Is he ghosting me ?

[YourLovingTraybake]

Guy I have been dating is going through something right now in his life and 2 days ago I talked to him ,he replied just fine but then left me on read.I texted next day morning and he hasn't seen the message yet ,it'd been more than 24hrs.
Yesterday he liked my story and has been on facebook online.
He had deactivated tiktok few weeks ago and I unfriended him as it was not an active account ,he left me on read right after reactivating the account and we don't follow each other anymore.He has very few friends there.
I am not sure if he got upset by it or its a coincidence but he usually replies promptly.
Why like my story if he wants to ghost ?
To actively tell me he is on his phone but ignoring me ?
I don't want to draw too many conclusions but my anxiety is telling me to send a lighthearted text tomorrow asking how he is doing or send a cute meme or smth but don't want to seem desperate.

Just move on. He doesn’t seem that invested and this level of analysis is exhausting, it’s only going to cause you more anguish. Leave it be, whatever happens will happen. If you keep chasing him and his intentions are less than honourable, he will know he has you where he wants you. Choose people who choose you.

By the way, by liking your posts he’s keeping you invested in him. It’s done on purpose and is a form of breadcrumbing. It’s mind games.

I think it’s too early to tell. Everyone has different styles of communicating and one text a week would be too much for some people, especially if he’s got stuff going on.

Personally, I’d leave it until tomorrow, then maybe send him a friendly text asking how his day has been and you’re just checking how he’s doing as you haven’t spoken for a couple of days. If he replies then great. If he doesn’t, then you’ve got your answer. Delete and on to bigger & better things. And if he’s sulking because you unfollowed his tik tok account (seriously? I know I’m showing my age, but isn’t it just teenagers doing silly dances?) then cut him off ruthlessly. You do not need someone who is a) a sulker, or b) playing tit for tat games.

What I would say is that if your anxiety is at the stage where you’re worrying about the actions of a complete stranger, it might be an idea to either put on line dating on hold for a while, or get some barriers up so that you’re not so invested. Treat them like a poster on here you’ve had a friendly chat with. It’s nice to speak to them but it’s not going to have an impact on your life if they don’t reply to your last message.

If he wanted to reply to you he would have.

in this day and age people have their phones on them 99% of the day. He has seen your messages and chosen not to reply.

Move on from this one. He clearly doesn’t have good communication skills and isn’t interested.

You deserve more.

If you don't hear from him tomorrow I'd write him off. I can't be bothered with guessing games in an adult relationship!

@DaisyChain505
He hasn't seen the message yet and he just left me on read after the tiktok thing which might be my assumption but those things happened at same time.
His father died and he is not in a good place so trying to be understanding.
I don't feel invested this early with everyone and I am speaking to other people at same time but truly I only like him.
@Whothefuckdoesthat Most times I am controlling my anxiety but there are these little moments I get very upset especially when I see him online on my socials.

This sounds exhausting for such a new relationship?

If you sent a message and he’s on his phone, he’s more than likely seen it come up on his Home Screen and has purposefully not opened it. It could be that he’s too busy to respond right now, but taken together with everything else, I’d say it’s likely he’s ignoring you.

It’s making you very anxious, he knows what he’s doing, he’s giving you hope and that dopamine hit by still liking posts or replying sporadically etc. It’s calculated. It keeps people addicted and wanting more. The victims feel relieved when given attention and then the cycle goes round again.

Stop dating and work on your boundaries and self esteem. People like this get an ego boost by messing with anxious people who crave love and attention. Let it go and stop worrying about him. You will feel better in the end.

How long have you been dating?

He's just had a very significant bereavement. It's not about analysing his tiktok activity or any of that. Provide the level of real world support you deem appropriate and allow him space. If it comes to the point you genuinely don't know where you stand, it depends how long you've been dating/ how serious as to how you'll be advised.

