What is the worst Christmas present you have received?

[KookyGreenHelper]

I will start. Every year a certain family member gets me bath bombs. I cannot use them as i am alergic to them. I have suggested things i would prefer every year like chocolates or a good bottle of wine. This family member always fails to listen. I am fed up of pretending to be greatful.

Twilight pin badges from an ex. I don’t even like the movies that much

All of them. I hate presents. Apparently I "have" to give SIL ideas this year and my usual answer if anything from goodgifts.org or chooselove.org is no longer acceptable. I'm stonewalling the conversation so far.

Ped Egg from my MIL, i asked DH why an earth she got me that and he said because i was always moaning my feet were rough. No dear YOU were always moaning my feet were rough

A Yankee candle novelty holder with wax residue in it so obviously 2nd hand , and Halloween themed .

Framed photos of my big old face. Lovely.

My MIL is a spectacularly shit gift giver. My personal highlight was the year she asked what I wanted and I said I’d like a particular lipstick (it was about £15, it wasn’t a crazy expensive one). I received some solar lights for the garden.

Wonderbra (I am a 36DD)
I could have eaten my Christmas dinner off my boobs, and so could several other people.

It’s a choice between a WH Smith note pad with the discount sticker still attached to the creased front cover from my MiL (we got on really well, she was just tight) or from my mum the half used jar of body butter or chocolates I’d bought for her the year before returned, out of date with half of them mildewy 🤣

A wall mounted wooden key holder with a painted Native American man on it. I don't know why the gifter was so convinced I'd like it.

Aww you've just reminded of the year my sister in law bought me:

Deicer for my car.

My husband used it one morning to deice my car & then by the time I got out there it had frozen onto the windscreen & I couldn't see out.
I saw it in the garage the other day & felt the rage all over again.

Said sister in law has now died & I fear my husband will want to keep the deicer forever as a reminder of how thoughtful she was (n't)

I had a boyfriend twice my age when I was 18, we'd nearly dated a year by the time Christmas came round.
For weeks, he kept going on about the amazing Christmas gift he'd got me, I was so excited. I'd bought him some posh aftershave and a nice shaving kit and was looking forward to exchanging presents.
The day came and I giddily opened my present, only to find a money box, a chalk, clown money box... With it's big red shoe chipped... I kind of looked round, bewildered, thinking it was a joke, but it really wasn't! He was so smug and so proud of himself for getting me this perfect gift.
Now, don't get me wrong, I appreciate anything I'm given, I'm not ungrateful at all, I never have been. But it was the whole run up to this gift that was the issue. It was amazing, I'd absolutely love it etc... Talk about a let down! Before anyone jumps in to say maybe it was all he could afford, it wasn't! He had enough money to go to the pub every night for a few beers! Obviously I wasn't high on his list!
I think it "sadly" got broken not long after that!
(We broke up a couple of months later when he tried to get me to get with the barmaid of our local pub! She had the good grace to let me in on what was going on, when I shunned her advances. So I marched back into the bar and promptly poured my pint over his head and stomped out! Never saw him again!)

I have just had a look at good gifts.org , what lovely ideas.
A pair of slippers , except they weren’t a pair one was a size 5 one size 4 . I’m a size 6, thanks MIL

My ex husband once gave me two books as stocking fillers - one that was something I would never read, and I had already read the other one. He was always kind, but almost never thoughtful 😕

I don’t think I’ve ever received anything truly awful. No half eaten boxes of chocolates or clothes that are several sizes out. I did once receive (unsolicited) a handbag that tested my ‘Oh, how lovely’ face. It was an orange, velvet bucket bag. It was just so random.

Deodorant and some body wash. I found it insulting.

The guy I was dating put £10 in a card. The card was definitely one from a pack, not one he'd specifically chosen for me. Then he got mad because my presents to him were better.

One year, for my birthday (which I know isn't the question but it's right after Christmas), my family gave me a stadium tour of the football team my dad and brothers support. I don't give a shit about football...

Anti wrinkle cream from MIL in my early 30’s erm thanks 🤣

A poncho from primark with the £1 price label still attached from my now ex-SIL. She had bought my mum a Tiffany jewellery set and handed that over at the same time. She hated me but then again she hates everybody.

A half used bottle of perfume

My fil and his second wife, who was horrible, bought me an expensive bottle of an obscure liqueur every single year. I don't drink alcohol often and if I do, I certainly don't drink that muck. I tried to tell them not to get me anything and told them several times that I don't drink, but every year it turned up.
Anyway, my friend's mum was always grateful for them as prizes in a raffle she organised!

An open bag of mint imperials and a half eaten jar of chocolate spread. Thanks MIL. Can't think why I hate you!

The following year she got me a book about infertility (it wasn't long after I'd had a miscarriage). Yeah, again, can't think why I hate you!

I've never seen my husband so angry. Even his siblings who are usually staunch defenders of MIL spoke up and told her off. We left soon after, taking the very expensive gift we'd bought her, and she still dared to try and say we'd ruined Christmas.

Thankfully I don't have to speak to her any more (we cut her off).

The most bizarre present I received was from two employees.

It was a china lobster pot, with gold highlights, with china lobsters and crabs running all over it decorated with china roses and a vase as part of the back of it. I think DH and I laughed for about 30 minutes straight after opening it. It took pride of place in our bathroom for many years until a visitor broke it . The following year they gave us a brown resin fish with red rhinestone eyes which I also admired greatly as it was completely insane.

Three dishcloths, from my mum. Weird knitted greyish cotton ones, the kind that get smelly very quickly. When I opened them she quickly told me that I mustn't dispose of them, I must wash them in the washing machine and use them again and again.

Yes, I know they're very eco, but actually I never use dishcloths anyway - I use a sponge. Also... they're dishcloths. Nothing says festive treat like a manky greyish dishcloth.

I gave them to the charity shop, but I suspect they didn't manage to sell them.

An iron! I have told this sorry tale on here before, but I'll share again 😂

I hated ironing...always complained about doing it. I had an old iron to be fair, which was probably on its way out. What I 'said' was that it was 'a bit spluttery' (spitting water out). What he HEARD was, "I'd really LOVE a new iron!"

Come Christmas Day, I opened my present and he was so thrilled with his excellent choice...smiling and proud! I laughed, thinking it was a joke, and waited for my actual present...and then it dawned on me! 🤦‍♀️😱 This was it! A fucking iron!!

Not gonna lie...this was the beginning of the end 🤷‍♀️

I got a bottle of vodka as a secret Santa gift in work. I’m not a big drinker, don’t really drink vodka and was also quite heavily pregnant at the time.

Still though, i did have some cocktails many months later that I quite enjoyed so maybe it wasn’t such a bad gift!