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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be disappointed by dh yet again?

126 replies

johnso · 28/04/2008 13:51

Honestly, it drives me mad. Firstly, he takes the day off work for no reason at all.
Okay, then he gets up with the children(early risers) but when I come out he is asleep on the sofa and they are watching television.
I wake him up, tell him how angry I am!
He says sorry love, I am exhausted.
Exhausted says I! You only have one day off a week, that means only one lay in for me, and you can't even do that properly!!Don't talk to me about exhausted!!
On top of all that, I have got to do a big grocery shop as his family have invited themselves round tonight.
I am really not in the mood.
Don't worry, he says, just do sandwiches, they only want to drop cards off!
Oh yea, says I , I can imagine the reaction if I served up sandwiches!
Honestly, men!!!!

OP posts:

anniemac · 28/04/2008 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

johnso · 28/04/2008 14:20

And I do think you are all being a bit hard on me- he is not the angel you are all making out, believe me

OP posts:

poshwellies · 28/04/2008 14:21

bubblagirl · 28/04/2008 14:21

is this a wind up?

my dp works 7 day weeks im up in the night and im up all day i never get a lie in and sometimes if im really tired i nod off with ds watching tv

on your dh day off does he not deserve to nod off in front of tv he never gets a lie in his got up with kids persume his up early every day for work

wheres the respect and partnership i let my dp lay in when he does have time off i certainntly wouldnt have a go if he did fall asleep in front of tv if ds was content and i had a lie in

if it was my dp birthday i would have got up early made him breakfast in bed to thank him for letting me lay in although he never gets one and to tell him how much i appreciate him

a relationship is not about me all the time its about team work n o i in team work

just wandering what you do for him to show him he is appreciated not yelling at him on his birthday because the poor sod is quite rightly knakered putting him down then moaning about doing food for his birthday

just also wondering how you like to be treated on your birthday

would you be happy with him staying in bed then getting up to yell at you and then complaining about having to shop for dinner for him and family on his birthdayn

really not sure if pulling our leg as havent met anyone so into themselves before normally have some compassion and respect for partner

rookiemater · 28/04/2008 14:22

Well johnso, if there is more to this story, why not tell us because atm you are coming across as either a troll ( and quite a good one) or some one who is slightly deluded about the realities of life.

bubblagirl · 28/04/2008 14:22

maybe you should put a bit more about him then right why youa cted that way then maybe you wouldnt sound so selfish as we would know what he is normally like

either way you dont sound happy with him

minster · 28/04/2008 14:23

"HE gets to lie in as he's the one doing paid work!"

Really? What an odd attitude!

MouseMate · 28/04/2008 14:24

OK, trying to see your POV here. I understand that your kids are early risers - what time do you mean?

Do you mean that 6 days a week you get up at say, 0530 whilst he stays in bed till 0800 then goes to work, so you expect to have one day a week where you get to lie in til 0800. If that is the case then I dont think it's an unreasonable request....... I would love to stay in bed longer than 0600 just once a week!

However, why were you so annoyed he was asleep on the sofa? - how old are the kids? are they too young to be watching TV unsupervised count yourself lucky they weren't decorating the kitchen with flour (last week chez mouse)

Oh and seriously serve sandwiches or do something easy and 'one pot'ish - a stew, or chilli or something like that.

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 28/04/2008 14:24

So now he has dragged the kids out to the supermarket to shop for his birthday food, hmmmm. Issues!

When it was my dh's birthday last month I dragged 3 reluctant children into town on the bus. Hurried round the shops as it was 4.30pm already. Bought party food,cake, balloon etc... Got home, sorted food decorated the dining room and dealt with annoying children before he got home at 5.30pm.

All for probably 30 minutes around the table together at most before getting children into bed so we could go out and celebrate.

I had no thanks but enjoyed doing it. Its HIS birthday and you do for him what you need to do, not the other way round, no matter if he is an angel or not.

grouphug · 28/04/2008 14:24

Now I'm confused?

Original poster

johnso · 28/04/2008 14:24

As for the breakfast in bed on his birthday, well, he always brings it out and eats it at the table as he says he doesn't like crumbs in bed- THAT'S why i don't bother anymore!!!

OP posts:

MoreSpamThanGlam · 28/04/2008 14:25

Send him round here - I will give him a lovely treat for his birthday - a lay-in, kids out the house whilst he has a nice bath and then a lovely lunch.

Then a nice dinner with home made cake that the kids have made.

Then a happy shag.

You sound a right meely mouthed cow

Cappuccino · 28/04/2008 14:26

let's start another thread

let's see what they would think if the boot was on the other foot

anniemac · 28/04/2008 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

glaskham · 28/04/2008 14:26

minster- My husband goes out to work and works damn hard to bring the money in to keep our family home running, i feel its only fair i let him lie in on his days off. Our kids dont wake till at least 7.30am and i wake up then or soemtimes earlier, so i dont feel the need to lie in, DH likes an extra hour in bed on a day off...

colacubes · 28/04/2008 14:29

ohhhhhhhhhh bloody hell, happy birthday day to you, now kiss my feet and clean the house. John you are a lucky lady, his b/day shouldnt have to get up early whether you had no sleep or whatever, i got 4 hours last night, was working late, dp stayed in bed till 8 I was up at 6.30, he's driving to a meeting miles away today, and I am working at home, so swings and round abouts.

Your dh sounds like an alright guy, whereas mine has been an ass for 3 years and has only lately come around to shared caring, count yourself lucky,poor git hes at the supermarket now on his b/day with kids and you are on mn, sorry no dont believe you are as hard done by as you think you are.

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 28/04/2008 14:32

Plus, you started your threadby saying he had taken the day off for no reason at all

It obviously means alot to him to spend the day with his family, although if I was him I wouldn't have bothered!

Original poster

johnso · 28/04/2008 14:33

Well, you've enmbaressed yourself offering to shag him for me haven' t you?
Did feminisn happen?

OP posts:

anniemac · 28/04/2008 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

johnso · 28/04/2008 14:37

He is a fmily man, Happy, that is true, I am just taken abcl that his brother and sister phoned mo only last night and said they would come over after work. If he took the day off to be with us, why do they have to come?

OP posts:

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 28/04/2008 14:38

Hmmmm a bit too far by spamglam but he still needs a lovely day with birthday tea and to have his feet up, not to be traipsing around the supermarket with the kids buying his own birthday food whilst you sit at home on the PC moaning that you didn't get a lie in.

pagwatch · 28/04/2008 14:38

Yes Johnso she's the one who's embaressed herself on this thread

Cappuccino · 28/04/2008 14:40

he obv didn't take the day off to be with you

he took the day off to go to the supermarket while you pissed about

Original poster

johnso · 28/04/2008 14:41

Anyway, I am popping down Woolies to get his present now.
I was going to take the kids but as they are with him I will have to buy something from them in their absence.
See, not such a witch, am I?

OP posts:

HappyNewYearFeet06 · 28/04/2008 14:41

To drop off cards johnso. They are still family and no reason why they can't pop in and drop off cards whether it be for 5 mins or half an hour.

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