To wonder if my 6 year old thinks in a strange way

[Andsoitgoeshey]

Dd turned 6 not long ago.

Last year when she was 5, I started the elves, she immediately asked if I did the elves and kept going on about the letter from the elves being from me.
This year, she asked a couple of weeks ago if it was us that really bought the presents, not santa, she hasn’t heard anything at school etc or would have said, this is just the way she thinks.
We were watching Home alone the other day and I made a joke saying imagine being home on your own at aged 8 having to look after yourself and the fun you could have. She said he wasn’t alone because of the person behind the camera filming him…!
I just never thought this way as a child, I became really absorbed in films, not even realising they weren’t real and believed in Father Christmas and that magical world.
She’s very imaginative and loves role play and pretending to be different characters.

Is this normal for a 6 year old? I find it quite sad

@Marblesbackagain My whole life is about doing things she likes, it’s ok, she’s very happy

There’s no harm in wanting that magic for your kids, it was just a post to see if others this age were similar.

@Andsoitgoeshey I think she's just remarkably bright.

When my dd was only just 3, she asked me what the moon was made of. I said it was just a big round rock and she said oh good - because other people thought it was made of cheese and that was just silly.

Fine but you keep posting lamenting her lack of magic. There is harm when it doesn't suit the child because then you are sending a message that her way is wrong and lacking versus celebrating her intellect and stop the magic which is lies 🤷‍♀️

Should it make you feel any better OP I don't think I ever believed in Santa (or the tooth fairy) - certainly not by 6 - and my childhood Christmases were still completely magical. I could also never see the appeal of visiting Disneyland and 'meeting the real Mickey Mouse' as it was perfectly clear to me that it was just someone in a foam costume, given that Mickey was a cartoon. I'm sure some people would find that rather depressing, but I used to immerse myself in books (still do!) and was able to create magical / imaginative worlds that way - I certainly never felt that anything was lacking.

I have a ND son who thinks in a very similar way. I under what you mean by it making you sad- I feel like he has never been able to get into the “magic” of some things the way our other children do. But he is a very intelligent, curious wee boy.

Quite normal tbh.

Stop projecting your expectations and how your childhood was into your kid

We're all different!

The questions she is asking are not odd, they're insightful

Answer everything honestly

She thinks like myself and my children. We are autistic. I only found out a few years ago some children think the characters at Disney are real! Or the people who dress up as FC. That blows my mind! I could even say it seems a bit sad that they are so easily fooled!

She is not you. She is her own person - and her 'best bits of childhood' will not be the same as yours.

That doesn't mean they won't be as good, or that she's missing out. There is at least as much 'magic' in intellectual curiosity and figuring out how the world really works as there is in following other people's stories. And, unlike believing in Father Christmas, that magic lasts for life - and you can even make a good living from it if you wish to.

Try to meet her where she is, rather than pushing her to where you were.

Yes, and girls often go un-notived as they can learn how to mask the signs.

My son figured it out at 6 as well, I was disappointed because I remember thinking it was probably the last year it would be magicalto him, and then he told me he knew it was me. He likes helping make it fun for his younger siblings though

She can still have great Christmases without believing in FC. It would be very sad if people only enjoyed Christmas as long as they believed.

I would ask your dd what she enjoys about Christmases and focus on those sorts of things. For example if she’s about sensory things like lights and baubles then involve her in decorating. If she’s about crafts then get some ideas for 1 December. I know some households where siblings who know The Truth are allowed to set up Elf on the Shelf. If she’s about the good, do a blind test of mince pies or whatever from different shops and film her comments like a YouTube video.

I have young adult kids and even when they were cynical teens, they would get sentimental and happy with stuff like unpacking the Christmas baubles or when I’d buy “Christmas food” like tins of Quality Street. They weren’t all gushing normally but Christmas seemed to brings some oooo and ahhhhs that was very sweet.

My SS is like this (just turned 7, but been like this since around 4).
If watching a film he'll just say 'it's not real though'.
Always pointed out that the Santa we visited wasn't the real one because of his beard or some other false aspect. We just told him it's because Santa needs helpers to make sure every child can see him.

