To say we all feel under pressure, under appreciated and utterly disillusioned?

[DelusionalBrilliance]

May I please vent, vipers?

No, we aren’t a monolith or a singular hive mind so I don’t realistically expect everyone to feel the same but…

I mean, ffs 😫 isn’t everything just a bit, utterly crap?

Relationships, work, kids, running a home, finances, family, illness, the list is endelsss.

I have just sat down for the first time today and have a few minutes alone before getting plates washed up, kids to bed, blah blah you know the stuff. And I’m here feeling so burned out, like absolutely nothing in life at the moment is simple, enjoyable or even manageable some days.

Hopeless, I think is the word. I feel hopeless and totally despondent. People around me are feeling run down too, just an air about the world of “well this is shit.”

Ok, either tell me I’m not alone or that your life is great and I need to get a grip?

You're not alone.

It's definitely a bit shit, innit?

Im sorry you're feeling that way and I'm sure there will be many who do feel the same but I generally don't. I work ft as a teacher and am a SP to ND teens so life isn't easy from a practical point of view but I own a (mortgaged) home, hsve good pension and I'm very very sparing on what i give my fucks about. I'm miserly with them. I only really care that my kids are mentally healthy and doing their best. Everything else is secondary and doesn't really matter all that much.

Life is full on.

I think you have to really invest in finding joy / hobbies / friends etc, or the routine will kill you (or at least numb your brain).

YANBU. I feel like the last 5 years have been relentless. One thing gets better, another goes to shit. Or if I'm ever feeling a bit happy, the news turns that right round 🫠

Yes, @DelusionalBrilliance I concur: it's all a bit shit.

Redundancy for before Christmas for me. Not been in job long enough to qualify for redundancy either. 😞

Everything is just shit.

It's cold,dark, grey dreary weather...
Everything costs so much!
Family life is unrelenting...work is full on, money disappears as even the basics are extortionate.
Tired, stressed, we've had vomiting bugs, covid, chest infection and now another cold...then there's the cooking, cleaning, laundry, housework, life admin, child care, parenting, emails, looking after children/family members/elderly relatives...I'm stressed and tired and my mental health is shite...it's like rinse and repeat every single day..with nothing to look forward to,yeah even Christmas because that's even more expensive and a faff...bah humbug

Just feels like everyone is stressed, tired, at capacity, breaking point and one final straw from absolutely breaking down/loosing it all

My life is objectively shit on many and multiple levels. Certainly much more shit than yours with your list of ordinary, mundane ‘problems’.

So if I can still find pleasure and enjoyment in aspects of life you sure can.

This

Yeah it's shit

we do what we can

T'was ever thus though. Adulting is hard and life is unfair. The trick is to find something to make it feel less so (not doomscrolling through SM though, that will just make things worse). Living in the moment and having a long term escape plan help.

Yeah I get this. And yet I am fortunate in so many ways but there is a sense of for gods sake surely it gets better than this?! I sometimes wonder if having children is what makes it so relentless but my closest friend doesn't have children (by choice) and I can't say she's full of the joys either so maybe it's not totally that 😅

Also I'm 38.. Is it just a middle age thing ? I miss being an older teen/early 20s.

For me feeling like this has always been a signal to change something. What can you change?

Ah this is a very reasonable and levelheaded reply, and you are absolutely correct about doomscrolling, I didn’t even realise it was a term until recently and felt quite embarrassed I’d never realised it before! Adulting is hard, but you give good advice so you’re doing something right.

@Cartwrightandson your reply is what I should have written in the op, precisely how I feel. It’s hard not to wallow in it and be a bit miserable isn’t it? I do try to be mindful and grateful but my goodness, it really feels like one thing after another and it’s across the board for most people. Is it a generational thing do we think? Are we all just grumpy 🧐

Waiting for someone to mention “peri-menopause “ like women can’t just feel a bit fed up with all the demands of life!
My dh and I have 3 dcs , I don’t actually find it way easier now they are older tbh which I’m very shocked about !
All my friends have one , very small child as all having kids in their very late 30’s so can’t relate to teens or multiple dcs. We have absolutely zero practical, emotional or financial support from any side of our families , in fact there’s alcoholism and mental health issues on my dh side , yeahhhh… and no one from our families have babysat in 14 years and the threads I read on here complaining about a mil not cleaning or something when babysitting 😂😂😂
We are both working, I work with challenging youths … we are absolutely wreaked and all I read about is how basically we are all going to get cancer anyway.
BUT we have our health for now , I’m a big believer in looking after ourselves, I go to the gym regularly no matter what , I enjoy simple things ,; a walk in nature , a fire. I think we all should connect to nature more , I cook nice food, read to my kids , try and watch a fun movie , play monopoly. Honestly as I get older I value time more than money now ( as long as we can live ) , time is a commodity

Not to sound puritan, but you do need to take the small joys where you can find them

A cup of hot coffee
Snow on the hilltops
A pretty flower

Etc

🤔

Was your redundancy a consequence of the Labour Govt can I ask?

Very good question.

I could certainly keep a better routine, maybe exercise more and not be stuck in my own thoughts as much, I’m sure that would help.

Then there are things so far out of my control I can’t do much but worry. My brother is a recent (and very unexpected) double amputee, it’s been a real strain on the family. Trying to support him and seeing him so unwell has been tricky. And my FIL was recently in hospital with what they thought was some infection in the liver but he’s been called to say he needs to attend oncology this week, which is just awful.

I suppose I always thought being middle aged would come with some degree of stability, consistency and control. I now see I was a very naive teen and life is actually really hard.

This hit a real nerve, you’re so right. Time really is a commodity. I need to get a grip and a better routine, for sure. And remember to try and find bits of joy where I can. So easy to slip into this joyless “what’s the point” mindset. X

Things are about shit and it’s easy to focus on that and wallow, but perspective is everything. You are busy fitting in the washing up because you’re lucky enough that your children had a nice dinner and have safe cosy beds to.

I find it helps my mindset to find the things to be thankful for. There are always some, you just have to make the effort to think about it.

I love my life, your use of vipers amd hivemind gave me the ick momentarily though

I think you have to commit to loving life because you only have one. The daily grind is hard but there can always be moments of joy or beauty.

Cope? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I go through (quite long) phases of feeling like this. I don’t generally feel this way in the summer. Summer suits me - simple pleasures and all that. But for 11 months of the year… yes, it’s hard. And relentless. I am convinced that emigrating would help me, but maybe it wouldn’t.

I feel like this too, my day is just relentless. Financially im ok but i have two DC with ASD and i just feel constantly frustrated and angry.

I think you have to hang on to the good moments and endure the shit. I took mine to play tennis last week and they actually enjoyed it and didnt have a fight or meltdown and I felt like a normal person

I wonder whether life has always been this hard or whether we just have higher expectations now. .