To be concerned about this member of staff at the nursery??

[RaspberryJammy]

I work in a nursery and I’m starting to get concerns about a member of staff. I never see her interacting with the children really or doing very much. When they are crying she tells them ‘you can have a cuddle but only if you stop that crying, I don’t want to hear it’. She is quite harsh with them. She’s also quite rough when trying to steer them away from something, just pretty much grabs them and pushes them away and I’ve heard her raise her voice quite a lot at them, pretty much shouting. When of the little boys today was upset and she said his cry was ‘pathetic’. She seems to have no sense of wanting to comfort them or see what’s wrong, she just gets frustrated at them. Aibu to feel she is being harsh and have concerns?

I agree with this. It's clear OP has concerns but others working in the nursery seem to be accepting of the behaviour of the person she is concerned about. So how do you, as a new employee, raise the issue in that culture - not very easily in my experience. Many new employees, whatever their workplace, would put their head down and say nothing. This OP is asking for help to decide what to do. Good on her

Fair enough.

But she should be trained to know what to do.

OP remember that safeguarding is make or break for nurseries if you need something to help you be brave. The DSL will have to take action and be able to evidence they have taken action. If not, they risk the nursery being closed by Ofsted. In your shoes, I would make a note of your encounter with the DSL for your own records.

You need to speak to the manager and safeguarding lead.

I also suggest you update your own safeguarding training seeing as you haven't reported it already. It's neglectful

Of couse but it's easier said than done in my experience (unfortunately). The person doung the "wrong" things should also be trained to "do the right thing" but they aren't. Workplace culture is a difficult thing to overcome (sadly)

I worked as a DSL in the past and it is VERY common even for highly trained, competent, caring staff, to struggle to make the decision to report when a colleague is involved.

It's very easy to see that something needs reporting when you hear about it from the outside, but when you are there and know the people involved, especially if you are less experienced than them, it can be hard - I think because we are conditioned to trust our team mates, so at first you can't quite believe the evidence of your own eyes.

OP has made a wise decision to post here so that she can gain reassurance and support that what she is doing is right. I think we should applaud her for identifying this and being willing to bring it to light, not criticise her because she wanted to check her decision anonymously first.....

What if a woman in OP's decision didn't dare post in future, because of all the cries of "why did you post this, why don't you know?". So they just stay silent and a child gets harmed .....

OP, You are the one who has the power to stop this child being abused because that's exactly what it is. In turn, you will also help protect other children.
Everything you have listed is disgusting behaviour from a childcare practitioner. I know it has been normalised in your setting but I am telling you now, it is not OK. Trust me, you will sleep easier at night knowing you did the right thing.

This. Absolutely.

I worked in childcare a long time ago with a woman like this. She was quite aggressive with staff too if you weren't one of her favourites. She got sacked for smacking a child across the head. in the end. It wasn't a proper smack, it was more of an exaggerated gesture with a soft tap but it was unacceptable and her cold, rough manner of the children really went against her. Everyone suddenly started to speak up where before everyone was too afraid. Go straight to your manager and if they don't do anything then you need to go to head office.

Report to DSL, and if they do nothing, go to LADO. I hope you've had safeguarding training so know this already. It's not acceptable and "workplace culture" is not an excuse for mistreating children.

Or go straight to ofsted

If you don’t feel that the manager takes the issue seriously you can escalate to the LADO yourself.

Err…well have you reported it?? Instead of posting it on a forum? What’s this staff member to you? Surely you don’t owe them anything.

I won't take the blame for someone else in the future not reporting so don't try that nonsense. The children don't have the liberty of knowing they are safe. They feel upset and cannot advocate for themselves.

Nobody says workplace culture is an acceptable excuse to mistreat children. What has been said is, it's difficult as a young new employee to realise the culture of your new workplace seems to tolerate an employee who's been there longer than you not treating the children appropriately. I think OP (the new employee) appears to realise the behaviour of her "colleague" is unacceptable, probably doesn't understand why it has been tolerated and not addressed previously, and wants to protect the children but wants people to reassure her what she should do for the best. She could have just kept her head down and said nothing. She could have just left for another employer and left the children under this other person. She hasn't. She's came on here seeking advice/reassurance. It is all well and good telling people to become the one who puts their head above the parapet in a workplace that appears to tolerate inappropriate behaviour if you are not the one in the position. I think OP should be thanked for caring about the children enough to reach out for help/reassurance

I agree @GranPepper

Well done for posting on here, and getting the reassurance you need, to report this woman immediately. You will have done safeguarding training, but sometimes it is difficult to put principles into practice the minute you see something disturbing.

Thanks. Appreciated

Hi OP, if you feel you can’t report to the manager/DSL then please report to the local authority.

Op, Ignore the snide comments and listen to @Ilovelurchers and others who are saying that it is unacceptable behaviour from the staff member and does need reporting but who also recognise that this can be difficult for a new or part time member, especially if others seem to tolerate the behaviour and who understand why you posted in here first.

Please report this. As others have said: it is critical for the children in her care as these are some red flags, but also report it because your co-worker might be struggling and need some extra support. If she is struggling with depression or something she may be unaware of her deteriorating care standards.
This isn't about getting anyone into trouble. It is about protecting everyone involved.

I'm a nurse and absolutely would report someone if I heard them speaking to someone they are caring for with such disrespect. I have been in this situation during personal care and I asked the person to immediately step out and swap with another rather than letting the abuse continue, then reported them.

If you don’t report this, you are complicit.
Surely you have been trained in raising safeguarding concerns??

I'm not sure that's helpful, sorry. This is a new employee in a workplace where others are apparently tolerating the behaviour. OP has reached out for advice/reassurance. Have any of the others?