WWYD-child alone on car

[Moorethemerrier]

Need some advice. If I handled this correctly and what others would have done

Pulled into shops today and car next to me has a child (roughly 2yrs old) asleep in the car. It’s 1degrees here today and has been snowing. I stood by the car for 5 mins and took a photo of the number plate to go into to shops to ask for them to do a tannoy announcement. I walked around to find someone who wasn’t serving but didn’t want to not be able to see the car so instead I went back out to stand by the car as thought that might be best incase the child woke. I was in two minds to call the police as I don’t know how long this child’s been sleeping in there.
Out comes and man with a couple of bags of shopping pushing a buggy. I ask him if it’s his car/child and tell him how irresponsible it is to leave child alone in the car. He is instantly abrasive telling me to mind my own and he has a hard day and stop judging him. We go back and forth with me just generally trying to make him understand that it’s extremely irresponsible as it’s freezing. I tell him I had taken a photo of the car and was going to call police if he hadn’t returned. He starts getting annoyed it being GDPR and I’m breaking the law taking a photo of his car with his child in it and tells me he is phoning to police on me for taking a photo of his car.
Anyway due to him becoming aggressive the fact he has left the child I decide to just phone them anyway as I didn’t know if it would
escalate and it’s dark outside with no one else in close proximity.
He comes at me to hand the phone over so he can talk to them himself, I obviously refuse. We have a bit of back and forth and eventually off he speeds in his car.

I rung my DH in the way home as I needed to offload and was obviously shaken. He has gone off at me telling me I should have minded my own business, that im a ‘Karen’ and I should have done nothing.

Now I genuinely feel so bad. I’m not usually one to judge people and after was thinking what if he is just having the worst time and trying to do his best and I’ve now reported him neglecting his child. What would you have done in this situation? Should I have just made sure he returned then left. AIBU or you have called the police. I fear I’ve done the wrong thing!

I think calling the police was fair enough but the continued discussion seemed over the top. Nobody wants a lecture from a stranger. A short ‘WTF… you can’t leave a baby in the car’ gets the point across.

The only mistake you made was not calling the police as soon as you determined the child was abandoned in the car.

Use some brain cells. Obviously could the owner of car reg XXXX XXX come to reception. It's not hard.

really? We can just go to customer services at Tesco and ask then to tannoy for someone we dont know because we want to speak to them? They would be happy to do that? I get it for a bump but, i want you to tannoy for this reg number because i want to tell them off’?! Doesnt seem likely to me.

I think it says a lot about your DH that he sympathises more with the man doing the wrong thing rather than the baby in danger. To the point of lashing out at you. Interesting reaction indeed.

Is there a law against leaving kids in cars? In Australia it’s illegal. The police will be called and you can be charged. Probably because it is hot here most of the time and even in winter the car can heat up quickly. In summer it takes minutes - can’t even leave them for a couple minutes to dash in and get milk. I used to be nervous about leaving mine in the car to go in and pay for petrol, but I always felt 3 kids walking across the petrol station was a bigger risk.

lots of kids and animals die in cars here. The procedure here would be to call the police and call roadside assistance - if you tell them a child or animal is in the car they will prioritise the call and come immediately to break into the car and get them out. Even the time it takes to go into the shops and find someone to make the announcement is too long and they could die. If it was a hot day and roadside and the police were too far away I imagine the police would tell you to smash a window to get them out.

Your husband is in the wrong.
you did everything right 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Just as parents and drivers of vehicles are told not to leave children and pets in cars on very hot days, I think there is something to be said for doing the same on very cold days too.

I think you did the right thing but I do think when you discovered the child asleep in the car you should have phoned the non-emergency number for the police and also gone to the information desk in the supermarket asking them to do an announcement that the police have been called for the owner of vehicle XXXX99999.

This would imply that it is an offence...

@Moorethemerrier I would have done the same as you up until the point the parent returned to the car and you confronted him. I would have asked 'is this your child in the car?' and told him I was concerned given his age and the weather, but I wouldn't have contacted the police until I was home.

Looking out for a child is never the wrong thing to do.

Very unsupportive of your DH. Calling you that name as well😤

Didn't she say 2 years old?

It's in the 2nd sentence!

Look at the edit history; I assume OP added their age in after this comment.

If you read the post it says roughly two years old.

You absolutely did the right thing to stay with the car and try to Alert a staff member. I would have said something on his return but not laboured the point nor would he I have mentioned photographing the car

Haha @ Karen

Why bother talking to the bloke at all if you're going to call the police? Let them do the talking.

I would still report it if I were you.

Your partner is an idiot. Not sure I could see past his lack of concern for a vulnerable toddler - turning that into a "Karen" attack is truly awful. Does he always treat you like this?

You are not a Karen. People call the police for a dog left alone in a car, let alone a child.
I want to know why this prick left his child in the car if he was pushing a buggy around the shops? Why couldn't he take his child in the buggy?
you did the right thing OP, you cared about the welfare of a child. End of

Lol I love it when people throw 'GDPR' around without a scrap of knowledge about what it means or how it is applied 😂

You 100% did the right thing. If that was a dog left in a car on a hot day the police wouldn't hesitate to smash the windows. Cold weather aside, the thought of leaving a child that young completely unsupervised and out of sight gives me chills. I probably wouldn't have gotten so far into a back forth tho, if only for your own safety - I know it's easy to say when you're not in thar situation but I'd have probably stayed until the dad came back and then left quietly and reported him.

Don’t beat yourself up about this OP.

Your concern was this child’s safety. You are not a bad person!

The man in question could have reacted so differently. He could have been apologetic and explained to you how he was having a bad day, didn’t want to wake the toddler etc. but he reacted like an aggressive arsehole, which is not your fault.

You did the right thing to stay with the child, definitely, and plenty wouldn't, so well done for that.

Although couldn't you have found someone else to alert a member of staff? Why did you tell him you were going to phone the police if he hadn't returned, and then phone the police even when he had?

Had you phoned the police straight away I'd have said fine, but you waited to tell the man off yourself before doing so (which makes me think you simply wanted to confront him) and that was never going to end well. Safer (and perhaps less self-righteous) to let the police deal with him.

It's a good job he got you and not a predator ready to smash and grab an innocent tot, or a drunk driver crashing into his parked car. You did the right thing reporting it, he needs to give his head a wobble at the very least.

I had this dilemma at about 5pm last night when I brought my 18-month-old granddaughter home from hospital where she had been diagnosed with what they thought was hand, foot and mouth but could be chicken pox. DD had been with us but is 36 weeks pregnant and had to stay there for a few more hours because she was also unwell and had signs of what they thought was pre eclampsia. She wanted me to bring DGD home as by then she was tired, hungry and getting fed up and it was rammed up there.
I had to pop into Morrisons pharmacy to get DGD’s medication and although I parked as close as I could, I couldn’t see her from the car. She had fallen asleep and I couldn’t have taken her in as she was contagious. When I came out she was still fast asleep and the car was still fairly warm. DD is a single parent as am I. I didn’t see an alternative if we were to start getting the medication into her that evening. I suppose I could have asked the security guard who was standing just inside the store to wait by the car but I don’t know if he would have done.
As it turned out DD was released from hospital a couple of hours later but we didn’t know how long they’d keep her or even if she would have to be admitted. I certainly wouldn’t have left DGD to do a routine shop, only in what I felt was exceptional circumstances.
On the same day my older DD was having what we strongly believe is a miscarriage and an ambulance crew had been called to my 91-year-old DM so no other family members were available to help.