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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have been depressed after my wedding?!

62 replies

FluentDog · 23/11/2024 23:11

So today is our 3 year anniversary. Very happily married and we now have a baby. But I can’t help and think back to our wedding day and how much of a let down it was. I feel like growing up girls are given this idea that their wedding day will be the best day of their lives but honestly I couldn’t wait for the day to be over! I felt really on edge like all these people were here for us I felt the need to entertain them make sure they had drinks and I was constantly worried people were bored. I remember sitting at the top table after finishing our food thinking right do we need to go and make our way through the tables now and speak to everyone or do we stay here and they come to us? This was my mind the whole day just questioning what I should be doing, I don’t think I was relaxed at any point during the whole thing. A few guests left around 8pm which in my mind meant that yes everyone is definitely bored and wants to go home! After the wedding finished I was really quite depressed for a few days because I felt like something was wrong with me, everyone else loves their wedding day but why didn’t I?! Even now I still can’t watch our wedding video.. despite the day not being what I thought it would be we are happily married and all is well but I was just wondering if anyone else felt the same on their day or is it just me?

OP posts:
FluentDog · 24/11/2024 00:08

ForGreyKoala · 24/11/2024 00:00

That's how my first marriage was. Not everyone is into the "bullshit".

Like we invited cousins we’d not seen for years…WHY?! So then I was really nervous because wtf do you say to people you never see lol!! 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
FluentDog · 24/11/2024 00:10

Janpoppy · 24/11/2024 00:06

Hi OP, thank goodness you've had a couple of posters who are the authorities on what you are and aren't allowed to feel 😂

But actually, it does suggest that having regrets about ones wedding might be a taboo topic, kind of like admitting you don't enjoy being a parent. So it is possible more people have regrets about their wedding day than the number of people who would care to admit it.

I know haha you alway get them on here 🤣🤣

I think it’s definitely a taboo topic! My husband knows my real feelings about it but no one else does in real life! I feel to guilty to tell people it wasn’t all that. Especially my parents / husbands parents I would never ever tell because they really helped us out financially with it. But it’s good to express your true feelings to people online who have no idea who you actually are haha!

OP posts:
TheMaenads · 24/11/2024 00:17

Janpoppy · 24/11/2024 00:06

Hi OP, thank goodness you've had a couple of posters who are the authorities on what you are and aren't allowed to feel 😂

But actually, it does suggest that having regrets about ones wedding might be a taboo topic, kind of like admitting you don't enjoy being a parent. So it is possible more people have regrets about their wedding day than the number of people who would care to admit it.

It’s not remotely ‘taboo’. It’s essentially saying you didn’t enjoy a party you’d organised. I have literally met anyone who thought their wedding was the best day of their lives, or supposed to be. It’s just a wedding industry nonsense.

FluentDog · 24/11/2024 00:20

TheMaenads · 24/11/2024 00:17

It’s not remotely ‘taboo’. It’s essentially saying you didn’t enjoy a party you’d organised. I have literally met anyone who thought their wedding was the best day of their lives, or supposed to be. It’s just a wedding industry nonsense.

My experiences have been very different. I do feel it’s a very taboo subject and I’ve never met anyone IRL who feels the way I do

OP posts:
Noseybookworm · 24/11/2024 00:35

I wasn't one of those little girls who dreamed about their big day - I never thought about getting married at all! I had a small wedding (registry office) and wore an ivory silk suit that my mum made. Didn't want a big fancy wedding dress and to be walked down the aisle and 'given away' 🤮 I enjoyed bits of the day but I was glad when it was over - I didn't like all the fuss and hate being the centre of attention. I haven't dwelled on the wedding day - it's just a day. It was the being married that was important to me - looking back I'd probably have been happier if it was just me & DH at the registry office and a nice lunch after! Just focus on the marriage and forget the wedding day - we're still married 35 years later!

Tubs11 · 24/11/2024 00:46

Was there any part of the day you actually enjoyed? I dreaded my wedding day and I didn't love the day, but I did love the ceremony, there was a lot of love in the church and I could feel it. Anything like that you can remember and focus on? It is just one day. I'd rather a crappy wedding day and beautiful marriage anyday. That's where the real memories are created

dottydaily · 24/11/2024 00:46

I feel the same about my wedding day..I can’t look at photos etc…was a let down for me personally…I do love my husband and am so happy we made the commitment.but I truely understand how you feel…my experience was horrible and I spend years very low about it,I still do..it should be or you are lead to believe it should be a day to fondly remember..it was not my experience and I have struggled with that..noemi try to brush it off and be grateful for my partner.

Ponderingwindow · 24/11/2024 00:51

for Previous generations, weddings were hosted by the parents and the bride and groom were simply the guests of honor. That meant that the happy couple got little say in the big day, but they also didn’t have the pressure of being the hosts of an elaborate celebration. The shift to couples planning and hosting their own weddings means they get what they want for the party, but it comes at the cost of being able to focus on themselves.

