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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby left alone in car

153 replies

ChickenGator · 22/11/2024 00:49

I was on my way to pick up my son from school when I walked passed a car with a baby inside.

I did a double take and noticed he was on his own and felt uneasy walking off and leaving him there.

So I waited there for a couple of minutes to see if anyone came, maybe they'd rushed back in the house to get something.
The car was parked on the street and I knew in front of a house with a driveway with another car in the driveway.

After another minute or so I knew I was going to be late to pick up my son, so I built up the courage to knock on the door.

She answered pretty quick and I asked is that your car on the street and she said yes to which I replied I was just checking because there's a child alone in there.

She then gets a bit annoyed and says I know I'm checking on him which seemed weird since I had been hanging around a while and the windows at the front on the house were covered by blinds

So I said ok and starting walking back down the drive to which she then calls me rude.
I turned back and said I was genuinely concerned for the child and by the way he's awake and walked off.

When I walked back home after collecting my son the child was no longer in the car.

Am I mad for thinking this is crazy. I remember when mine were that age? Transferring them out of the seat would always wake them but I'd never considered leaving them on their own in the car. Many times I sat in the car whilst they slept.
The car wasn't even in the drive it was on the street! I've been thinking about it all evening.
It's a quiet residential street but still...

OP posts:
Justleaveitblankthen · 22/11/2024 07:42

TheShellBeach · 22/11/2024 00:59

@RockyFowlboa why on earth did you quote the whole of the OP?
You were literally the first person to answer.
Can you imagine how long a thread would be if everyone did that?

@ChickenGator you did the right thing. Of course babies shouldn't be left alone in cars.

Thank you!
This is so annoying, I want to leave the thread.
Can we all stop doing this?

cannynotsay · 22/11/2024 07:43

You possibly save that kids life, proud of you op xxx

Fluufer · 22/11/2024 07:44

cannynotsay · 22/11/2024 07:43

You possibly save that kids life, proud of you op xxx

From what?

UniDaysAcoming · 22/11/2024 07:57

samarrange · 22/11/2024 01:00

DP and I would never have left our DC alone like that when they were little, but then we are not Scandinavian...

Edited

My goodness! Free range kids!❄

ShamblesRock · 22/11/2024 08:01

Fluufer · 22/11/2024 07:44

From what?

Includes, but not exhaustive:

1 Over/under heating
2 Car exploding
3 Bears
4 Car catching fire
5 If on road another car crashing into it
6 A plane falling from the sky
7 If on drive and out of control car crashing into your house
8 Handbrake failure
9 Lions
10 Baby choking
11 Baby crying till they make themselves sick
12 Swarm of bees
13 Flooding
14 Parent may collapse/ be run over / die and no one would ever know there was a baby there.
15 Lightning strike

I think that covers most of the possible scenarios.

Fluufer · 22/11/2024 08:04

ShamblesRock · 22/11/2024 08:01

Includes, but not exhaustive:

1 Over/under heating
2 Car exploding
3 Bears
4 Car catching fire
5 If on road another car crashing into it
6 A plane falling from the sky
7 If on drive and out of control car crashing into your house
8 Handbrake failure
9 Lions
10 Baby choking
11 Baby crying till they make themselves sick
12 Swarm of bees
13 Flooding
14 Parent may collapse/ be run over / die and no one would ever know there was a baby there.
15 Lightning strike

I think that covers most of the possible scenarios.

Bears 🤣

Lemonadeand · 22/11/2024 08:04

You did absolutely the right thing. The mother was being defensive because she knew that she was in the wrong.

Thank God for isofix car seats so you can carry a sleeping baby into the house! (And even then I feel guilty because it’s not the best sleeping position for them 😭)

Lemonadeand · 22/11/2024 08:06

ShamblesRock · 22/11/2024 08:01

Includes, but not exhaustive:

1 Over/under heating
2 Car exploding
3 Bears
4 Car catching fire
5 If on road another car crashing into it
6 A plane falling from the sky
7 If on drive and out of control car crashing into your house
8 Handbrake failure
9 Lions
10 Baby choking
11 Baby crying till they make themselves sick
12 Swarm of bees
13 Flooding
14 Parent may collapse/ be run over / die and no one would ever know there was a baby there.
15 Lightning strike

I think that covers most of the possible scenarios.

I know some of these are silly but no 14 would be my worst fear. Something happening to me while I’m alone with the baby or being locked out of the house when I run the bins out etc.

Lemonadeand · 22/11/2024 08:07

ShamblesRock · 22/11/2024 08:01

Includes, but not exhaustive:

1 Over/under heating
2 Car exploding
3 Bears
4 Car catching fire
5 If on road another car crashing into it
6 A plane falling from the sky
7 If on drive and out of control car crashing into your house
8 Handbrake failure
9 Lions
10 Baby choking
11 Baby crying till they make themselves sick
12 Swarm of bees
13 Flooding
14 Parent may collapse/ be run over / die and no one would ever know there was a baby there.
15 Lightning strike

I think that covers most of the possible scenarios.