He does struggle with imagination in play though, tends to role play real life situations or do things like Lego and hot wheels that are more actual.
We've encouraged him to make up stories with us at bedtime to keep him creative. He does love doing that.

I didn’t grow up with Santa (not Christian, grew up in Asia). I knew of it as a concept that Western kids believe in. Didn’t have a tooth fairy or Easter bunny. We have plenty of festivals all involving mythology of some nature but many of these stories are gruesome. Still had a pretty great childhood as did most of my friends. When I looked at idols of the Hindu god Durga I didn’t actually think she was in it (also because there was another one in the next lane) but I enjoyed the food, the presents, the holiday spirit.

For Christmas we had carols in school and a nativity play (Christian school) but obviously no Christmas presents. It was just a holiday. I love Christmas songs and movies and did even as a child without ever seeing snow or believing in Santa.

It’s a very narrow view of what makes a magical childhood. And your daughter sounds hugely intelligent. I’d really be cherishing that.

Does the all seeing all knowing 'god' in the sky, fool her too or not?

Is she an Aquarius 🤣
What a sweet girl. Bless her.

I had a vivid imaginary life as a child, loads of imaginary friends and made up stories etc with them. (To myself, didnt involve other people)
While I technically did believe in father Christmas we weren't a family that really talked about it other than that the stocking was from FC, there was no 'magic of Christmas or putting out fake footprints so it was more that I didn't really give a lot of thought to if the idea was true rather than adamantly 'believed'. I certainly wasn't lying awake listing for sleighbells and it didn't damage my enjoyment of Christmas. And if I had asked I am confident they would have told me. My family might have been influenced as my older sister had to be told it was made up at 3 when she had utter hysterics at the idea of a strange man creeping into her room at night. Can't say it seemed to hurt her enjoyment of stocking presents at all!

I was this child and one of my own is too!

We rumbled the tooth and Santa way too early, asked about death in detail from about toddler age (none of this “in the sky” business) and queried why there wasn’t a world king. We went to see a posh Santa and while an older sibling was slightly freaked out, the cynic was all “it’s a man with a false beard!”. She was all of 3/4.

She has a high EQ which I think is linked, could read the room from an early age - like sensing the teacher was unhappy - and found that confusing as a child when she’d be thinking about the big picture while other kids were oblivious.

I had the Santa racket fully sussed by Christmas in P1 (just turned 5) and so did my daughter. She actually shouted ‘that not Santa he wearin trainers that a MMMMMANNNN’ at 2s group (she’d just turned 3) so that was great 😬. I don’t think it’s necessarily a sign of anything other than that your DD is switched on and all about the facts. And that we really notice shoes? I am laughing at the Home Alone one, that’s smart. I was also super-imaginative and really bought into films and stuff but I was always aware it wasn’t real.

She’s intelligent. What a clever girl!
you are blessed to have such a wise child.

Take it as a blessing. No sodding elf or tiptoeing around at midnight with a stocking which you have to hide behind your back when they are still awake.

To be honest I don’t remember ever believing f in Santa or the tooth fairy. I knew it was just my parents. It didn’t bother me - I’m not sure why I never believed! I have three older siblings but they never spoiled it for me. It didn’t really matter because I just saw those things like the letters from Santa and the tooth fairy as lovely things my mum and dad would do.

Hi there, I just wanted to say that my DD is autistic and she completely believed in Father Christmas until she went to secondary school. I actually told her before she started Year 7 because I thought she was getting a bit old and would seem silly around her peers and she was devastated and cried a lot. She then said she still wants to believe in him and let’s just go on as we were. So, there wasn’t an ND link with us. Just adding this for some balance as your child may be ND but I wouldn’t base it on this at all. She does have a very active imagination though and played a lot of imaginary games, but this is due to her being very creative.

When I was young in the 1960s you had to travel for miles to see Santa, and it was a treat. It was special. I don't think I believed in Santa, but i didn't not.

Now that there are Santas everywhere, mostly in horrible cheap costumes, it's not surprising that the magic has vanished. At least she and all the other kids are able to be honest.

She's clearly an intelligent child. That's not sad.