FluentDog · 24/11/2024 00:55

Ponderingwindow · 24/11/2024 00:51

for Previous generations, weddings were hosted by the parents and the bride and groom were simply the guests of honor. That meant that the happy couple got little say in the big day, but they also didn’t have the pressure of being the hosts of an elaborate celebration. The shift to couples planning and hosting their own weddings means they get what they want for the party, but it comes at the cost of being able to focus on themselves.

I think this really sums it up! I would never admit it to anyone I know but we went to a wedding 4 months before our own and I had so much of a better time at that wedding than my own because there was absolutely zero pressure on me I had no part in the wedding I was simply a guest and it was a brilliant day. The sun was out drinks flowing, live band, plenty of food. Everything we had but minus any sort of pressure to act a certain way or speak to certain people etc

OP posts:
FluentDog · 24/11/2024 00:59

Tubs11 · 24/11/2024 00:46

Was there any part of the day you actually enjoyed? I dreaded my wedding day and I didn't love the day, but I did love the ceremony, there was a lot of love in the church and I could feel it. Anything like that you can remember and focus on? It is just one day. I'd rather a crappy wedding day and beautiful marriage anyday. That's where the real memories are created

The ceremony was lovely we had a live acoustic set whilst I walked down the aisle. The food was gorgeous too and the setting was lovely. I would have absolutely loved the whole thing if I was just a guest 🤣🤣

OP posts:
grafittiartist · 24/11/2024 01:11

I get it.
Recently had a party for a significant birthday.
Can't admit to anyone that I just didn't enjoy it.
Too much pressure both before and on the night. I cringe thinking about it.
And the thought of the money that was spent- we didn't go mad, but could have had a little break for the same amount of.

PyongyangKipperbang · 24/11/2024 01:25

Modern (social media to a great extent) pressure has made weddings such a big thing that the post wedding crash is very common.

For most modern couples, their wedding is the single most expensive bash they will ever throw. And then you have all the expectations of the dress, the look, the feel, the theme etc. My sister celebrated her 25th anniversary with her husband this last summer and I remember her wedding well....for the wrong reasons! She was a complete bridezilla, her DH was a groomzilla and our mother was unbearable....motherzilla of the bridezilla I guess!

They all went totally flat in the weeks after the wedding. All of their focus for the previous two years had been on THE WEDDING and after THE WEDDING had happened, they had nothing.

Although 3 years is a long time to still be holding on to this, which makes me wonder if there is something else about this that is getting to you and you are attaching it to the day.

MediumDwarf · 24/11/2024 01:43

I hear you OP!

My husband and I had a registry office ceremony with our parents, followed by a 60ish wedding party on the Saturday with family and friends.

Hand on heart I feel the same as you. I did enjoy the Saturday party, but there were so many things I found still bother me now. Also close to 3 years.

I was so excited to see my fiancé's face when he first saw me and my father walking down the aisle. This is my favourite part of other peoples weddings, I always look at the groom when the bride first arrives to see his happy face, then admire her dress properly.
Sadly I didn’t get to as a guest had unexpectedly decided to bring their children, they were sat at the back, I assume to allow an escape if needed. They were the first people I saw as I walked in so all I could think in that initial second was oh god we have no food or entertainment for these kids! I am so angry with myself that I let it take over that moment but there we go. It wasn't a lingering thought, but I missed his first look at me as I was staring at them. Hopefully
not with a look of horror on my face 😂

Best man was trying to be helpful, but took it upon himself to reorganise the entire table plan to accommodate these additional guests. We had hired an MC so he didn’t need to do anything, the staff would have coped if he had just asked for help. This unfortunately caused total chaos for everyone as the table plan then didn’t make sense and the staff didnt know he had changed things, or that they had more people to feed. Not a big deal initially but the kitchen were then stressed as people took ages going to their seats. This lead to rushed speeches and stressed my dad.

My bridesmaids had bought me a flower preservation gift, but one was so stressed about the flowers being perfect that she took my bouquet off me and put it in water as soon as we entered the drinks reception. I was talking and it kind of vanished from my hand without me clocking where she was taking it, the result though was when we went for our photoshoot I couldn’t take my bouquet as it was soaking wet. Luckily my other bridesmaid was still carrying hers around and so I used hers. But it was different flowers and looks quite small in the pictures. We only had a handful, but I obviously think of that when I look at them.

During the party later in the evening the unexpected children grew bored, best man decided to take them and their parents to a club room off the main area of the party. This was fine, except the main group who know them all went too, so we then had two rooms of people. It was a small event of 60 people anyway but it made the main room feel so empty. Really ruined for me what was the main part as I was unaware of what had happened at the time so it appeared that lots of people had just left super early. That’s the bit that made me really sad. It was only 7:30 and it felt like the party was over before the evening food had even been served. They flitted around in drips and drabs but it totally killed the atmosphere to have such a large space but two bars open.

i am aware these are all small things in the scheme of things, but we deliberately had a low key small wedding to avoid the drama of organising and coordinating. But then the tiny few things we did actually want, a few photos, an intimate party and smooth day were ruined but unfortunate circumstances.