Also you missed:

Car being stolen without carjackers realising baby was inside and being driven irresponsibly and possibly being implicated as an accessory to a crime.

ShamblesRock · 22/11/2024 08:09

Lemonadeand · 22/11/2024 08:07

Also you missed:

Car being stolen without carjackers realising baby was inside and being driven irresponsibly and possibly being implicated as an accessory to a crime.

That definitely needs to be on the list.

Fluufer · 22/11/2024 08:10

Lemonadeand · 22/11/2024 08:06

I know some of these are silly but no 14 would be my worst fear. Something happening to me while I’m alone with the baby or being locked out of the house when I run the bins out etc.

They'd be better off in the car, visible than locked in the house with a dead parent surely?

Catza · 22/11/2024 08:20

QueenCamilla · 22/11/2024 03:19

My Grandparents would put me out for the nap on the balcony in -10 winter! That's my excuse for...everything.

In the early 80s auntie left her baby in a pram, outside the shop whilst she went inside. Came out - pram gone, baby gone! So she rushed home in a complete panic mode to call the police and found the baby napping underneath her front-room windows. That's the usual spot, so panic over 😂
Turns out, a close friend spotted the pram outside the shop and decided it would be a good prank to just take it home and park in the usual spot...
That's entertainment before TikTok 😁

Oh god, I would have killed that EX-friend! But yes, all the kids in our family spent their naps on a balcony in temperatures of -20. I really don't know why it seems like such a strange idea.
My concern about the car would be safety, not temperatures. But then again, I wouldn't think twice sticking a sleeping child unsupervised on a balcony... Who knows what's normal, eh...

PlantDoctor · 22/11/2024 08:21

DD would only ever nap in a car or pushchair. We often drove her around until she fell asleep, parked up and sat with her (I used to bring my laptop to get some work done!), but it's absolutely not safe to not have eyes on the baby. You did the right thing OP

Oreyt · 22/11/2024 08:25

@TheShellBeach It winds me up too. Especially the first reply.

ChickenGator · 22/11/2024 08:26

Thank you everyone I feel better about confronting her now.

Just to clarify the child was about 2 (24 month side of 2) and it was freezing in the UK yesterday

If she'd been watching him as regularly as she made out she would have seen me loitering around the car for 5 minutes. It was quite obvious she hadn't quickly nipped inside to get something.

Also the car seat was on the road side not the pavement, never know if a car can come flying round the corner and crash into the parked car.

OP posts:
PlantDoctor · 22/11/2024 08:28

Lemonadeand · 22/11/2024 08:06

I know some of these are silly but no 14 would be my worst fear. Something happening to me while I’m alone with the baby or being locked out of the house when I run the bins out etc.

I agree, I often think about 14. I mean it doesn't stop me living my life but it's a pet worry of mine

Womblewife · 22/11/2024 08:29

YANBU. That is a stupid thing to do ! Who leaves a baby in a car?! She is lucky the police and social services were not involved.

Oreyt · 22/11/2024 08:29

But yes you did the right thing.

An extreme example but 38 people didn't intervene when James Bulger was crying and being dragged around.

AmberCritic · 22/11/2024 08:32

you are right

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/11/2024 08:35

You were in the right OP. I've left DS in the car for 1 minute (on the drive in our quiet cul de sac) to dash back in and grab something I've forgotten or to unlock the house before I get him out of the car if it's pouring rain, but if he's napping when we get home I just sit in the car with him until he wakes up.

Oreyt · 22/11/2024 08:37

@CheeseWisely 1 minute is a long time to leave a baby.

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/11/2024 08:37

To add though DH is Scandinavian and if we had a secure enclosed garden we would definitely have him napping outside. As it is DH often takes him out for his late afternoon nap in the pram, rain or shine, warm or freezing cold, daylight or dark.

Stickthatupyourdojo · 22/11/2024 08:37

Definitely did the right thing. My baby isn't a napper but will sometimes fall asleep in the car. I just stay in the car with her. A couple of months ago I gave the postie a fright when I saw him in my mirror walk up the drive so I hopped out to intercept him and he jumped out of his skin, poor bloke.

mm81736 · 22/11/2024 08:38

The baby is strapped into an alarmed metal box! In the absence of extreme heat, they are pretty safe.Statistically a baby being snatched from a parked car are vanishingly rare.some
Ll
Ptimes a car is stolen with the thief unaware there is a baby inside, but it seems u likely in broad daylight

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/11/2024 08:39

Oreyt · 22/11/2024 08:37

@CheeseWisely 1 minute is a long time to leave a baby.

1 minute that I can see him for at least 50% of because I'm standing beside the car locking or unlocking two doors. The only time I can't see him is when I'm diving inside to grab his red book or bottle or whatever it is I've forgotten, with the aforementioned doors stood open.