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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not celebrating birthdays or Christmas?

189 replies

Doglover321 · 27/11/2024 08:31

I was working an agency shift yesterday when one of my colleagues confessed that she doesn’t celebrate her children’s birthdays or Christmas. They are only 8 and 4, and will be hearing from school friends all about Christmas and how many presents they’re going to get, etc. She said it’s because she’s a Jehovah’s Witness and wants to raise her girls as Witnesses also, but I can’t help but feel sad for them.

OP posts:
Lifeglowup · 27/11/2024 08:33

You confess to or a crime. Following your religious beliefs isn’t a crime.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 27/11/2024 08:36

It sounds hard for the children feeling left out but perhaps their parents make it up to them in other ways? You could ask your colleague who might be glad to talk about her faith

Original poster
Doglover321 · 27/11/2024 08:37

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 27/11/2024 08:36

It sounds hard for the children feeling left out but perhaps their parents make it up to them in other ways? You could ask your colleague who might be glad to talk about her faith

She said she just attends weekly meetings on her own and does door-knocking. Nothing for the kids :(

OP posts:
NineDaysQueen · 27/11/2024 08:45

Not your business. Would you post this about other religions which do not celebrate christmas?

Catza · 27/11/2024 08:45

Any children brought up in a hmm... religious cult are a concern. Not celebrating birthdays or Christmases are a small inconvenience by comparison to other things they might be subjected to. I would give up every birthday and Christmas for a simple opportunity to have a blood transfusion in a medical emergency, for example.

Georgyporky · 27/11/2024 08:46

The only good thing that came out of COVID was to stop the JWs knocking on my door.

Mydoglovescheese · 27/11/2024 08:48

I was a teacher and had several JW children in my class over the years. It is hard for them to be surrounded by Christmas activities and other children being excited about presents etc.

The children I taught were all members of the same extended family (siblings or cousins) and they received presents on their parents wedding anniversaries. I don't know whether this is the usual custom with JWs.

SpanThatWorld · 27/11/2024 08:52

They may not be celebrating Xmas or birthdays but they're all going to Paradise without the rest of us...

DurhamDurham · 27/11/2024 08:56

One of my school friends was brought up in a Jehovah Witness household. She did feel like she missed out on celebrations but was randomly treated through the year to toys, games and days out. They went on holiday every year at Christmas time to get away from it all.
She now celebrates birthdays and Christmas, unfortunately her family no longer have contact with her because of this.

whatagirlwants89 · 27/11/2024 08:56

Georgyporky · 27/11/2024 08:46

The only good thing that came out of COVID was to stop the JWs knocking on my door.

Ha! I had them knocking at my door yesterday. They clearly didn’t care about the fact that I said that I wasn’t religious and kept going on and on and on. I had to shut the door in the end.

In response to the op, it is sad but you can’t decide how someone else lives. You just have to trust that these adults are looking after their children in the best way.

theeyeofdoe · 27/11/2024 08:59

The not celebrating birthdays thing is weird.
They are allowed to choose another special day though and celebrate that!

Lots of religions don't celebrate Christmas...

romdowa · 27/11/2024 09:00

A girl in my school was raised like this by her witness parent. As soon as she was a teenager she went to her friends for Christmas day and her friends used to celebrate her birthday in secret. She definitely feels that being brought up like this harmed her . I always felt bad for her too

JurassicPark4Eva · 27/11/2024 09:02

I have two friends who are ex JW. One has HUGE celebrations of absolutely everything because they didn't get to do it as a kid. The other celebrates nothing and seems to find little joy in life outside of red wine and communism (yes really).

Both were badly damaged by being raised in what amounts to a cult irrespective of whether they had birthday parties or gifts on Xmas day. Plenty of religions have celebrations through the year but JW seems to be especially dour and joyless.

TheBeesKnee · 27/11/2024 09:03

Yes it's awful. Did religion which has damaged a lot of people, including 2 I know personally.

Green777 · 27/11/2024 09:09

JW’s aren’t a cult omg, they’re Christian’s that follow the Bible that’s why they follow the command of Jesus to preach as he did although it’s annoying for people, the difference between them and other Christian’s is they actually observe what’s in the Bible so you wouldn’t ever find a JW fighting in a war and killing others

Many celebrations such as Easter, Christmas,Halloween and Birthdays although lovely are completely pagan and many other religions also recognise this

Nourishinghandcream · 27/11/2024 09:11

I worked with a JW and they home schooled, as did many of their fellow JW's.
The subject of birthdays & Christmas was discussed but apparently it wasn't an issue as the children were not brought up to celebrate them or expect presents on those days. Gifts were given on other days throughout the year.

Green777 · 27/11/2024 09:12

Another difference is, although kids probably accompany their parents preaching while they’re young, they’re not automatically baptised at birth like in other religions. So when a child becomes an adult it’s up to them if they get baptised or not, which I think is great as they choose which religion they want if at all

IntoTheArk · 27/11/2024 09:14

I thought it was common knowledge that JWs don't celebrate events.

Original poster
Doglover321 · 27/11/2024 09:20

Thanks all for your opinions. She said they won’t be able to ‘opt-out’ of the religion until they are 18. I do feel it should be personal choice sometimes.

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/11/2024 09:21

Georgyporky · 27/11/2024 08:46

The only good thing that came out of COVID was to stop the JWs knocking on my door.

Ditto. Despite my asking them more than once not to call again, because I’m not, and never will be interested, they keep coming.
IMO they are an infernal bloody nuisance and I for one, do look on them as a pernicious cult to be avoided.

Original poster
Doglover321 · 27/11/2024 09:28

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/11/2024 09:21

Ditto. Despite my asking them more than once not to call again, because I’m not, and never will be interested, they keep coming.
IMO they are an infernal bloody nuisance and I for one, do look on them as a pernicious cult to be avoided.

Show quote history

She seemed so enthusiastic about the door-knocking as well. I’m personally really confused about how often they do it. Door-knocking on a weekly or so basis just seems extreme!

OP posts:
Horrace · 27/11/2024 09:30

I'm an ex JW.
School was awful because of this very reason.
And it's a lie when they tell you that they get presents all year round. The kids say this. I said it. But it's all nonsense.
Nothing makes up for joining in with other kids at school. And to not celebrate birthdays is awful. All religions celebrate birthdays apart from the dubs.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/11/2024 09:32

Doglover321 · 27/11/2024 09:20

Thanks all for your opinions. She said they won’t be able to ‘opt-out’ of the religion until they are 18. I do feel it should be personal choice sometimes.

Of course it should.

Re 'other religions that don't celebrate Christmas' - the children of Muslim and Hindu families (plus those with no theistic faith' of course) in dds schools all participated in Christmas celebrations at school and outside of it including nativity plays. People trotting that line out are being a bit disingenuous.

SprinkleCake · 27/11/2024 09:33

I still remember the JW kids at my school having to stand in the hallway during assemblies and Christmas events etc. It seems cruel looking back.

M340 · 27/11/2024 09:33

Doglover321 · 27/11/2024 09:20

Thanks all for your opinions. She said they won’t be able to ‘opt-out’ of the religion until they are 18. I do feel it should be personal choice sometimes.

How awful. Those poor children. What a horrid cult.