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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there is something strange with my neighbours

103 replies

Tahdahdah · 18/11/2024 21:47

New neighbours moved in a few months ago. Hard to work our who lives there. Have passed them in the street and said hello trying to be friendly, but they don't engage. Middle aged woman seems to be the only consistent one at the property. She regularly walks up the street, waits outside someone else's house for 10/15 mins, eventually someone comes and picks her up in a car. Later on sge gets dropped off but never outside her own home. Have seen semi official people talking to her on the street - they wear lanyards. She never seems happy to be speaking to them. It always looks quite heated and she seems very defensive.

It just seems odd that if she's waiting for a lift, why not just wait in her house or on her own drive. Why does she never invite the lanyard wearing people in.

I know I seem like a right nosey neighbour, but I can't help feeling something isn't right with her. What if she needs some help? Is she a victim of people smuggling/modern day slavery?

AIBU yes - mind your own business and keep well our of it
No - it is odd and you should follow your gut.

OP posts:
MumChp · 18/11/2024 21:48

None of your business.

Pancakeflipper · 18/11/2024 21:50

You'll be told none of your business. But I'd be intrigued. Though I live on a little street and we all know each other.

ArminTamzerian · 18/11/2024 21:50

She's a victim of a curtain twitching neighbour who needs to get a hobby..ie you.

Noseybookworm · 18/11/2024 22:11

As long as they are not causing any issues I would mind your own business and just be pleasant and say hello if you see her.

DazedAndConfused321 · 18/11/2024 22:39

Ooh how intriguing!

How many people live there? People with lanyards could be social services?

The lifts not outside her house thing is odd!

LifeisNOTlikeemmerdalefarm · 18/11/2024 22:57

Maybe she doesn't want the person picking her up know the exact house she lives in.

Hemorrhoids · 18/11/2024 22:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Scutterbug · 18/11/2024 23:00

I suffer MH issues and don’t leave the house. Last year for a while I had a support worker to try to get me out and about. I would meet her at the end of the road so the neighbours didn’t gossip about MH workers being at my house again (I’ve been sectioned several times and the neighbours have seen psychs entering my home and asked me about it). So I want privacy. Could be the same sort of thing for her.

MarvelJesus · 18/11/2024 23:03

Scutterbug · 18/11/2024 23:00

I suffer MH issues and don’t leave the house. Last year for a while I had a support worker to try to get me out and about. I would meet her at the end of the road so the neighbours didn’t gossip about MH workers being at my house again (I’ve been sectioned several times and the neighbours have seen psychs entering my home and asked me about it). So I want privacy. Could be the same sort of thing for her.

Thank you for sharing your story. I was going to suggest something like this, so I’m glad to hear a first hand account.

Op - butt out and let the woman have the privacy she is trying to hang on to.

Tahdahdah · 19/11/2024 06:55

Update, a random man knocked on my door last night, when I went to answer he took one look at me and said 'oh sorry, I wanted number 40' and off he went. He didn't even ask if so and so was there. He didn't have a lanyard but was wearing a blue hi vis vest.

She quite often stands at the bottom of my drive. I've had to ask her if she could move to the side so I can get my car off. 😂If she wanted privacy I would have expected her to be further away from her home and not be next door but one to where she lives.

I've had friends visiting me comment that the same woman is always hanging around on the street so it's not just me who thinks it's odd. 🤔

OP posts:
NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 19/11/2024 07:08

Maybe if so many people didn’t take the mind your own business route the world would be a better place.

OP I would absolutely find out what those lanyards are about. If the neighbour was a man people would be saying it sounds dodgy. Being a woman doesn’t make it any less so.

HelpMeGetThrough · 19/11/2024 07:28

I bet you were an absolute gem of a neighbour during Covid.

slashlover · 19/11/2024 07:32

So you posted this at 9:47pm last night and have now updated this morning about a man knocking on your door last night, Was this after 10pm?

SapphireOpal · 19/11/2024 07:34

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 19/11/2024 07:08

Maybe if so many people didn’t take the mind your own business route the world would be a better place.

OP I would absolutely find out what those lanyards are about. If the neighbour was a man people would be saying it sounds dodgy. Being a woman doesn’t make it any less so.

If they're doing something dodgy why would they be wearing lanyards?!

She presumably has some kind of professionals involved (social services, medical help of some kind, etc) but that's really none of OP's business.

DurinsBane · 19/11/2024 07:36

Please update if you ever find out what is going on! 😁

Sunshineandrainbow · 19/11/2024 07:38

Maybe a bit out there but could she be a prostitute. Lanyard people could be looking out for her.

ByHardyRubyEagle · 19/11/2024 07:42

We have lots if housing down the road that’s been allocated as assisted living for the disabled. As a result we see lots of lanyard wearing people out walking with those in assisted living as they’ll be carers and support workers.

1990s · 19/11/2024 07:43

Sunshineandrainbow · 19/11/2024 07:38

Maybe a bit out there but could she be a prostitute. Lanyard people could be looking out for her.

I thought this. Especially with the update about the man. I’ve experienced similar.

Tahdahdah · 19/11/2024 07:43

That's a good point that the lanyard people are helping her. I would hate to think that her odd behaviour was a sign she needed help and all her neighbours were just ignoring it. 🙄

OP posts:
Tahdahdah · 19/11/2024 07:44

slashlover · 19/11/2024 07:32

So you posted this at 9:47pm last night and have now updated this morning about a man knocking on your door last night, Was this after 10pm?

Yes

OP posts:
ClicketyClickPlusOne · 19/11/2024 07:46

What do you mean ‘follow your gut’? What would you actually do?

Tahdahdah · 19/11/2024 07:46

HelpMeGetThrough · 19/11/2024 07:28

I bet you were an absolute gem of a neighbour during Covid.

Based on the fact that I'm concerned about a neighbour?

OP posts:
Tahdahdah · 19/11/2024 07:50

ByHardyRubyEagle · 19/11/2024 07:42

We have lots if housing down the road that’s been allocated as assisted living for the disabled. As a result we see lots of lanyard wearing people out walking with those in assisted living as they’ll be carers and support workers.

That's a really good point. Maybe they are carers. You might have solved the mystery and put my mind at rest that she's not in need of help.

OP posts:
AlmostCutMyHairToday · 19/11/2024 07:54

"To report a suspicion or get advice you can contact the Modern Slavery Helpline confidentially on 08000 121 700. This is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year."

OneGreenOrca · 19/11/2024 08:28

MYOB. I can't abide nosey people who attempt to dress it up as some kind of faux concern.