I was on a high from the celebrations for sure, but when I look back these overshadow some of the joy.

It’s not something either of us would ever mention in real life as people were doing what they thought was right at the time with the best intentions and I wouldn’t want them to think we were ungrateful.

I would say though, if you haven’t checked your children are definitely invited. Please just ask the couple. Our upset would have mostly been avoided if they had just asked us if they could bring them, none of our friends or family have brought their children to weddings before, their names werent on the invites so it was a massive very disruptive oversight!’

severyyhv · 24/11/2024 05:50

We ideally only have one wedding. You planned the wedding you wanted. But it put a lot of pressure on you and as a result you didn't enjoy it. That's ok, if you do a vow renewal plan it differently

housemaus · 24/11/2024 06:36

I think unless you're the kind of person who loves hosting and doesn't mind being the centre of attention (and/or have a very good wedding coordinator) then I'm surprised more people don't feel like that.

Most people never host a 50/100/150 person event with all the stress that brings and honestly being in a room where you're the main focus of everyone there while managing any interfamily or friend relationships, have everyone want to talk to you, etc... well it seems obviously stressful, my only slight YABU is that you expected it not to be. I had a 20-person town hall wedding and a meal because the thought of doing all that made me think I wouldn't enjoy it at all. But you're just as married at the end of it, which is the point! As long as that part is good then you're lucky and that's all that should matter :)

Lastchristmasigaveyoumysausageroll · 24/11/2024 07:03

I couldn’t not reply to you op.
Your post sounds exactly like something I could have written. I kind of grieved for sometime after my wedding because it wasn’t ‘the best day of my life’ like I anticipated it to be. But I think that’s where the problem is, we’re sold this idea it should be and will be the best day ever. I was an anxious, tired wreck on our day and felt very self conscious. And just generally worrying about everyone else.

I’m a few years on now and don’t feel so negatively about it and I’m still happily married, which is the main point of a wedding.

And one last thing I occasionally think and have said to others who have agreed, in all my years of living, it would be a sad life lived if I only had one best day. I’ve had many best days in my years and hopefully many more best days to come.

peanutmother · 24/11/2024 07:25

I didn't think people actually enjoy their own wedding?

Im not married. I've always assumed it would be unnecessarily stressful and expensive

peepsquick · 24/11/2024 08:02

I didn't like my wedding. I did it all wrong, made some terrible decisions and just generally can't look back on it with any joy. But I wasn't depressed about it, I was relieved it was over and felt such a feeling of....belonging? Completeness? To be married to my DH, my joy came from that. If I had my time again we'd elope, the wedding was shit, but the marriage is wonderful. I'd rather it that way round!

KimberleyClark · 24/11/2024 08:10

I think it’s normal to feel a bit flat after your wedding. Like post holiday blues after a big holiday or Christmas. You’ve been planning for this thing for months, it’s all you’ve really thought about, and then…..it’s over.

Eyeballpaula · 24/11/2024 08:13

You sound very thoughtful and conceintious of others - to your own detriment. Is this a theme for you in life?

I've always felt that it's an honour to have an invite to someone's wedding. No one ifsforced to attend. If you are a guest it's your job to turn up, look smart, join in the fun and it's up to you to find time to say hello to the bride and groom as they are so busy on the day.

Take the things you enjoyed about the day and lose the weight of others expectations.

glassof · 24/11/2024 08:19

Everything in the op is exactly why we eloped. My second wedding, his first.

Was relaxed, just us, did what we wanted!

I'm sorry your day was not everything you had hoped. It's so easy to sat 'move on'but so much emphasis is put on how it must be amazing

User19876536484 · 24/11/2024 08:31

peanutmother · 24/11/2024 07:25

I didn't think people actually enjoy their own wedding?

Im not married. I've always assumed it would be unnecessarily stressful and expensive

I did. Every minute of it. Proper planning and help from my extended family removed the stress. Likewise it reduced the costs.

We didn’t need an outside venue so it meant preparation could be leisurely. It wasn’t all focused on one day.

Doveyouknow · 24/11/2024 08:37

I found being responsible for a big event and lots of guests stressful and couldn't really relax on my wedding day. It certainly wasn't the best day of my life. However getting married is one of the best things I have done so I don't look back at the day with sadness, I just see it as the start of something that has made me very happy.

Tbskejue · 24/11/2024 08:38

I regret spending so much money on one day. I also remember feeling relief it was all over with the next day as it’d been such a pressure

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 24/11/2024 08:38

Sorry to hear this. Sounds like you didn’t listen carefully enough to yourself and you didn’t have the wedding YOU wanted. Take it as a learning experience, less is maybe more where you’re concerned. So when your 40th comes around you probably won’t want a big party to celebrate.

Why don’t you plan a really special anniversary one year, just you two to make up for it. Holiday of a lifetime or something. Then in your head have that as your celebration of love and put your wedding day down to the pleasantries you had to cope with to keep everyone else happy.

I bet your experience of your wedding day isn’t the same as everyone else’s who attended.

Congrats on your anniversary and your little one. How lucky you are.

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