To think women don't pay for sex....

[Jigglemonster]

My guy friends have mostly paid for sex (or at least their friends have). Those same guys have insisted that women do the same but I have never encountered it. AIBU in thinking women are generally less needy in this regard?

100%

YUBU to think women are generally less needy but in answer to paying for sex which is a different matter, I don't think women would need to personally, as most men jump at the chance anyway. I would struggle to think of why a woman would need to pay for it?

Does a vibrator count? If not, I doubt it

I can’t believe you know (of) that many people either men or women who pay for sex. Clearly we move in different circles.

I don’t know whether it’s a common thing, but I need some emotional investment in order to get the most out of an encounter. It’s not just a physical thing.

Plus, women are quite self sufficient.

In my experience, talking to many women , we don't generally feel the need to pay for sex in the same way that men sometimes do . Vit watching thread with interest !😀

My friend was a sex worker who only worked with women. Lots of women in married hetero relationships used to pay for her time. I’m not sure how many would pay for a male sex worker when going to any pub on any night of the week is likely to find you a freebie.

Ugh who do you hang around with. Get better friends/associates. I'm 50 and have 100s of friends and colleagues who I speak to on all subjects. Only 1 has even said they have paid for sex. Never spoke to the scummy bastard again. That was in 1998! The hang out with decent blokes who don't treat women especially vulnerable ones as commodities.

I used to crew yachts. I knew one ( very rich, very suntanned) woman who was always accompanied by a changing cast of handsome but much younger men. I don’t think it was her wit they found mesmerising.

Tha’s about the only time I’ve ever come across a pretty definite case of female ‘buying’ sex, although she was buying the escort and companion role, not just the PIV. Of course , there were plenty of plump old blokes with blondes half their age on their arms, ( and one or two with pretty boys) so no difference there.

I don’t personally know now any men who pay for sex, and I would strongly advise you to get some different male friends, you know, some who actually like and respect women.

Female sex tourism is thriving.

I knew one woman who did. Late 50s/early 60s. Not interested in a relationship, but wanted sex. Didn’t fancy men her own age so paid for male escorts.

@username8348 blimey that is an eye opener !

I always think of the cartoon where a boy and a girl are showing each other their bits. Boy flashes his willy and says “you haven’t got one of those”, girl points below and says “no, but I have one of these which means I can have one of those any time I want”.

It's been happening for years.

I dont really know if this is a real thing or not. I have never met or heard of any women anecdotally who do this. I’m quite wary of the media making stuff up for a story

YANBU in that we know for a fact very few women pay for sex (it happens on occasion but it’s rare). However, I also think it’s unusual to know lots of men who pay for sex too. It’s far more common for men to do so than women but still unusual!

Generally men and women want very different things when it comes to sex. It’s a tiny minority of very unusual women who’d be gratified by paid-for sex.

It’s not about neediness but about how male vs female sexuality functions

I only know of one guy who's (admitted that he once) paid for sex (and it wasn't entirely his choice, he was young and his dad arranged it 😖).

Never known a woman to do so. I think women usually prefer to sleep with someone who actually wants to sleep with them.

Male johns who feel that way seem to get around it by fooling themselves into believing the sex worker enjoys having sex with them.

I probably would if men weren't so shitty.. but we live in the world we live in and honestly I'd be too afraid of violence and or sexual assault to ever consider it.. and obviously there's the whole problem of not knowing if someone's being exploited..
But if it were all equal it's not the concept of it that would bother me. I don't see what's different about paying fir sex than paying for manual labour or paying for anything... in concept that is. Obviously there are social factors that make it very different and it's those that prevent me from doing it.
I can see the appeal of having sex that you know there's going to be no emotional side to and both people know where they stand due to it being a transaction... however in reality there so much danger and so much going on with it that I'd never do it.

Almost all of the men that I have been close enough to ask about this (friends and ex partners) have paid for sex before. I can't actually remember any of them saying no, but I'm assuming it's happened and I maybe don't remember it as it isn't as salacious.

Most seemed to be "one off" occasions when young and on a lads trip to Amsterdam or travelling in Thailand, or a happy ending at a massage parlour in the UK. I don't know any of them that use escorts in the UK or who do it regularly.

I don't know a single woman that has paid for sex.

On a big scale, I don’t know, but I do know a few years ago I was away for a conference event for work, they had put on a free bar afterwards for everyone afterwards and as I was chatting to different people (everyone had had more than a few drinks) a group of women were telling me about a local erotic massage company they use when in that city for events, the man comes to your hotel room and gives you a massage + extras, including sex. I was gobsmacked as I also possibly naively thought people I met in my day to day life weren’t paying for sex!

vom.

I have never paid for sex and don't believe my friends have. Of course I can't be sure, but I'd be very surprised if my friends did.

This.