Aibu to stop this multiple Christmas day madness?

[Sugargliderwombat]

So we have toddlers and babies in the family now, and we seem to be settling into a routine that I think is odd but wondering if IABU to basically stop the tradition from next year.

To account for multiple adults who work over Christmas (none of whom have children) we seem to have ended up doing 3 seperate Christmas days that cater for them. So my side I have to do boxing day, my OH side is Christmas eve and then Christmas day on our own. But instead of being them joining in with Christmas eve or boxing day we are doing 3 full bloody Christmases, that is madness going forwards, right?

I grew up doing double Christmas and loved it!

my mum always does a huge buffet party on Christmas Eve - invites all the friends/family/neighbours over after going to church and we would get to stay up late (was and still is my favourite day of the year)

Christmas Day at home with my grandparents staying

Boxing Day - over to my grandparents on the other side of the family for Boxing Day with cousins/uncles/that side of the family. Christmas dinner again!

we host Boxing Day now my grandparents are older, and have ILs over as well

I bloody love it

Drinks party & nibbles or snacks. Simple. I certainly couldn't be bothered with all that celebrating.

You'd be mad to make a full Christmas roast dinner on Christmas Day itself if you're having one on Christmas eve with the inlaws and hosting one Boxing Day for your side of the family.

Party food an d snacks on CHristmas day when it's just you, DH and the children. It will make a nice break.

We don't do Christmas Eve, but have always had big dinners on Christmas Day (always at home) and Boxing Day (away). However, you need to keep Christmas Day special surely? How about accepting the pressies for the kids beforehand but not opening them until Christmas Day. Also as others have said, Christmas Day is the big traditional spread and the other days are more relaxed.

I’m a bit jealous you have a fridge big enough to store three turkeys 😂

Honestly - I think if you have you Christmas dinner with in-laws on Christmas Eve.

Have a chilled day - no massive cooking on Christmas Day - just any easy food you fancy - more time to spend with the kids, not have to wrestle them away from their presents, have a pj day.

Then even if you have another full Xmas dinner on the Boxing Day - at least you've had a break from Xmas dinner for perhaps change up the meat so it's a bit different.

Sounds ideal!

We always had two 'Christmas Day's as kids - Christmas Day with my Mum's side and then Boxing Day with my Dad's side.

No one worked Christmas it was just easier to give a day to each side.

If I were you, and you want to do the Santa thing, I'd do no presents for kids on Christmas Eve (they can be left with you to hand out on Christmas morning), no Christmas Dinner on Christmas Day - do a more picky food lunch/dinner, and then Boxing Day grandparents can bring over gifts (with a 'Santa left these at my house for you' excuse) and have a second Christmas dinner that day.

She's not cooking all the meals! She's only hosting one of them.

See my post above. OP 's not hosting them all! She's eating the Christmas roast at three different places.

Having multiple Christmas Days is madness. Eve/Day/Boxing Day are all perfectly nice days on their own, and people who work over Christmas should just join in with whatever they can - that's what our family do, anyway.

But what about the Boxing Day buffet?? Does nobody care about the buffet?

Buffet sounds wonderful idea. Lots of lovely picky bits (charcuterie, mini pizzas, pigs in blankets, samosas etc) in Aldi at the moment. Some chocolate log, mulled wine and/or cocktail mixers and you're all sorted!

My adult brother quite often has to work Christmas - mum usually plates him up a dinner and gives it to SIL (who Christmases with my parents regardless), to take home. He then fits in with whatever the family / extended family wants to do on the days he's not working, such as Boxing Day.

I don't think any arrangement is wrong, but if it doesn't work for you personally, the family should find something that's a compromise for everyone. Maybe if this year has already been agreed, then go along with the plans but say next year you'd like something a bit less full on.

Not read the thread but no it's not normal or ideal. One person/family hosts Christmas day and that's " the Christmas Day" regardless of what day it might be.

Then everyone else involved does their own thing on whatever days they want. There's no need to invite everyone round if you've done Christmas a week early because people are leaving the country/working etc.

