To not send a photo to the Dr?

[swissrollisntswiss]

DS (4) has a rash around his anus. Very red, with a very clear border. He’s had it for a week now, we’ve tried sudacream but it’s not helped. He’s now complaining that it’s itchy and getting sore. I’ve looked for worms but can’t see any so I’m fairly sure it isn’t that.

After calling the surgery all day I finally get through and I’m told that they can’t see him but to email a photo. I’m not comfortable with this, it feels too private. I’ve sent one when he’s had an eye infection previously, I’m fine with the system but not for this. Is it just me? AIBU?

For full context, I’m not in the UK, I’m British though so not sure if I’m being too British!

But you're telling that child it's ok for an adult to cross your boundaries and take a photo of an intimate area. "It's just a bumhole" doesn't wash with me. It's the boundary of an adult invading a child's right to privacy that I, and clearly the OP and others, object to.

The child's identity will be linked to the photo as otherwise the surgery won't know which patient it is.

It's just not an appropriate or secure way of handling this.

I don't think it's teaching children this at all. It's ok for certain trusted adults (parents and doctors) to cross the 'boundaries' sometimes. Unless the child is against itm Boundaries is more about inappropriate contact and consent which this isn't.

@VegTrug - that's always been my concern. No inappropriate images but I'd prefer the 1000000x photos of my child aren't accessible to strangers. We've got all our old devices in a cupboard. Can you recommend how to destroy/ appropriately recycle them?

It's not ok for ANY adult to take photos of intimate parts of children under any circumstances.

Maybe but can you really see a judge actually prosecuting this? I can't. The law isn't there to stop parents accessing medical help. Especially if it's not the parent's idea to take the photo.

The only way to fully guarantee it's all gone is to smash the hard drive within the device. This used to be part of my job and oh boy it was fun!

Have you treated for thrush?

I also wouldn't bother checking for worms. Just treat anyway. Never understood the torch at night thing.

If treatment those things don't clear it up then someone needs a look. I don't think I'd be comfortable taking a photo of my kids backside like

Well I have learnt something today!

Ian a pretty relaxed parent on the whole and I would draw a firm line on this one. You have zero control over this image once you hit send. They wouldn’t ask an adult to send a picture of their anus so why on earth it is ok to take a child who doesn’t understand the concept of “consent” to do the same.

I would refuse and ask it is documented you are not comfortable with this and demand an in person appointment.

also, I know the chances are slim BUT a member of staff could take a photo of your photo on their phone and send it to anyone they wish

Thanks @VegTrug

I wouldn't send a picture of this or any other intimate area for that matter,
It is a criminal offence to do so anyway.

You should not be expected to send any pictures of an intimate area to the doctor or any area you feel uncomfortable with. Plesee do not feel compelled to do this. Surgeries in the uk usually make it clear that no pictures of intimate areas should be sent and that includes a child’s

The day I was asked to send a pic of one of my dcs face (part of their right cheeks and mouth, so not whole face) to the surgery, they sent me a secure nhs surgery link where I had to click, log in using dc date of birth and nhs no, then upload the photo to their system and log out. It was encoded so that only they could access and view it and either put it in dcs record or remove it afterwards. I think I could remove it too but I can't remember.

If they wanted me to send a pic of dc's bum, they'd definitely use the same secure system, not through email.

It's a sensitive but medical pic taken for medical reasons uploaded to a medical system for assessment and diagnosis from a medical professional. It's different from a random pic of a child's bumhole taken for no reason. I deleted dcs side face from my phone afterwards and I'd sure delete the pic of their bum afterwards. There's no criminal offence there. It's not a "computer says no" type of issue where the circumstances aren't taken into account.

Also, I'm sure dc would actually prefer I took the pic of their bum simply to show a doc so that they can get some medical treatment as opposed to showing a doc their bum irl. That's mortifying. They're more comfortable with me doing so, as they trust me and I'm not just 'any grown adult', than a doc who is technicially the 'random grown adult' regardless of profession.

Honestly if you are going to be silly about sending a photo of an unidentified 4 year old's bumhole then life is going to be quite tough. There will be fewer and fewer opportunities to see doctors and if some perv wants to see a kids bum I'm sure they would just get out their credit card and sign up. This is your kids health, just get on and do it.

It’s against the law to send pictures like that online. Doesn’t matter if it’s a doctor asking.
Get your email account hacked and you are in big trouble.

Ring the surgery and explain

Check out his symptoms for perianal step.

🤍

If you haven't done so already, check his bottom at night, with a torch, as worms exit at night. You are unlikely to see them in the day.

• The 4 year old is identified by their name and DoB in the mail
• Its illegal to have and share such pictures in the UK and many other countries
• If the only way (outside of a pandemic) to see a doctor is to take (illegal) intimate pictures of minors and send them through public protocols then its time to change doctor

absolutely agog at how many people on MN would happily do this without a care. just because a dr (actually drs receptionist) said so.

no.call them

As anther,poster has suggested it could be thrush and canestan cream would help,put that on first then a barrier cream like sudocrem on top of it.
Twice a day should do it and continue for a day or two once it’s cleared.
it’s likely to be that he’s not wiped his bottom properly and it’s got sore, and it will be sore now so he won’t wipe his bum properly while it is sore,so you’ll need to check,gross I know but worth it to clear it up quickly.