To wonder if my 6 year old thinks in a strange way

[Andsoitgoeshey]

Dd turned 6 not long ago.

Last year when she was 5, I started the elves, she immediately asked if I did the elves and kept going on about the letter from the elves being from me.
This year, she asked a couple of weeks ago if it was us that really bought the presents, not santa, she hasn’t heard anything at school etc or would have said, this is just the way she thinks.
We were watching Home alone the other day and I made a joke saying imagine being home on your own at aged 8 having to look after yourself and the fun you could have. She said he wasn’t alone because of the person behind the camera filming him…!
I just never thought this way as a child, I became really absorbed in films, not even realising they weren’t real and believed in Father Christmas and that magical world.
She’s very imaginative and loves role play and pretending to be different characters.

Is this normal for a 6 year old? I find it quite sad

Op I work in primary school. There are ND children that think like that and there are NT children that do too. That alone is not a sign of autism.

This.

My youngest is likely ND and absolutely lives in her imagination. Completely knows it's imaginary, but has a very strong ability to suspend disbelief and enter into fantasy worlds. Loves film theory and the workings of stories.

As far as 'magic' goes... it's odd how 'the magic' (mainly meaning Santa) seems to have become an ersatz Christmas religion that so many parents seem desperate for their children to believe in.

Your daughter sounds fab, OP. I remember taking my eldest and his good friend, aged 6, to a place where there was a 'flight simulator' (one of those boxes that shakes about) simulating flying over a rainforest. Inside, the friend was really getting into the imaginary experience. My ds just said drily 'it's just a box being shaken around'. Friend is now studying theatre/drama and ds is training as a paramedic. Different personalities.

Oh, thank you!
I'm autistic and I always believed everything I was told because I didn't lie so I didn't realise other people would.

I still have trouble not taking things people say at face value. It puts you at risk of being exploited, so I think the OP's daughter is better off.

When my DC were little we watched a terrifying Doctor Who episode where as soon as you turned away from the monsters you forgot about them. DD1 kept asking 'why are they scared of that person wearing a silly mask'. I don't think it's anything to worry about at all, and certainly not a sign of ND on its own, some people enjoy the suspension of disbelief in 'magic', others don't. Doesn't mean their childhood is less wonderful, just that they like other things. Forget the fantasy and focus on the wonder in the natural world, she'll probably love astronomy or paleontology or microbiology. There are scientific facts that are much more wonderful than any story.

@Marblesbackagain

re-read your own posts again and note how many times you longingly mention a desire for her to embrace a “magic / magical” experience.

I could be wrong here but I think there’s something going on about your own needs for escape from reality that you’re trying to experience through your daughter, by proxy.

Have a good think and try to meet her on her ground, not feel sad or disappointed that she’s somehow not playing along with how you feel she should be and therefore spoiling your vicarious fun.

I think she’s an amazing, perceptive intelligent child. Be happy!

Your kid is smart, you were naive (as a kid). Every child is different. Nothing sad about it.

I’m autistic as well and I don’t lie either, so I can relate! I was only diagnosed last year at the age of 64.

My diagnosis has actually helped me so much because I’ve been exploited by wicked people several times in my life and I had thought I must have been very stupid to take them at face value and not to know they were being deceptive. Now I understand it’s not lack of intelligence that led me to believe them.

Just struggling now with trusting anyone at all. Pendulum swing I suppose 🤷🏼‍♀️

Children can be very intelligent and academic and also have a childish imagination. I agree with OP that it's a bit sad that her child doesn't believe in the magic of Christmas.

I figured out it was my parents very early.

My eldest 'believed' in Santa and the Tooth fairy by sheer force of will until he was 12. My youngest is much more cynical, and had his doubts from about 3 (but still asked that the tooth fairy and stockings were kept out of his room, as he didn't like the idea of someone coming in while he was asleep!)

In fact I got in trouble (well, a concerned parent and teacher asked that I tell my kids to keep quiet about it!) at school because my kids said something about the elf on the shelf being parents - when all I'd said was that there was no way a naughty elf would be tolerated in my house - I'd immediately chuck it out rather than encourage it.

In summary - I like how logical she is. Bodes well for her (and tricky for you if you want to keep any magic or secrets!)

This. I was like that and I think I'm quite normal now just not easily taken in.

Sad for who?

5/6 is old to believe in Santa and Elf on the shelf.

As soon as mine started school they knew Santa was not real.

She's a critical thinker. That's a good thing.

Don't assume there has been no magic in her childhood. She's only challenged a few things. I'm sure there are other magical things she has accepted without question, particularly when she was younger.

Not sad.

My ds thinks exactly the same way.

He did believe in Santa or rather never said he didn't but he took things at face value.

However one year I did the icing sugar footprints and although he was excited Santa had filled his sticking he asked me why there were flour footprints in the hallway 🤦‍♀️😂

He is autistic. We didn't know at the time though.

So .....she is smart, savvy and switched on and yet you'd rather she was more like you were as a child?

🙄

Use YOUR imagination and make this time of year magical without the lies

Start yearly Christmas rituals which are joyful and sparkling and which dovetail with your child's intelligence

Be thankful that you have an AMAZING AWESOME child

Stop whinging

Everyone is talking about the santa stuff, but the comment about Kevin in home alone is almost the 'saddest' or most unusual.
Its a shame not to lose yourself in a film or book say.
She didn't distinguish between kevin the character and Macauley Culkin the actor. You meant Kevin was all alone which he was.

She is how she is. I'm sure she's a wonderful child as they all are, in all their unique ways! It can be a jolt when you realise your child is quite different to you in some way.

Some children find the idea of Santa, the tooth fairy and being left home alone a bit troubling and need proof that they aren’t reality. Her imaginary games probably don’t worry her at all which is why she is happy to suspend her disbelief for them.

She sounds super smart! Good for her.

My eldest never believed. She just pulled a face and said it wasn't possible and that was it. And this was from a very early age. It's not that unusual. As she got a bit older I've got her to understand that the pretending is the fun part. So I pretend it's real and she plays along and enjoys it because she's knows I know it's not true. She's also ND (and in her twenties now and I'm still pretending 🤣)

My DD admitted that she stopped believing at about 6, she said she always knew it was me and her Dad. Although she also never liked Santa, she didn't like the idea of him coming into the house at night, she hates anybody coming to the house, even family.

She's very logical and switched on. She's 13 now and interestingly were waiting for an Autism assessment for her.

This sounds like my daughter. She cracked Santa early too. I always remember when she was about three walking through the woods and I said ‘I wonder if we’ll see a fairy’ and she just turned and looked at me with disgust and said ‘fairies aren’t real mummy, if they were, scientists would have caught them’. She is now very into real facts and still enjoys hearing a story and gets totally absorbed. She’s just rational through and through. We try and find the awe and wonder from real life things.

Sad? She is smart!
And she is 6. Not 4.

I don't remember ever believing in Santa, I knew it was my mum and dad, it was still very very fun, exciting and magical to pretend.

Interesting the thread about autism. My child who is most like this is being assessed. He likes to know how everything works and will come up with explanations of his own if the ones he finds don't make sense. But I thought this way too as a child and I'm not autistic.

Yes me too. At least, I worked it out as soon as I thought about it. I remember being amused (if slightly patronised) when my similarly nonsense-averse parents clearly left large hints so we would know who really loved us enough to give us all those presents. I thought "do they think I haven't worked it out?"