Christmas dinners on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, and a lovely, quiet day in between sounds wonderful to me. You could start your very own unique-to-your-family traditions for Christmas Day. Presents from Santa first thing - silly stuff, put some imagination into Christmas-stocking-type gifts. Then a long, lingering turkey sandwich brunch. A walk in the afternoon if your DC are up for that, or watch a film all together like in ye olden days. An evening in pyjamas picking at leftovers and prepping the Christmas dinner for the next day.

It’s totally normal to celebrate with family (whether they work or not) across all 3 days. But only one of those days is Christmas. On Christmas, we do the big Christmas lunch and we do opening stockings and presents.

Christmas Eve is Chinese food (no presents) and Boxing Day is leftovers, possibly a ham, cheese and crackers, presents opened from anyone who hasn’t been around for Christmas Day. We host all 3 days for complex and annoying reasons. I’m not cooking 3 bloody Christmas lunches!

Well I think that’s awful! I understand wanting to be in your own little family unit for Christmas sometimes, absolutely, and you shouldn’t feel you don’t have the right to do that. However not at the expense of a parent or other loved family member being on their own. I’d only suggest that if I knew my parent had somewhere else to go, eg another child, a sibling, cousin etc who would invite them. The least they could do is have Christmas morning as a family then invite you for lunch (or maybe a late afternoon Christmas dinner). I think you are within your rights to say you’d love to see them at some point in the day, especially as you were on your own last year as well. I feel bad for you.

I care 😋

Yay! A bunch of frozen food warmed up in the oven.

Not so bad when you’ve already enjoyed a lovely roast one day. Pretty depressing if you’ve been working through Christmas up to that point.

That's a good point, I hadn't considered the other side.

Going out on boxing day for main meal would be a solution perhaps ? Toby Carvery?

I don’t think I would be up for 3 Christmas roasts in a row. The easiest thing is to change your Christmas meal on the day to something else easier/lighter whatever. I know a lot of people especially with young children now make the big meal on Christmas Eve and eat leftovers/buffet on Christmas Day so they can enjoy the day opening presents, playing with the new toys and watching films with their kids rather than spending hours in the kitchen.

I haven't voted I'm afraid!
When I was little (in France) we had 5 Christmas lunches between dec 20 and January 6, as every auntie and everyone else's grandma competed for the gigantiquest slap-up of the season.
But santa klaus didn't visit them all, just my home on Christmas morning for some unfair reason 😆
There were family presents from grandmothers (just the two!) and very different traditions- not the same kind of toys, rituals and signs of affection from one grandmother to the other.
Fast forward to these practical times where my brother, sisters and I are hundreds of miles and two countries apart. Christmas is altogether with my mum and dad every other year, then off to all our respective in-laws the next. So every other Christmas is quiet.

Which doesn't solve your problem. At one level, if you have your children, i-Ls and grandchildren for a Christmas (or thereabouts) and exchange presents, what do you care if they go off to do it again in your i-Ls family? I'd identify more precisely where the niggle is. If it's negotiating dates each time- make communication as easy as poss, get every adult in an email or WhatsApp huddle to set out constraints and pick dares. If it's the work or finances, ask for help - e.g. you bring desert, etc. If it's the shower of presents, how about secret santa for the grown-ups. But if it's "I'm Mrs klaus, she shouldn't be", then yabu, do your Christmas, your grandkids have two more grandparents who love them too.

We have 3 Christmas days to accommodate different family members. It's exhausting but also lovely.

There was one year when we had my DPs on Xmas Day and DMIL on Boxing Day with roast dinners (but different meat) on both days. (MIL went to her daughter on Xmas Day).
But that was just one year, and after that, I refused to do two roast dinners on consecutive days, as I already had a lot of turkey from Xmas Day.
If you have to host meals on various days, I would make it something different, eg a Buffet, or something else.

Crazy!! Children over the age of about three will know that Christmas is one day. Yes - you can go to granny's for Xmas Eve, and Aunty's for Boxing Day, and may get family presents (as opposed to Santa presents) but the food can be anything.

The biggest problem is people who tell their DCs that all presents are from FC. Make sure they know that small things and stockings are from Santa, and the rest are from friends and family. Then there is no issue with spreading them out over a few days, and family get thanked for their gifts.

Spread the festivities - but don't pretend that Christmas Day is happening over and over....