To ask if you'd leave your children alone?

[Iceache]

They are in Y4 and Y7. I happily leave my Y7 child alone in the house (he also walks to and from school alone and goes out locally with friends to the park and on bike rides). I’ve never left my Y4 child alone and wouldn’t, although I will leave the two of them to pop to the shop at the end of our road. My question is this:

Would you leave two children that age for a couple of hours if you were going to be in the neighbours’ house (next door but one). We have been invited for Christmas drinks and I’m trying to work out if I should ask my mum to come round for a couple of hours instead, or leave them at home (my elder boy has a phone and they don’t really fight - they get on brilliantly and spend most evenings playing together), with one of us popping back occasionally to check on them. Interested to see what the average opinion is here!

I would. But bear in mind that I come from a country where this would be seen as normal.

I don’t see a problem with that at all.

I think that sounds fine

I would if they were up watching tele but not in bed.

If it's, say, 2pm to 4pm and your just next door but one, I'd say that's fine. They can pop.round if they need you, or ring you.

If it's 8pm to 10pm, then no. Especially not if I was planning on having a drink. At that hour I'd leave a yr 7 and yr 9 maybe, but not a yr 4. No.

That sounds fine tho are the kids not friends with the neighbours kids? Usually when we do something like that the kids come aswell or camp out in one of the houses

How old are they? (different school years in Scotland)

Assuming the houses are close together and next door but one means a very short distance, I think that would be okay. Maybe they get a check every half hour? Full disclosure - my kids aren't yet that age and I might feel differently then, I suppose.

Yr 4 is 8 to 9.
Yr 7 is 11 to 12

It very much depends on the individual children, there are such differences is developmental rates. I don’t think I’d have left mine at that age (same age gap as yours), but wouldn’t be judgemental if someone else did. Do they have mobile phones to be able to communicate with you freely? I think I’d want the youngest to have access to phone independently of the eldest in this situation, just in case they disagree.

Yes as long as they understand to ring me or both (together) come and find me if anyone serious happened.

I'd probably set them up with a nice movie and some treats and make it fun for them too so they don't ruin it by coming up the neighbours house and finding you because they are bored

I think they're old enough for that if you know they'll be fine. One of my DC is a lot more responsible than another, but they're still fine as long as they're doing screen time. Too much chance two of them would get into an argument if doing things like art or boardgames. It's really about whether you think they'd be fine. I dont leave them alone after dark, but given your close proximity I think that'd be more ok.

I think it's fine as long as they're awake. I wouldn't put them to bed and then go out. It's a good way to start giving them some independence.

I would if checking back regularly and if they are parked in front of TV or in bed asleep.

Yes I probably would if they are sensible and you're so close.

I'd go with this too x

Your talking about an 8/9 year old (y4) and 12/13 (y7). Yes if you feel they are sensible. Your two doors away. Id probably leave them your phone too and text regularly/nip home every hour

I'm quite surprised everyone would leave an 8/9 year old at night! I thought i was being a bit maverick leaving my 8 yr old for an hour while I took his brother swimming! But leaving him at home alone, with just his 11 yr old brother, at night, I wouldn't have done!

(I'm fairly sure there have been threads like this before where people have said they leave their 8/9 yr old and people have come on quoting nspcc guidelines and how the 11yr old isn't old enough to take responsibility etc...)

Yr 7 is1 first year of secondary - 11/12

(yr 8 is 12/13)

I agree with others, depends on the children but I would say fine during the day but not in the evening.

They’re not old enough to have to put themselves to bed - esp the younger one - so definitely not across their bedtime. But I also wouldn’t leave them in the house asleep alone. During the day with a movie and treats should be absolutely fine.

Yeah I probably would, you're very close and I'd probably pop back a couple of times to check on them and make sure they know to ring you if they need you.

This. To me it is considered so normal that I wouldn't question it.

Mine are y5 &y7 and I couldn’t leave them alone together. The y5 would be dead within the hour 🙈
I leave the y7 for an hour or two on occasion, but never with his sister.

Just out of interest, those who say you would leave them during the day but not at bed time or in the evening, why is that? It seems safer to me to leave child at home in bed with doors locked etc. than leaving them running around setting fires to the living room carpet or washing a cat and drying it in a microwave... What's the rationale behind daytime being safer?

I used to babysit at your older child's age. It wouldn't bother me at all but I would put some rules in place and be home early.