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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If relationships had worked out I would have been

117 replies

isitsnowingyett · 22/11/2024 09:32

  • a gamekeeper's wife 😳
  • a wife of an American military bod probably divorced
  • living in a cottage in a small village in the Scottish Highlands
  • living in Tennessee in a very Christian environment

How about you?

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 22/11/2024 10:26

A princess

desidi · 22/11/2024 10:28

married to the CEO of a multinational company,
living in a 7 million pound house in London.

ItGhoul · 22/11/2024 10:28
  • In one case, I'd be the main breadwinner, would probably have three or four kids, and would also be essentially parenting their father through his endless emotional angst and drama and having to support his constant unrealistic goal of making a living from his art. I would basically be doing everything and we'd be skint as hell.
  • In another case, I would probably have had a nervous breakdown by now from the stress of his behaviour and the relationship with my family would be very strained, although I would live somewhere much nicer than where I live now.
  • In another, I'd be living in America and very bored with socialising with people I had nothing in common with. Great sex though.
  • In the worst case scenario, either he'd have killed me, or I'd have outlived him when he died a few years ago.
StMarie4me · 22/11/2024 10:29

-Married to a wealthy Walter Mitty in Miami
-Married to a NIMBY who values material possessions above happiness
-still married to a consummate liar
-still married to an alcoholic.

Happily single ahaha!!

Sidebeforeself · 22/11/2024 10:30

This is interesting. I dont know what happened to any of my exs after we finished!

Movinghouseatlast · 22/11/2024 10:33

My ex went to prison a couple of years ago. He'd been having an affair for 11 years and due to the circumstances it amounted to misconduct in public office. I often think of his poor wife- her husband lost his job, went to prison and she discovered he had been having a long term affair all at once. It must've been horrendous. It would have been me if we had got married.

MimiGC · 22/11/2024 10:34

A widow. He died in his 30s from a congenital heart condition.

betterchoicesnexttime · 22/11/2024 10:35

Doing exactly the same thing, every day, evening and weekend as I had done in my early 20s. Going to the same place on holiday, in the same villa just probably with a different small person than I have now. He was nice but I escaped 20 years of monotony.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 22/11/2024 10:38

A christian...

Slotted · 22/11/2024 10:39

So many Texas stories here!

And so many glamorous alternatives too.

Mine are pretty dull, so no stories about millionaires or royalty from me! Happily married for almost 30 years though, so no regrets either.

LimeYellow · 22/11/2024 10:40

One of my exes is living in Los Angeles and another is in Pakistan. One is a very successful lawyer! (Although tbf he was more of a fling than a relationship.)

Beeinalily · 22/11/2024 10:41

If my first marriage had worked out (In that I hadn't been an evil narcissistic bitch) I'd have been married for over 50 years to a lovely man. Serves me right.

Blueuggboots · 22/11/2024 10:43

Married to a retired and injured army squaddie with 3 children.

Married to an evangelical Christian with 4 kids.

A widow. He died.

Bored stupid arguing over my requests to have a functioning kitchen and house whilst his man shed was the tidiest, most well kept thing you've ever seen. (I was actually married to this one for a while!)

Meanwhile? I'm actually married to a woman who makes me happier than anyone I've ever been with.....😝

Crushed23 · 22/11/2024 10:45
  1. Uneducated (he wanted me to quit my A levels), a single mum, worn down by his abuse

  2. Living in Chicago, very well off, and probably reasonably happy

  3. Married with 2.4 children in a nondescript English suburb. A dull but happy life.

  4. Sexless marriage, probably driven to cheating on one another.

turkeyboots · 22/11/2024 10:47

If I'd married the various men who'd asked I'd be divorced, poor and abandoned in a range of not-home countries- all 3 are on their 2 or 3rd wives now, rarely see their kids and I'd be stuck as they wouldn't have let me move.
No riches or glamour! They all got that from wives 1 and 2...

ghostyslovesheets · 22/11/2024 10:47

Married to an abusive husband living abroad

married to a man who started well but turned into a rabid covid conspiracy nut

married to a man who’s whole personality changed following a head injury

still married to a cheating asshat

ViciousCurrentBun · 22/11/2024 10:48

The wife of a lead engineer. He still lives near one of my siblings, last spotted in B&Q by sis who delighted in telling me he was now really fat. He had been incredibly good looking when young.

The wife or more likely live in GF of an immigration advice worker, would have not had much money and only his strong morale principles to keep us warm. When we broke up he said I would never have had enough money for you would I. I replied you are completely correct, already out earned him by a lot.

The wife of a lawyer who is a partner or whatever they are called with his own firm in London. I disliked living in London. So that’s a major win. We still have a mutual acquaintance. He was a very nice guy, a bit too clingy and cultural differences between families made it very difficult. He was hoping they would come round. Was too much hassle for me, I guess he loved me enough but I did not feel so deeply.

I was happy to settle down with a Professor of science with a penchant for wit and money who loves hill walking like me and can also be secretly dreadful just like me.

Thepeopleversuswork · 22/11/2024 10:48

There’s an infinite number of bullets I have dodged on this front. I can’t say I regret that any of them “got away”.

The closest I came to getting married before I actually got married was to a bloke who is now a fairly successful Elvis impersonator. That is one parallel universe I would like to have seen.

TheErinyes · 22/11/2024 10:56

Thepeopleversuswork · 22/11/2024 10:48

There’s an infinite number of bullets I have dodged on this front. I can’t say I regret that any of them “got away”.

The closest I came to getting married before I actually got married was to a bloke who is now a fairly successful Elvis impersonator. That is one parallel universe I would like to have seen.

😀😀

Me neither, actually. The guy before DH ended up patenting some key component in something chemical engineering-related while he was still a master’s student, and is now very wealthy, but given that I ditched him because his conversation was so dull, no regrets there.

Other long-past ‘roads not taken’ include a French mime artist, a guy who used to be a political spin doctor and is now rewilding an estate, a dairy farmer who inherited a big family farm, a guy who is now a senior detective in Baton Rouge, a teacher at Eton, and a surfing GP in the west of Ireland.

NetballHoop · 22/11/2024 10:59

Married to a solicitor specialising in human rights
Married to a senior member of the Israeli armed forces
Scraping a living selling tat on ebay
Living in Geneva married to a politician

I'm pretty happy with my actual life though.

Zone2NorthLondon · 22/11/2024 11:03

Be With a famous musician
I cautiously advised he forgo music get a proper career
Fortunately he didn’t listen to me
is rich famous and successful

hellohellooo · 22/11/2024 11:06

Rosesanddaffs · 22/11/2024 09:34

Dead, ex-husband was abusive and had plans to take me to another country and dispose of my body

Same!!!

No doubt about it

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 22/11/2024 11:08

Absolutely skint with a controlling MIL. Thank god I went through the other door.

terriblyangryattimes · 22/11/2024 11:11

• Married to a boring accountant type who loves his own voice
• A widow
• A pub landlady
• Very unhappy indeed but I would have a sweet looking dog

Maray1967 · 22/11/2024 11:12

Sidebeforeself · 22/11/2024 10:30

This is interesting. I dont know what happened to any of my exs after we finished!

Same for me apart from one - he died in his late 40s so I would have been a widow for the last decade.

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