To say we all feel under pressure, under appreciated and utterly disillusioned?

[DelusionalBrilliance]

May I please vent, vipers?

No, we aren’t a monolith or a singular hive mind so I don’t realistically expect everyone to feel the same but…

I mean, ffs 😫 isn’t everything just a bit, utterly crap?

Relationships, work, kids, running a home, finances, family, illness, the list is endelsss.

I have just sat down for the first time today and have a few minutes alone before getting plates washed up, kids to bed, blah blah you know the stuff. And I’m here feeling so burned out, like absolutely nothing in life at the moment is simple, enjoyable or even manageable some days.

Hopeless, I think is the word. I feel hopeless and totally despondent. People around me are feeling run down too, just an air about the world of “well this is shit.”

Ok, either tell me I’m not alone or that your life is great and I need to get a grip?

Ahh, OP, you’re definitely not alone.

100 percent and it sounds a bit twee and cringey but I honestly believe the little things can make a big difference.

If I look down the line or what’s going on in the world , col etc it’s easy to become depressed, I have a real lack of support behind me (bar my great dh) , my mother is completely detached to me and always has been so I’ve had to learn to look after myself. It isn’t easy when you are responsible for other young people but you have to look after yourself too as otherwise you won’t be any help to others.
I’ve been burnt out before and pushed through as I had to but now I’m more conscious. I swear by a few early nights a week, get a good 9 hours and you’ll bank that sleep and feel so much better for it . Up your water intake , take a good quality multi vitamin, get out in the fresh air even for 30 mins , even a light jog for 20 mins makes a big difference. Get some nice bed linen, make your couch as comfy as possible . I love watching series on tv , I find it so relaxing and something to look forward to . Get some good books. If you feel better everything will be easier to cope with

What I find helpful is to remember that o could be dead in five years time - or five months time. I try to ask myself, if I was on my deathbed in five years time, what would I wish I had done now? That doesn’t have to mean giving up work or leaving the country, for me it usually boils down to hane fun with DC or friends, doing stuff I enjoy even if that’s just reading a trashy book, having a laugh with colleagues etc. My life has improved so much since I stopped thinking about things I would do one day and focused more on the here and now.

Agree with prioritising sleep, that’s the biggest influence on my mood and well being

@DelusionalBrilliance I'm 56, I've been around the block a few times! It tends to give you perspective and resilience.

Sometimes you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Knowing you are in the tunnel and that you will eventually come out is a good starting point. It will get easier, just hang in there.

You are being a bit unreasonable. Complaining about doing dishes? Putting your own kids to bed? I don’t k ow what the expectation is here that you think everything is soooo shit. Were you expecting servants to wait on you hand and foot?

You have food on tap from the supermarket - anything you want anytime throughout the year but people still complain about the mental load of meal planning”. You have all the appliances to make housework as easy as possible. What is it really that is making you unhappy because the home situation isn’t really gonna get much better and easier than it is?

It was more about quite serious family issues as I mentioned in a later post, but thank you anyway. Food for thought.

Eh?

The first time I felt like this, I emigrated.
Second time, re-immigrated.
Third time: Got a cleaner.
Fourth: Divorced and emigrated.
Fifth: Divorced and started therapy.

Each of those times, it was a signal that I needed to make a big change.

These days my life is objectively WAY WORSE than it was any of the other times - and I do feel "Is there any point?" very regularly. The difference is that I know I can't change the things that are now grinding me down, so I need to change the way I feel. I do this by all the usual means: distracting myself, meditating, going for a walk, talking to someone, comedy shows, cake, bed, listing gratitudes, remembering it always passes.

The only certainty in life is that it's uncertain: everything changes, always. You won't feel like this forever; you might not feel like this tomorrow!

In therapy I became very attached to the Serenity Prayer:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

You'll be fine, OP 😎

Hang on, your brother has recently become a double amputee? No wonder you feel terrible and find everything hard. Anyone would. I am so sorry.

