To have refused to sign this parenting contract about attendance

[NoContract]

Dd is 15. Attendance is very low (62%). Has never been above 80% since starting secondary.

Dd has multiple medical issues. We have given so many letters from consultants. For the last year if she has for example had a regular illness eg d and v we have had to get proof (a GP appt) or threats of fines are immediate.

Today I was asked to sign a contract that I will make sure attendance improves. I refused as I have no control over it - I’m really thinking now that home education is the only way forward ? Because I refused I was told there will be further referrals made ? Feel like I’m going mad and talking to a brick wall if it was that simple and I could sort things out I would have ??!!

Dd has asked me not to disclose the conditions as there are a lot and may be identifying. I’m able to say they are all long term / permanent and that we are currently not having much luck finding effective therapies

They have had multiple letters from dd’s consultants, they seem to accept it all and then ask for GP proof of all other illnesses . I feel as if they are having to maybe give these letters to someone ‘higher up’ (The council attendance officer maybe?) as it’s so strict they havent said they doubt any illnesses outright but I feel as if I’m not believed . The wanting clarification over my thresholds as well felt like they were looking for a reason to criticise my parenting.

That make sense, I think that’s often the case. The whole system needs an overhaul. It’s a horrible to feel challenged and criticised.

I think some aspects they do have to be curious about because some children DO miss school for reasons relating to parenting or the parent’s needs, sometimes becomes a safeguarding issue, so some questioning is needed but it’s also about how that’s delivered.

I highly doubt you would be fined and I would try to not worry about that. I’ve been in court where a parent who really was at fault and the child’s absences were almost wholly due to parenting issues, and she got off. I cannot imagine where there is medical evidence, a court would not see this as legitimate.

Fwiw the setting of a temperature threshold is ridiculous - I have a very low basic body temperature (below 36) and a health condition, so 38° is a really bad fever for me, I feel shit at 37.5. My normal temp is so low that I got odd looks from shop staff with forehead temp readers during covid...

Please do what you can for your daughter under Equality Law.

Apparently this is what the nhs advice is the school sent me a link to the page and said they want it to be 38 or over and from their thermometer which I said absolutely no to

Maybe a referral for further help would be good for you and your DD? It sounds as though there are ongoing issues.

What “therapies” have been tried? Maybe some outside input would help your dd to cope with school and get her back to be with her peers

Dd is seen regularly by consultants plus other health professionals. The last thing we need is more appointments, it’s stressful enough keeping up with it all and adding more would just be too much. If it would make a difference it might be worth it but she’s under all the medical teams and they are the ones capable of helping. I don’t want more appts just so the school can tick boxes

I think it’s important to support her being in school more, and it’s not all just tickboxes, it’s about the welfare of the child.

I think you should perhaps be a little more open minded about the concerns. They clearly don’t believe the reasons for all the absences and are worried about it.

In that case they need to contact the consultants and the GP as it’s their letters they would be questioning.

Have you engaged with the school nurse? Does your DD have a care plan (not an EHCP), a plan purely for health? Have the school offered home tuition? Have you spoken with the pastoral lead?

Nope! Then they are in charge of timescales and could drag it out. Do it yourself then you have more control. IPSEA website is very helpful.

This, 100%.

If you sign it, you're indicating that past absences were in some way avoidable. They weren't. You have been providing evidence of her medical appointments and condition. Your Dd clearly needs support in her situation, not harassment.

Complaints process time. I'd ask them to acknowledge your evidence to put a stop to the inappropriate dishonestly insinuation, then work with you to help your Dd recover her learning.

I don't accept that schools have to send these letters out. We're the adults here and admin need to act like it.

She has a support plan for things like previously not doing PE (not relevant now as doesn’t have to anymore) plus various help around school / toilet pass / lunch pass etc etc

Agree, I consider myself being unwell if I get to 37, because I usually run much cooler!

Taking into account the chronic health conditions, I’d be tempted to go down the route of ‘I’ll absolutely sign a contract to work on increasing her participation in education, once there’s an appropriate ECHP in place. With the amount you’re raising her attendance, you clearly see it as a significant issue that’s impacting her education - and as the medical
professionals have stated on multiple occasions this is a result of her conditions.’

(Key word being participation rather than attendance. Some good quality remote learning provision may be actually useful for you and her).