Ensuite

[Biggles27]

We have a bathroom and an ensuite off our bedroom

we have a couple coming to stay with us at Christmas

they will have sole use of the main bathroom

we will have sole use of the ensuite

the main bathroom has a shower over the bath

their house only has a shower over the bath, one loo in the bathroom

we have two loos upstairs and one downstairs

we were talking about the upcoming visit tonight and my friend (of nearly 50 years) said we are so looking forward to using your shower as it will be nice not to have to climb in the bath

i I was a bit taken aback

i wouldn't dream of using someone’s ensuite but aibu and should I allow them access? It’s the other side of our bedroom so it means full access to our bedroom (and dirty laundry basket!). I was going to say sorry but the ensuite is private as is our bedroom but I could be being totally unreasonable and it might be a me issue

tge ensuite has been out of action for years but we’ve just had it fixed and bought into use so it’s not been an issue in the past

Is she struggling with mobility? I like my stand alone shower but would never think climbing into a bath one would be a problem.

Are you sure they're not just confused about which bathroom has which shower?

I like climbing into my over bath shower, keeps me limber.

OP it’s awkward though, no way would I want people using the ensuite (not that I have one) if it meant coming into my bedroom .

I’d message her and say oops, you weren’t thinking when she mentioned the shower but you don’t have a stand alone shower in the main bathroom, so it’ll still be a shower over a bath.

This, surely. Just say "Ah, no, wrong way round friend, it's our ensuite that has that, you've got the main bathroom."

Feign ignorance. “Oh dear you must be misremembering, our bathroom has a shower over bath too! Sorry to disappoint…”

No mobility issues and their shower is over their bath and their bath is taller than ours so more difficult to get in and out of

They’ve stayed in our house at least 30 times so no I doubt it

I like this reply, thank you

Another excellent reply, thank you

If its someone you like enough to invite to stay 30 times you presumably like them? I really couldn't get too annoyed if they were actual friends. This isn't to say I use other people's ensuites but if my good friend was that excited to use my shower I think I'd just ask them to excuse the state of my bedroom and let them get on with it

Blimey, we let all of our friends & family use the shower in our en suite if they want to.
Nothing to hide in the bedroom and I have no idea why anyone would want access to my laundry basket

When they arrive, just show them to their room and say “this is your bathroom - we thought it’d be easier for you to use this one rather than the en suite. Saves you having to traipse through our room! Let us know if you need extra towels/blankets” etc. No sane guest would object to this, surely?

What's so shocking about your laundry basket?

Nothing but it doesn’t have a cover so all the dirty laundry is on display and you have to go past it! I’m not sure I want people literally seeing my dirty underwear nor husbands

If you don’t want to tell your friend in advance that she won’t be using your en-suite, just say when you are showing them to their room, that you’ve left a pile of fresh towels in the bathroom for them. Keep your bedroom door locked. Job done,

Honestly, I wouldn’t like anyone to use my en-suite and certainly not walking through my bedroom. Both rooms are always clean and tidy but I count them as private spaces.

My in-laws have a rubbish shower over their bath and a very good shower in their ensuite we always use their shower. I wouldn't only do it with family though not friends

Have they stayed with you before? Maybe they're assuming that they'll be sleeping in the main bedroom with the ensuite, and you'll move into the spare room?

Fine, but it's ok for OP to have different standards.

My bedroom is private and off limits to visitors, even my sister.

Why no cover? What about the dirty-laundry smell?

Not had a cover in 18 years as we have open baskets -no smell??? We don’t wear our clothes till they’re smelly and both bath/shower daily and use deodorant Husband doesn’t have smelly feet either (nor do I)

I mean, it sounds like a strange thing to look forward to.

"We are so looking forward to seeing you again and chatting about what we've done this year".

"It will be so nice to see you again and relax with you over a glass of wine"

"It will be so nice to visit you and not have to climb out of the shower"

Pick one of the above, that, well, a normal polite person would say.

Buy a new basket with a lid! Simples!

You're questioning whether you're unreasonable by not wanting guests walking through your room to have a shower? Surely you know you're not!

I'm sure they don't want to walk in on you half dressed or having sex. Nor do they want to knock and wait.

I doubt they have any expectation to use your en-suite and it's a mistake.

But do you want them traipsing through to your en-suite for a shit and shower when you're having a lie in?