Baby cried in public. Friend made me feel embarrassed.

[Mustard7]

I have a 6 month old. He cried briefly whilst I was out with some friends the other day. Namely because he head butted me and he is teething too. Plus, babies just cry sometimes. It was unexpected as my baby is usually so placid.

What did bother me was a ‘jokey’ comment from one of my friends - ‘OMG control that child’.

He was fine shortly after but perhaps a little bit wobbly. The same friend took him at one point and then hastily said ‘you can have him back’.

I can’t put my finger on why this has stuck with me but I can’t stop thinking about it.

This friend is going through a tough time herself at the moment. She’s one of my favourite people and I know would never intend to make me feel this way but I do feel judged. She cooed over my baby at different moments too but it’s probably human nature to focus on a negative comment.

Perhaps I need to look outwardly than inwardly.

AIBU to feel upset about this? Was my friend a little out of line or do I need to grow a thicker skin when she was clearly joking?

I think you are probably over reacting, however it's not clear from your post - you say you were out with a group of friends? Were you the only one whe had their baby there? Was it expected that your baby would be there?

If it was a girly lunch out, and no one had expected you to bring your baby, then I can imagine why a crying baby might spoil the occasion.

Sounds like she was very clearly joking to me. The fact that you were also bothered by her saying 'you can have him back' when he was 'a bit wobbly' suggests to me that you're quite over-sensitive about this stuff. Not everyone is comfortable cuddling babies if the baby's fidgeting or seems irritable. I like babies but I would also laugh and say 'you'd better have him back' in that situation too. It doesn't mean I don't like the baby or find it cute. It just means the baby isn't the centre of my universe because i'm not the baby's parent.

Some people are just horrible though.

I had a woman shout " fucking prams". at me when I was crossing the road with my first born .
I was actually in the middle of the road and she was on the pavement so it wasn't a case of being in her way or bumping into her.

She can't have been serious surely, thinking you have control over a 6 month old babe 😳

I'm guessing she has no DC and if he was a bit restless doesn't understand they're not easy to regulate! You're tired. I wouldn't read too much into what she said as it shows her inexperience with DC. Your lives are on different paths and you may find youre relationship drifts anyway.

An old man in Sainsburys told me that prams were a liability and were going to be banned from the store. I just said okay and continued my shopping.

The baby in said pram is now nearly 13 and prams still haven't been banned from that store 😆

It's a joke FFS! I know on Mumsnet no one is allowed to say anything jokingly to their friends - but come on!

Seriously you'd drift away from a friend over what is clearly a joke?

I would so say something like this as a joke. I think your friend was joking, no malice meant. I do get you though, we are a bit more sensitive after we have had a baby. Don't like feeling judged. I wouldn't stress about this one though op.

I well believe it was a joke. However she won't have realised the significance of what she said or how it would make any mum feel. You're absolutely right to feel the way you do.

It sounds like a jokey thing to me. But I have learnt, thanks to MN and an autistic daughter, that a lot of people take things veryliterally, so it isn't something that i would say. Probably would have pre-MN though, without any malice 💐
I hand babies back if they appear to want their mum but always happy to hold if mum has her hands full.

Some of your friends will just be unbaby people - Not everyone likes or is comfortable round babies. She felt awkward, babies can be incredibly loud and can seem frighteningly fragile.

You're post childbirth, which takes some adjusting. Your baby is now the centre of your world and any perceived criticism, you'll take very much to heart because your overwhelming drive is to protect.

All best to you.