The weather at this time of year gets people down, me included. But we all need to take a step back and then we discover that life isn't too bad. In my case, I am lucky as I don't have kids, I work PT, volunteer, have good friends and hobbies I enjoy. More fundamentally, we live in a safe, secure country, which is a functioning democracy (even if we didn't vote for the current Government, at least we have the right to express our views). We have laws to protect us and a welfare state to support us. Millions of people in the world would love our lives, tbh.

I agree with the PP, I think this might be because you’re going through some really tough family stuff.

I feel tired a lot. Like I don’t have enough time to do the things I want to do. Like I’m less patient with DH and the kids than I’d like to be. And yes I feel a deep sigh when it’s 10pm and I’ve still got to put laundry on or wash up or whatever. But I’ve got a lovely family, a safe home, a job I enjoy and the world is still a very beautiful place.

Give it a rest. If people are unhappy and struggling, can't you just hear them?

Some of you really are dealing with some difficult stuff, and although I'm not faced with some of the challenges described above, I just want to say I hope life looks brighter soon.

Unfortunately, I agree. Life is just so much more difficult & dull now. I expect and want things to progress but life just seems so much more crap than 15 years ago. Things I’ve noticed recently..

1. I used to go to the Dr & he/she would give me a blood test there & then if required. Now, I have to go to another appt at a hospital for this in 10 days-2 weeks. Why?

2. I find lots of people nowadays rude & lacking in personality & any sort of humour. I feel like we’re in a clone state or heading there at a rapid rate

3. I love mooching round shops/going into town. Now, it’s depressing, charity/coffee shops with loads of empty units

4. I place fun/doing nice things as high importance but I have no time these days & I either clean all day Saturday or if I choose to do something nice, cleaning gets left. This has happened recently so now I’m having to book a day of AL just to clean🙄

The price of everything has gone up & I feel like I’m being ripped off. Just this week, £134 for a scale & polish & £126 for a 10 minute vet appt which included £68 for 2 sets of eye drops that I could’ve bought online for £19😭

Everyone just seems to muddle along with the mundane.

I will be fine at Christmas when I’m off work drinking mulled wine, enjoying panto & all the lovely food & chocolate but every day life I find harder & I used to absolutely LOVE life, it was easy & great!

No, not really.

But then my life isn't that of the "average" mid 30 year old. Single apart from the odd fwb, no kids. I have loads of time to myself and lots of hobbies. I've been on holiday 8 times this year so far. Job is interesting, decently if not amazingly paid and very flexible, colleagues are nice. I could probably climb the career ladder if I wanted to but cba with the extra work and stress when I don't need the money so just cruise along.

The house is as tidy or messy as I make it so no frustration at anyone else.

The COL does hit when youre the only one bringing in money but the converse to that is I only have to think of myself when deciding what to spend/sacrifice - if I decide to have soup and a jacket potato every day and spent the money on holiday I can, if I need money I could rent out the spare room to a lodger and it would only impact on me.

Obviously there are advantages and disadvantages to every lifestyle and different things suit different people but I find it interesting when there's generally an air of pity towards people, particularly women who aren't coupled up and don't have kids, yet anecdotally my life and that of my other single friends seems so much happier and less stressful than those following the "traditional" plan.

Oh here we go...

I'm actually pissed off with how many social invitations I'm having thrust on me lately. I feel like shouting 'don't you realise I have shit to do!!!!'

It's never ending. Work demands, kids demands, constant things to remember with school and nursery and appointments, weekends taken up with kids commitments, my house is a shit tip all of the time and other than the basics I have no time to sort it. Now I have Christmas to prepare for. Dh helps but the vast majority of the mental load falls on me always.

I only work part time and still I'm run ragged, I don't know how people working f/t do it.

No, I will not ‘give it a rest’.

Many are suffering because of this Government, and I will keep that front and centre.

How predictable. The front and centre of this particular thread is people's human suffering. You won't read the room. I won't divert the thread by pursuing this.

That would be appreciated.