Holiday and friend.

[Speckyfourfries]

Planned a trip abroad next summer. Costing just under 1k each. My friend was very much up for this and helped choose dates and hotel etc. She couldn't afford to pay upfront so I have paid the full amount with the agreement she will pay me back a monthly amount, her first payment was due next week.
She has just text me to say she's really sorry but can't go now.
I would/will go alone but she's now thinking she doesn't have to pay me?
Aibu in still expecting the money?
I have no one else to go with but that's not the issue its the money, I've just looked and could get a partial refund for £460 for cancelling her share but should she still pay me what I've paid upfront for her ? Or do I get the partial refund and cut my losses :-(
I feel like such an idiot..

She is not going on the holiday because she has realised she can't afford it.

I doubt you will get anything from her, so brace yourself for the end of a friendship.

That's the reality I'm afraid.

But who knows, maybe she will pay up. But I really think if she could pay you, she would go anyway.

Absolutely she should have you what you’ll loose! I think that’s an awful thing for her to assume she doesn’t have to. Tell her the partial refund alone and she owes x amount

Of course she has to pay you!

If you're happy going on your own then ask her if she'd like you to go ahead and cancel her half where she can then get £480 back and can pay you the £520 over the same time period as previously agreed.

Of course she needs to pay you but she won't. She didn't pay so had no commitment to this holiday. People like this are awful.

She needs to pay you everything you can't get back.

You have no obligation to travel with a stranger that she 'finds' to replace her.

If she doesn't sort this, she's not a friend.

Just tell her you're not prepared to do that, she owes you the money and it's frankly ludicrous that she thinks you should put yourself out to find another person because it isn't you that has spent the money, nor do you want to holiday with some random if she finds someone.

You need to be really robust and clear now rhat she has spent the money and she owes you. You can set out her options, like you both cancel and she gets her money back, minus cancellation costs or she goes and pays. Her proposed options are not acceptable to you.

If she carries on pissing around, off to small claims court you shall go and she can risk owing legal fees on top.

Do you think you could get someone else to go with you? I mean your friend should have approached it differently 100%: She should have paid you anything of her half that wouldn't be refunded as soon as she told you she couldn't go, and offered to pay anything of your half that you couldn't get refunded if you decided not to go. If it's a holiday you would enjoy though, and you have another person you could enjoy it with, who would enjoy going with you and be happy to pay, why not? Everyone's a winner - you still get a holiday, with someone she likes, and she doesn't lose her money.

Hopefully you have the payment arrangements in writing.

Insist she pays for whatever you can't get refunded from your holiday provider.

The friendship would be over for me.

You could also send her this thread

That’s a really not nice thing to do :-(

feel for you OP.

As others have said you need to spell it out to her that you are not able to fully recovery her costs and that she owes you.

Depending on the terms and conditions have you looked into cancelling altogether? Maybe it will be more favourable and you can recover all of the cost? I’m guessing the holiday is not due to happen for some time if she was due to pay monthly.

You could always then rebook just you?

I think this is perfect.

Of course she needs to pay for her share.

Is it possible that she's pulled out because she actually can't afford to go?

She pays you, and if the place is filled, then that person pays her. Do you want to go with someone else?

Not op’s problem.

Not the OP’s issue. The friend pays whatever the OP can’t get refunded, and the OP learns a lesson in not subsidising friends who then feel uncommitted to whatever it is, because they haven’t paid a penny, and are more liable to pull out..

Tell her that as there is no one who will immediately pay her share you need to get a refund which means the second person part of the holiday will be cancelled. Therefore the option of someone paying her share if you were to find someone more reliable isn’t an option. She needs to pay you her share after the refund and you don’t want the uncertainty of monthly payments unless she can show you she has set up a standing order to your account.

She’s already shown you what as self serving arsehole she is so don’t be surprised if you lose both the money and the friendship

Update ... someone else is taking her place and has paid upfront for the change of names and what it has all cost etc

Yes think this was it but its resolved now

An unusual outcome on mn - a positive resolution. Well done.

That IS good news OP! I'm really pleased for you, but hope you'll think long and hard before continuing this 'friendship', as someone who will let you down like this really ISN'T a friend! Hope you enjoy the holiday when the time comes.

I’m glad for you @Speckyfourfries. Enjoy your trip.

Someone else that you know I presume, rather than someone the friend has chosen?!

The friendship is over so if none of these brilliant messages work take her to small claims court. Her name is on the bookings so she will be on the hook for the money.

great news! You should ask her to pay the fees for the change of names on the principle of it, and refund your friend who’s going with you.

Speckyfourfries · Today 10:02

Update ... someone else is taking her place and has paid upfront for the change of names and what it has all cost etc