@Teanbiscuits33
It's the first time ever he does such a thing and I am confused.
In past he has replied very quickly ,I know you can see ppl story by mistake but liking it ?feels intentional

@Waterboatlass
Not very long just a couple of months but in communication we have been very open and I feel I can ask him what is going on but I worry this might be a power play to see how crazy upset I might get .
Part of Me feels that I really don't want him that much and I am upset because my ego has been bruised.

Well if it was because of a bereavement he could easily just message you saying that he’s struggling at the moment and wants space. If he cared about you he would because he wouldn’t want you to be anxious or thinking you have done something wrong. You will just have to wait and see. I’d let it go if I were you. It’s quite common that these people will go all in love bombing in the beginning to get you attached to them and then pull back with all sorts of excuses. Have you ever met yet?

@Teanbiscuits33
We have met and been intimate as well

The thing is, a person who likes another person is WAITING to hear from them. In this case he has seen your messages and not replied. I'm sorry but to me that says he is not that bothered, and thus he is not what you are looking for. The love of your life is not 'not that bothered' about you - he is waiting for your message, messaging you every morning, arranging to see you etc. This guy is luke warm.

You can carry on seeing if he comes back, or you can find someone who is like WOW!!!!! at you. I'm old now. Do the latter. The former are not worth it xxx

Well either way, I’d chalk this up to experience and let him go and learn from it.

OP, when my Dad died I was shell shocked for a long time. I couldn't even concentrate on watching a TV show, let alone make stimulating chat with potential romantic interests.
Please try and give him time and space to grieve however he needs. Not everyone wants cuddles and talk, many guys just need their cave and some time.
I know it feels rough, but I doubt it's anything you've done at this time.

@Teanbiscuits33
I asked him few days ago if he needed space and he got upset i asked ,saying he hasn't asked for space and thinking I don't want to understanding
I gave him an out which makes me feel confused cause he had the chance to ask for space and didn't but now he ignoring Me.

@Mydahliasareshit
I have no problem letting him have space but I offered him the chance for it and he got upset.

When did you last meet in person and how often was it before his dad died?

My thoughts here are that you've not been together long, your attempts to support him and offer space have been rebuffed and you're now feeling quite unsettled. I don't think this is healthy for you, focussing forensically tiktok etc when what you really want to know is what to do.

Not necessarily anyone's fault. Could just be shitty timing as he's had a big bereavement at the start of a promising new relationship and isn't handling it well. However as a PP says, grief can last and be unpredictable.

I would take control for your own sake. Very civil phone call. Ask how he is, say you're here to talk if he needs support but you get the impression he understandably isn't in a position to focus on dating for now. No hard feelings at all but you don't know him well enough to second guess where you stand and would prefer to take a step back and be friends. Brook no argument, this is for your sake, you're setting a boundary without kicking him while he's down if he's genuinely just not in the right frame of mind. Wish him well and end the call.

If he doesn't take the call send the same by text. That way you've wrapped things up and can move on.

He’s lost his dad so i’d just give him a bit of space. If no response by tomorrow then i’d just send a hope you’re ok, here if you need anything kind of message. He may have said he doesn’t need space, but when you’re grieving you’re not thinking straight. So I wouldn’t jump to conclusions that he’s ghosting you

Or the notification popped up while he was doing something and he swiped it away and then forgot to open it later.
Just message him tomorrow and say you hope he's ok and ask if he wants to go for a drink at the weekend or something? He'll reply or he won't. His dad just died, he's not going to be back to normal for a while, you need to chill.

Leave him, go do something else instead, he’ll come back.

It's a horrible way to treat someone.

The best advice I cab give you is don't contact him and see what he does. The answer will lie in there.

Spend you time evaluating whether you want a relationship with someone that treats you like this.

@Waterboatlass
I am scared of calling him incase I look to desperate and he is really trying to avoid me not just being forgetful.
I know I should probably get the hint but I like verbally communicating in order to move on quickly.