Tongue piercing

[Claire903]

I've been on a few dates with someone.
It was going well. I had honestly given up on meeting someone, so was pleasantly surprised and enjoying spending time with him.

Then on Friday we went out and both probably had too much too drink. He said some hurtful things that I remember about my tongue piercing. He delivered it in a jokey way but said that I only have a tongue piercing for giving fellatio and I must be really good at it.

He then went on to ask if I wear it in work. When I said yes, he said I shouldn't wear it in a professional environment. Now I'm worried that he's right and people will judge me and think the same as him.

I haven't talked to him about what he said. Should I just completely cut him off? or do I give him another chance and put it down to the alcohol? And is he right?!

A pierced tongue wouldn’t bother me professionally, but it’s up to you if that’s the sort of bloke you want or not.

He doesn't sound very nice.

As an aside, what does your dentist say about your piercing?

@RampantIvy It feels like it was out of character, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. Dentist just asks if I clean it 3 times per day, which I do, hasn't discouraged me to have it.

No-one should be telling you what you should and shouldn't wear, especially when you're only in the "few dates" stage. Red flag.

Keep your piercing and ditch the arsehole. Why you would let anyone speak to you like that is beyond me. Raise your standards because you deserve better.

Sounds like a right dick. I’d bin them frankly. Save yourself grief in the longer term.

While I don’t have one myself, nothing wrong with them in general or in professional environments. It’s obviously a ‘him problem’, as he thinks someone would only get one for sexual purposes and in his (odd/deformed) mind thinks every guy in your work environment is thinking you must be gagging with excitement wanting to give them a blow job. Just label him with a L and move on.

You don’t know someone’s character after a few dates. He’s showing you his character.

Thanks I was kind of caught off guard on the night but had time to reflect now

@HoppingPavlova aw thanks yeah I think you are right, I'll just move on. It's a shame, I'm beginning to think there's nobody worth it out there.

Your comment made me laugh a bit as well though so thanks for that

@Didimum yep well hes showing it, maybe alcohol brought it out

It's fine for him not to like it but the way he expressed that was out of order.

God he sounds awful.

I had my tongue pierced at 18, took it out at 38. Not once in 20 years have anyone dared to say something like that to me. Throw the whole man in a bin.

It's people's perceptions he doesn't like. He must of liked it when he was begging me to go back to his on Friday. I didn't btw

How's it been since having it out, did it take a bit to get used to?
I've had comments like that before, though not many and not from someone that I was dating.

even now, 5 years later I occasionally try to find it with my teeth 😂. But no, it’s been fairly easy to get used to not having it.
Honestly, the only comments I got were from young children asking me to stick my tongue out. If someone though something privately in their head, thankfully they had sense not to verbalise it.

How ridiculous. I wouldn't bother with him again.

Him not you

Bluntly, this is exactly why people end up in shitty relationships. They excuse the inexcusable.

Why on earth would you want to continue dating someone who criticises your choices around your appearance and tells you what you should/shouldn't do 'in a professional environment', let alone tells you that you only got it so you could give better blow-jobs?

He doesn't have any respect for you and he's a neggy, controlling prick. Seriously, dump him.

Completely disrespectful of him to criticise your appearance and make assumptions about why you got the piercing.

Haha could imagine it feeling strange once removed. I've received comments about it over the years but more just on nights out from people I chatted to when I was in my 20's/early 30s.

@EmotionalSupportPotato thanks for your comments. I messaged him last night saying we should stop seeing other!

@ItGhoul I have done, I feel better for it as well. Thanks for giving men that nudge in the right direction

@EmotionalSupportPotato exactly. That's why I had to nip it in the bud straight away before I got majorly emotionally invested