How long wait for an 'I love you'

[DutchPanda]

I told my partner of 9 months that I love him. The tumbleweed rolled for a bit, and then he admitted he doesn't love me yet and doesn't know if he ever will. Ouch

I give him kudos for being honest but am very hurt. I said that I'd wait a bit but not forever to see if feelings might develop.

We are both middle-aged and dating post divorce, so I understand caution and taking things slow. We see each other (exclusively) about once week but he's not introduced me to friends / family yet.

Reality check request please - should I move on? Would just value an outside perspective.

Using you for sex. If he says he loves you, that's translated by men into meaning they have top pull their finger out and do something serious (house, joint assets, marriage, kids, etc etc).

He's enjoying the freedom/flexibility.

@DutchPanda after 9 months, if he hasn't introduced you to any friends, and isn't sure that he loves you yet, then this really isn't meant to be.

This. I think I'd move on.

I said it after 8 months. He hugged me but kept me waiting for another two weeks before he said it... 😂. We've been together 4 years now and very much in love.

I have lived with my ex-partner for 10 years and we are still close friends. The relationship came to an end because of very stressful times but we stayed in quite close contact and can count on one another.
I love him, and he loves me - just no longer in a romantic man/woman-setting.
No one has said "I love you" in all these years, but the love is there.
Some people find outing love very difficult, others find their actions overthrow words, others find it too corny.
Good luck, whatever you decide.

That’s cute, I’d probably have felt crushed or a bit unsettled if I didn’t hear it back immediately but in this case he was probably processing it and making sure he felt the same before saying it back which is nice!

@Loxiro I believe what I actually did was to start a MN thread....! 😂 😂

@OrlandointheWilderness

I can imagine the replies you got probably added to any doubts/panic you had 😂🤣 glad it worked out well anyway!

Oh LTB! 😂

MN said LTB? What a surprise 😂

You deserve so much better OP. Dump him and move on to a man who loves and values you xxx

Hahahahahaha!!!!!

I think I'd move on not because he can't say it now but because he doesn't know if he ever will and you haven't met his friends

The fact that he’s not introduced you to family is very telling. He doesn’t sound very invested. You definitely deserve better.

I will say though Re. Not introducing you to family I can understand if he has children and/or if his split with his ex was quite recent and his kids are still adjusting (even if they’re adults)

I know my friend didn’t introduce her now former partner to her kids for two years. I mean they were young primary school aged children, but even now when they’re young adults she still doesn’t want to rush in with introducing them to new partners.

It’s a bit unusual about not introducing you to friends though unless maybe he never sees them or something?

This is very uncommon set up?!

Do either of you have romantic partners? Is this not awkward if so? Sorry to be nosey😂