Am I the birthday grinch?

[Celp28]

My DS turns 10 tomorrow. I have brought and wrapped every present for him (plus started all of the Christmas shopping!) Today his grandad asked me to pick him up after school and take him and DS shopping so DS could pick his birthday present. My DS picked up a £43 game for XBox. Here the problem- his DS (21) has brought him PlayStation 5 for Christmas! (Including the game) I explained that the XBox game was a little expensive and tried to steer him towards picking something else. I discreetly explained to DFIL the situation. Instead of being discreet and supportive he started shouting saying well what would you have picked if your mum wasn’t here and shaking his head in annoyance.
DS couldn’t find anything else he wanted so DFIL gave him £20 and we drove home in stoney silence. When DFIL got out of the car my DH turns to DS and says ‘well you missed out, you only got £20 instead of the game you wanted’. DS looked crestfallen and I refrained from screaming at DH.
Im now sat here feeling like a prize bitch that’s ruined DS birthday, but tbh I am so disappointed in DH for not supporting me and helping out in an awkward situation. What can I do to make my DS less disappointed?

Your FIL should not have shouted. He should have offered to go to another shop. Your husband made your son feel bad. He is only ten. I 💯 agree with you.

You haven't ruined his birthday. Always difficult with birthdays and Christmas so near but keep quiet til after Christmas day then tell him the truth in an age appropriate way of course.

How horrible! Especially making your son the one to blame for all that mean behaviour. No advice really, just wanted to say I’d be feeling exactly the same. Also, I’m sure your son at the age of 10 doesn’t see the monetary difference in value as an issue, so why should his dad?

You didn’t read the thread before posting your spiteful comment? Why do some people really desperately need to bitchy?

Life is hard and no one has that kind of money to waste. “Could have just bought it” - ha. I’d like to see wasting money/present contributions like that, I bet you wouldn’t be so wasteful in your own life.

How come dh had to go on this shopping trip too ? 3 adults needed for one boy to choose a present.

I’d of been the same as you. It’s like they are trying to spoil a big gift for Christmas for no reason. Absolutley ridiculous behaviour from dad and grandad - like jealousy that they want to be the one to give him the game.

What 10 year olds are you hanging around with that wouldn't understand the concept of waiting?!?

What credit ? OP wasn’t buying the game. And in your rush to make a snotty comment, if you had bothered to read the thread, you’d have seen that the Xbox is old and faulty. £43 on a game to suit a machine that’s on it’s last legs and about to be replaced is ridiculous, and most people haven’t got money to waste like that.

Santa really only exists in a child’s life for about 6 or 7 years, so what if he gets the credit for the big gifts for those few years. By the age of 12 kids know where all the presents come from. If people want their children to have that magic, it’s none of anyone else’s business.

Well, regarding your father-in-law‘s and your husband‘s behaviour, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree!

let’s hope your child has inherited your genes.

I think you should have a chat with your husband so that you are both on the same page. And it’s probably better if he has a word with his dad.

I thought normal ones but maybe not. Whiny ones maybe 🤷‍♀️ not sure what answer you’re looking for.

actually I don’t even think it’s limited to 10 year olds. You ask anyone ‘do you want something now and get a months enjoyment out of it. or do you want to wait a month for it’. When someone else is paying why would anyone pick to wait a month?

Thanks for all of your replies (even the less complimentary ones). Just some info: DS21 has got the PS5 on a discount for a good price. I offered to buy it or go halves but they said no. It’s not something that would normally be given as a gift but it’s what they want to do.
DS10 has never admitted to not believing in Santa. I suspect he perhaps doesn’t believe in, but doesn’t want to admit it in case he gets less presents 🤣 Also he is such a kind and thoughtful boy he wouldn’t want to ruin the magic for DS4. Either way, I’m happy to keep the Christmas magic alive. There’s just something so special when they still believe in Santa.
So DS10 had a great birthday, with no mention of the Xbox game! He got a lot of Lego so has hardly turned the Xbox on!
I did talk with DH about it. He did apologise for not having my back with his DF. He said he didn’t think through the comment about getting less. I have told him he needs to have more consideration in future. I also told him I was excepting him to pull his finger out and be more thoughtful over Christmas gifts and get buying some! (Honestly, I think he thinks Santa is real and brings all the gifts down the chimney on Christmas Eve). We are going Christmas shopping on Sunday. Wish me luck (and send me strength 🤣).
As for DFIL - I don’t have the mental strength to deal with that this side is Christmas! I’m just limiting interactions as I really don’t think he’ll have enough respect to listen!

Well done OP, sounds like you’re due a wonderful Christmas with your family. Hope your son enjoys the game when he gets to it!

My dad was like your husband, @Celp28.
In our family, we refer to that sort of person as a “sh*t disturber.”
My mother never never reacted either - and as I got older, it infuriated me. When I asked her why, she simply said, “because that’s what your father wants.”
I almost fell on the floor I laughed so hard. That whole time I thought her so timid.