If relationships had worked out I would have been

[isitsnowingyett]

• a gamekeeper's wife 😳
• a wife of an American military bod probably divorced
• living in a cottage in a small village in the Scottish Highlands
• living in Tennessee in a very Christian environment

How about you?

I'd either be living in rural Scotland with a fat bloke or living in rural Australia with an old bloke.

This has made me do a bit of googling and Facebook stalking.

1 I'd be the wife of a man owns a successful pharmaceutical business and by the look of social media would only see him when he wasn't out cycling ( he was an utter twat)

2 married to a liar if his Facebook page is anything to go by. Claims he is from a country I know he isn't from ( he spent two years there as a baby/toddler as his father was stationed abroad just after he was born) , claims he went to a uni I know he didn't go to - in fact he left school at 16 and never attended uni at all. No sign of what he does for a living but he was a low grade bank clerk when I was with him. I know he ended up working for his FIL in construction but the marriage failed after a couple of years so I doubt he kept his job. Lots of selfies at the gym and right wing memes. Lucky escape!

3 was a police officer when we were together but I can't find anything about him on the internet. Last saw him 32 years ago when I left our flat after an argument but had to track him down through a mutual friend 20 years ago so he could give me a reference because I was adopting a baby. That was weird.

Oooh!

• A farmers wife

• I have no idea, divorced and his life turned to shit, would it have had I stayed?

• living with an alcoholic and miserable as sin. Actually I got out so perhaps not.

• a carer for a much older DP.

Am now very happily married to my ideal man and have been for 30 odd years.

• Living in Dublin, with a peacekeeper husband in Lebanon. Very happily married (if the military or life in general hasn’t changed him too much), he was such a great guy in every way.

• Living in Rome (back to England eventually), ex-Catholic priest for a husband. Happy in some ways but pretty miserable overall. He was not very emotionally mature, and I would be the one doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc.

• a stay at home wife who was never allowed to pursue her dreams

• rich

Or

• a very sad lonely person with multiple kids who was never allowed to leave an abusive marriage (every time I tried to leave he wanted another baby)

Married for 35 years instead of divorced after 20

How old are you OP?

I assume these were pretty serious relationships at the time?

(Not judging, I am ND and often wonder if I am odd for not having more relationships and choosing to spend most of my life single).

I would not have children i have. Which is absolutely unthinkable and means that whatever path I might have taken, it could never have been as right as the one I took.

Living in London

I had a narrow escape

I wonder if men would answer this question in the same way. I somehow doubt it.

They’d say they’d be exactly who they’d always been

Married to another town planner, probably wouldn’t have moved to the UK

1. A rather normal mum of two living not far from where I am now.
2. Divorced from a Turkish bloke when it inevitably went tits-up
3. Completely miserable and poor because of my husband's addictions, probable childless because we could never have afforded them
4. Living on a farm in Brazil, relatively happy in some ways but very unhappy with my now fat and old husband

@LostittoBostik I know!! 🤦‍♀️ He was just gigging at the time, not famous but known on the circuits. I could kick myself now of course 😂

1. In prison for murdering his mother
2. Bald due to pulling own hair out
3. Bored to tears due to having to listen to constant cricket on Radio Five Live
4. In a psychiatric unit
5. Taken out for dinner but only if the total cost came to about £10 or was a Spoons two for one deal.
6. Left with the self-esteem of a gnat due to his constant flirting with other women.

Thank God I escaped!

Living on the Isle of Wight
A widow
A football widow
A lottery winner's wife (he spent it all, very quickly apparently)
Retired at 50
SAHM - 2 exes are seemingly happily married with 3 kids each, I am vaguely in contact with them but don't regret the break-ups. Both upper managerial level men
Possibly suicidal if I'd stayed with exh

• married to a feckless twat who would be continuing to sponge off me

• married to a man with severe mental health issues who would continue to blame me for his own inadequacies

• married to a man who put his mother and family before me

I have had some narrow escapes.

Divorced from someone who is actually now in the same profession as me (but junior, ha) and got there via the dole and, reportedly, addiction.

A possible convert to Judaism

A lonely lady who watches her BF play computer games all hours of the day

A "mother hen" figure to a man-child who sleeps in till noon

A beekeeper's wife who would probably be being cheated on

Interesting thread!

• widowed at 40
• married to a fat retired school teacher and living in Harrogate
• married to a philanderer and living in a boring Home Counties suburb
• married to a penniless musician
• married to a Dutchman and living in Moldova
• still married to my abusive exh who was richer than he claimed and totally hoodwinked me over finances

Asi it I am happily divorced, living in a fantastic location, two great kids and financially secure and independent

Married to an Anesthetist (lovely chap, still friends now)
Married to a petrol head and staying at home while he travelled the world with a race team
Divorced
Dead
Widowed

Incredibly happily married to current DH who is an absolute superstar and I'm glad I found him after a few dodgy ones.

I'm interested in how people are answering. Some giving a lot of detail on jobs, area and income. When I think of my exes I just think of why I walked out and the emotional/mental feelings they remind me of...

I wonder if any of our exes would stalk us and wonder if their kid would be as bright/attractive/healthy/wealthy as ours - I somehow doubt it. More likely men would remember having sex in some place/way and not much about our personalities or jobs.

It's an interesting thought experiment for how people perceive relational importance.

Married to a Mormon being frowned upon by his family for drinking tea & coffee. Probably a SAHM with 3-7 children

Not married to a nice local lad never getting on the property market, 1-2 children, low income

Married to a guy in the army living in digs 2-3 children, no extended family

Unhappily married to a financially abusive man but in a gorgeous house and good holidays. 2 children.

I would have been with -

• a man who didn’t work or study but claimed he was a ‘genius’ and who probably would have underachieved in life and not brought in any money but left everything to me
• a man who didn’t work and is now chain smoking weed and calls himself semi-retired (even though he didn’t work) and he has definitely been like that all his life since his early 20s and he is now 60 (they don’t change)
• a man who sadly had early onset dementia and died in a care home so I would have been a carer and widowed relatively young