Holiday and friend.

[Speckyfourfries]

Planned a trip abroad next summer. Costing just under 1k each. My friend was very much up for this and helped choose dates and hotel etc. She couldn't afford to pay upfront so I have paid the full amount with the agreement she will pay me back a monthly amount, her first payment was due next week.
She has just text me to say she's really sorry but can't go now.
I would/will go alone but she's now thinking she doesn't have to pay me?
Aibu in still expecting the money?
I have no one else to go with but that's not the issue its the money, I've just looked and could get a partial refund for £460 for cancelling her share but should she still pay me what I've paid upfront for her ? Or do I get the partial refund and cut my losses :-(
I feel like such an idiot..

Is she insane?

Claim the £480 refund back on her £1K share if you can, and then she should pay you back the remaining £520. If you can't get the £480 back then she should pay you back the full £1K.

I would tell her that she owes you the difference in what refund you can get for cancelling her place, and, if you do find someone to take her place on the holiday instead you will pay her back (monthly) 😉

I knew what was coming after the first couple of lines. She won't pay you.

Just respond as if it’s obvious she needs to pay you. ‘Oh what a shame you can’t come :( I’ve looked into it and can get £460 back luckily, so it’ll just be the other £460 that you owe me as it’s non-refundable.’

She should pay you what you can't get refunded, and then if she gets someone else to go instead, they can pay her the money she has given you.

She probably won't do that though. Don't pay upfront for someone like this again. This is going to be an expensive lesson for you, unfortunately.

@Ace56 perfect response.

She should pay but she probably won't. Ask her to make the payments as expected until one of you finds a replacement. Make a note of the last day you can get the partial refund at the current amount, and a week before ask her if she has found a replacement or wants to get the partial refund.

Send @Ace56 response but unfortunately I very much doubt you will ever see a penny. If the friendship is over anyway, you could explore whether you have grounds for small claims (I have no idea) if you have messages or anything proving you lent her the money with the expectation of repayment.

Perfect response.

You must be very clear with her - you are unable to find someone else to take her place and therefore she must pay the balance after you have had as much as possible refunded

You can choose to take her to small claims court for the money, especially if you have texts confirming this is a loan. The friendship is over. Sadly this isn’t the first thread about non paying ‘friends’ deciding they no longer want to go on holiday and washing their hands of the sums of money spent on their say so.

This is not your problem! She should be paying and IF you find someone to go then you can refund her.

I personally wouldn't leave the choice of replacing her, to her.
If you're sharing accommodation surely you want to at least know this person!
She owes you every penny you can't claim back.
In fact why doesn't she have insurance and what is her reason?

I would have to send her a message saying the following (or something very similar):
"Hi Friend - regarding the holiday in 2025 - I am submitting a cancellation as I could use the money rather than the holiday right now. As there is a cost to cancellation, and as you can no longer go on the holiday, your costs will be £XXX (the cost of the cancellation) so that I'm no longer out any money. I wouldn't have paid up front for your ticket had I even the slighted inkling that you would back out of the trip and I don't want to go with anyone else at this point. If you cannot afford to pay me the full amount in one go, I will accept 2 payments of £XXX (whatever it is in half to make two payments). My bank account details can be provided so that you can do an EFT of the money.
I don't want us to fall out over this so as soon as you can, get the money transferred to me.
Talk to you soon - @Speckyfourfries "

Reneging on a deal/contract will always come at a cost. Even if it's just a deposit to lose. If you have agreed to book a holiday and need to cancel there is more at stake than just money. I've been there. Going on a package alone may result in an extra single supplement, having someone who would happily replace your original travel buddy may mean a discount for them is the chance for them to go and for a chance to recoup favour

Of course she should pay what you can't claim back.

Unfortunately you have no way of enforcing it and a loan to a friend so often ends up this way.

As they say you should never lend money that you can't afford to lose

I'm SO sorry that your so called 'friend' has proved to be flakey OP. I agree with everyone else, she SHOULD pay you back anything that you can't get refunded, and you SHOULDN'T feel obliged to try and get someone else to take her place, as the holiday was planned with her, and not someone else who will be a poor second choice. Such a shame that your generosity in allowing her to pay you in instalments has backfired, but most of us make the mistake of loaning someone, something at some point, only to find ourselves bitten in the arse for doing so, it's a hard lesson to learn, but in my old Mum's words 'Never a lender nor borrower be'.

Who does she think is going to go with you instead of her ?

I'd do this.

Also is her reason for cancelling covered on any holiday insurance she may have?

Yanbu, tell her now that you can't get anyone and she will have to pay. Tell her that there is no other way. I can't believe that she is dumping this on you to sort out.

My sympathies, OP! I absolutely despise people like this - they really only care about themselves.

I would hound her (and her immediate family and friends) for the money, and once you get it, block her.

The friendship is dead anyway as she has made clear she has no respect for you, so get the money off her out of principle and then kick her to the kerb.

A PP phrased it correctly - she has borrowed money from you. She still owes it.

Yip, I would go with this op.
Of course she should pay!

I once had a holiday booked with friend A, but I was unable to travel due to family bereavement

Fortunately, friend B was keen to take my place. B paid something towards it, so B got a cheap holiday and I recouped some of my costs

I would never have expected A to be out of pocket

Yes she needs to pay her half.