Not celebrating birthdays or Christmas?

[Doglover321]

I was working an agency shift yesterday when one of my colleagues confessed that she doesn’t celebrate her children’s birthdays or Christmas. They are only 8 and 4, and will be hearing from school friends all about Christmas and how many presents they’re going to get, etc. She said it’s because she’s a Jehovah’s Witness and wants to raise her girls as Witnesses also, but I can’t help but feel sad for them.

Well I've had posts deleted, as have many others, even when we've questioned primary aged girls needing to be fully veiled and the hampering of play/communication. You obviously missed the posts after the Southport etc incident. The JW leaders are being critised, but ask why women and girls are targeted by some and it's all just coincidence.

@Ponoka7

Then the admins fools and shouldn't be pandering to offended few just because they dont agree with something someone has said.

Debate is healthly

Do they call their followers to kill?

Wow, is that seriously the criterion you're judging them by. (Though some of these religions, at various points in history it'd be a yes.)

Maybe read up a bit on cult traits and have an honest thought about where they may be applicable.

Really? All religions? Do we really get to speak freely about our concerns and oppose aspects of their beliefs? Even on here we can't do that.

Maybe it's the way you do it. I've been discussing and often opposing religions on here for years including pretty frank 'concerns' without deletion.

Well there's a religion whose leaders do that today, but if you'd have written that post about it, it would have been deleted.
It seems JW and Travellers are fair game.

I used to have a Jehovah's Witness lady working for me, she was lovely. She never ever proselytised but she was always very happy to talk about or discuss her religion.
She had five children and I asked about the non-Birthday thing. I asked how do they know that they're no longer five, they're six? So she said that when the child came down for breakfast, she would have a little chat with them, say that she remembered the lovely day that they were born and how happy she had been and just mentioned the fact that they were now a year older.
I also asked her about not accepting blood transfusions. I said would you really let one of your lovely children die for the lack of a blood transfusion, she said we don't really have to worry about that because it would never happen. I asked how it would never happen, she said the doctors would always take over and there would be a court order to allow the child to have a blood transfusion. She did agree that this seemed rather hypocritical!

Well there's a religion whose leaders do that today, but if you'd have written that post about it, it would have been deleted.

Would I? Well, taking a wild guess at what you're hinting at, it seems entirely uncontroversial to state that there are extreme Islamist groups who actively encourage its followers to kill. Obviously, however, not 'a religion whose leaders..', which implies all of Islam is like that. That would be as false as, oh, claiming all of the CofE liked beating young men in the 80s.

They are not Christian at all. They do not believe in the Holy Trinity and are a cult. A very damaging one too.

What has always worked for me is to say “I have too much respect for religion to believe it should be discussed at random on the doorstep. Have a good day.”

If you’re not religious, you’re a potential mark, so they’ll keep pushing. If you appear to have a strong faith, or at least to have thought carefully about religion, they know they’re unlikely to get anywhere with you.

I lived next door to a family with 2 kids. Their parents became JWs when the kids were 4 and 8 ( my DM was godmother to the youngest), so all of a sudden no birthdays or Christmas, but M&D can celebrate ther wedding anniversary. My DM was heartbroken for the kids and although they lived next door for another 35yrs, until my DM died, they would not even acknowledge her! They were basically nit allowed friends or relatives who were not in the JWs.

I knew a girl as well whose mum was, dad not but they followed mum. Utterly awful for her she was left out of all the fun she looked utterly sad and forlorn.
So joyless and selfish.
As an aside when growing up we were cash poor so modest presents mostly, like new note book, stationary, a book etc. But dm made rhe house look amazing, the atmosphere, candles, oranges, streamers that was Xmas for me

I actually didn't write this on my previous replies on here as it's a really upsetting read, but I've changed my mind and will post this. I was friends with a girl in school who was a JW.

Friend had a really sad time at school. She wouldn't be involved in any of the Christmas and birthday celebrations. I remember the teacher giving her a handful of celebrations on the day after someone's birthday whenever the birthday kid would bring sweets in.

Sadly, when the girl was a teenager she was raped. It was a random attack and no one ever got convicted of it. The rape resulted in a pregnancy. She was so incredibly young, far too young to ever bring a child into the world. Her family opposed abortion and she ultimately had the child in her teens. If she aborted she would be shunned. This was pre GCSE stage. She was still in school at this point.. so incredibly young. She wanted an abortion but she couldn't have one. She ended up having the baby but ended up turning to alcohol and drugs due to the sheer pressure from her JW parents. She eventually got shunned from her family and ended up in care. She was incredibly vulnerable to say the least. When she was in care, she was groomed by a man 30 years her senior. Many authorities were involved and she was eventually removed from the school and her child was taken from her and adopted.

Thankfully, she has completely turned her life around. She's done incredibly well, she now has a family of her own, a lovely partner and she's made her own roots now. Her family still have nothing to do with her.

I've posted this with her permission as it's incredibly identifying. But all this started because she was a very young teen who couldn't cope or deal with the pressures of having a baby when she was just a baby herself. She fully blames the cult / religion for her trauma.

It's nothing short of neglect. She is a fantastic mother to her children. She is clean and sober and has been for 15+ years. But it goes to show, women and girls should ALWAYS have a choice. Religion shouldn't come into it.

I thoroughly recommend a book The Last Days, A Memoir of Faith, Desire and Freedom by Ali Millar. @Horrace is entirely correct.