Is he ghosting me ?

[YourLovingTraybake]

Guy I have been dating is going through something right now in his life and 2 days ago I talked to him ,he replied just fine but then left me on read.I texted next day morning and he hasn't seen the message yet ,it'd been more than 24hrs.
Yesterday he liked my story and has been on facebook online.
He had deactivated tiktok few weeks ago and I unfriended him as it was not an active account ,he left me on read right after reactivating the account and we don't follow each other anymore.He has very few friends there.
I am not sure if he got upset by it or its a coincidence but he usually replies promptly.
Why like my story if he wants to ghost ?
To actively tell me he is on his phone but ignoring me ?
I don't want to draw too many conclusions but my anxiety is telling me to send a lighthearted text tomorrow asking how he is doing or send a cute meme or smth but don't want to seem desperate.

Please wake up and realise that people don’t just forget to reply or contact someone.

if he wanted to speak to you, he would have. If he wanted space he should have communicated that and been respectful.

he has decided this isn’t for him anymore. People are on their phones all day long on social media, using the internet, paying for things, using maps and so on. It would take him two seconds to send you a message but he’s choosing not to.

he may come crawling back one day with a message when he’s bored or fancies a shag but be strong and have enough self respect to say you’re not interested as he hasn’t respected you or treated you correctly.

are a lot of people missing the fact that his dad just passed away?
or does that not excuse someone for being less communicative than previously for a while?!

@longapple

The only reason I am considering getting in touch with him is because his dad passed away and his mind is not on me most obviously and understandably ,in normal circumstances I would just take the hint.
He was very close to him and death came as a shock.

I know, sorry, I was responding to all the people who were commenting as if he had just stopped responding to you out of the blue.

I think you should send him a message checking in, letting him know you're thinking of him and seeing if he wants to do anything or talk and say you know he's going through stuff and don't want to annoy him and if he'd rather be left alone for a bit just to say. could he perhaps have interpreted you asking if he needs space as asking if he wanted to break up, rather than just stepping back a bit temporarily?

Do you know for certain his dad has passed? I’ve watched people who can’t communicate make up the most awful things to “get out” of having that awkward talk with people they’re not into. Liking social media posts to keep you around incase they want to be intimate again. If you even have to ponder if someone likes you 99% of the time they don’t. Your ego isn’t bruised yet don’t reach out and you’ll thank yourself later.

I completely get this - you want to keep your dignity, but you still want to know where you stand.

I would leave the ball in his court now. I should add that when my lovely Mum died I was devastated, but still managed to keep in contact with people who were important to me. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear.

I was thinking the same thing. OP. His Dad has just DIED. sometimes people want to mindlessly scroll without engaging with people directly. I've even seen a meme about if. Given him space. He shouldn't have to speak up for space at this time. Just be there for him.

@Ceeceele
If he was lying wouldn't he be relieved I asked him if he wanted space ?he got upset and I would assume if that was the case he would say "you are right I am not in the headspace now for a romantic connection"
He replied after that but then just left me on read.
I just feel I need answers cause it could be many things ,if he is not Interested he will find me annoying and I don't care ,if he is interested then he won't take my attempt at contact as being desperate.

It's just been 2 days and you are fretting that he's not been in contact?

His Dad just died!

You are being unreasonable in expecting him to behave normally. You have only been dating, you are not his primary support yet, why are you expecting to be? If you can't contact him to see how he is after his Dad just died because you are scared of his reation then perhaps you aren't the right person for him not the other way around.

Just be kind and don't take anything to heart right now he won't be thinking straight

OP, on the Internet, there is this big push for women to have better boundaries. The only problem with that is that people mistake this for essentially being entitled. What I find interesting is how this plays out in different demographics of the Internet. For example, in my niece's peer group, it's all about guys being trash if they take them somewhere like Nandos. Or don't prioritise them over all social engagements.

Please don't get caught up in that. It seems like you're using this tragedy as a way to test his loyalty to you. Or see how important you are to him. I guarantee that he's for more likely to build loyalty, trust and significance by being a safe person for him in this difficult time. Not pushing for validation of your (very new) relationship.

Give him space to grieve.

@ByGentleFatball
It's quite early dating and I know of course I am not his primary support I understand that ,which is why I don't know how to act cause I don't want to smother him or be completely indifferent to his situation.
If he was my boyfriend I would feel the liberty to contact often or call.
So far I have contacted him every 5 days or so.

How long is it now since you messaged

The same as how you would react if a friend had a berevement.

Kindly, not expecting too much, not worrying about whether he has or hasn't responded. Ask him how he is, he will respond if he wants and when he wants.

You know you are not his priority right now however much anyone else tells you that you have to be or bin him.

There is no handbook to this, you have to be lead by him right now if you want to try for a relationship. If not, and bearing in mind he may not be ready for a relationship for a while now, just be kind when he does reply and walk away.

Stop! Just stop! This relationship, such as it it is, is utterly unhealthy. Your socials are not you or your life. If he wants to be with you in a real world way he will be.

@Changedname23
4 days ago

If his father has just died, he's going to be dealing with all kinds of awful feelings and things, you really need to get over yourself and just accept that his mind is not focused on you right now. Leave him alone.

Never ever chase anyone xx

Christ, his Dad just died and you're barely in a relationship with him. In the nicest possible way, you're way down his priority list right now.

Chuck him a couple of texts over the next week or so, ask him how he is, if he wants to talk.

If he's not responsive at all, then leave him be. If he comes back within a reasonable timeframe, then great, and sack him off if he doesn't.

When my Mum died, I barely wanted to be around anyone that first week, not even DP and DD. I sucked it up for DD because she was 9 and wouldn't understand, but DP got it completely, made sure life around me ran smoothly, offered company and sympathy when I wanted it, and left me alone when I didn't.

I wouldn't have wanted to be that vulnerable with someone I'd only been dating a few months, and would probably have gone a lot more radio silent than your bloke has.

He's down graded you too acquaintance x

If you really do like him then ring him for a good old adult conversation. If you want things to move forward with him you need to speak about it, or at least guage how he is in conversation.
It seems like he has other things on his mind. Whether that's other women, or just life in general who knows. If he won't give you any straight talk then just forget him. After one attempt dont waste any further effort.

Honestly OP, if I'd just had a major bereavement, or frankly a headache, I don't think I could cope with your level of intensity. Just back off, and while you're at it, take a break from social media. This all just batshit crazy.

I think there have been a lot of very mixed responses but it's a new relationship, you want to keep your dignity but presumably establish where you stand. Hence suggesting you're the one to do that in a kind but clear way. As in 'i know you have a lot on and I'm not too clear how things have been left but I'd rather draw a line so there's no confusion. You've got an awful lot on your plate which I understand so am here if you want to talk but this would be as friends. Wishing you all the best'.

Obviously in an established relationship you allow space for a bereavement but if you're left looking for meaning in tiktok statuses and afraid to get in touch I would say there's probably been some interest at some point but it isn't an enduring connection or the right relationship for you. If you're able to wait it out, fine. But if that's upsetting you, I'd draw a line. It also prevents any possible mess if you get back out there.

@ChristmasRoses
I haven't blown up his phone or anything ,I have contacted him every few days to see how he is and nothing more,very basic convo.
It looks intense only in my mind