Undermined or not?

[Holiday0007]

I'm a male manager in a school. Feeling undermined by another male colleague.
Behaviours include sending new ideas for department to principal asking her permission, and informing me via email after. Handing in work that had a long deadline last minute but it's clear v little time had been spent on it (can see this from document details), on numerous occasions.

Setting a competition for pupil, then only letting me know the day before that he was travelling a few hours away with pupil to take part in competition. Cover has been sorted etc prior to all of tgis. Organising a speaker to come in to speak to his class of pupils while I was off sick for a day. I find out through whole staff email.

Asking me to check and finish off work.

Are you his manager?

If yes you are then you need to speak to him about keeping you informed prior to events. You really need to have line management meetings to discuss things like this.

If you are say, Head of Humanities and he is Head of Geography - then I would expect him to be proactive like this for his subject and him to keep you updated but not necessarily asking for your permission.

Yes his manager.

So for example you are Head of Geography and he is a Geography teacher in your department? (Obviously the subject might not be Geography).

Did you start at the same time?

It's disrespectful, what do your school procedures say about keeping you informed?

Yes cherryana, correct. No I started first and am a bit older.

No official procedures in place i don't think. Just expectations I'm sure. I was just checking here as you can lose sight of what you think is right after so long I think.

From what you have said his behaviour is odd. I wondered if you were a new manager but he came into your department.

You will have to bring it up directly with him.
It’s easier if you do stuff like that at the time because now you have a few issues.

Tell him that you appreciate the energy and commitment to the job he has shown but as the manager that ideas/trips/speakers need to be run by you as a matter of courtesy.

Thanks cherry. Yes I need to address some things. I think the other things are to try to impress higher bosses, as the basic work I ask isn't being done to a great standard, possibly another way of showing disrespect towards me.

He sounds so annoying.

Never mind annoying, it's downright rude, disrespectful and unprofessional. OP, this has gone too far already, a meeting to discuss his professional candour is needed ASAP.

If you're his manager, then manage him OP! Make it clear that there is a chain of command, and that EVERYTHING goes through you. I don't have any experience of how school management works, but if possible, I would be telling him that failure to go through you, showing you the respect that is required as his manager, will result in disciplinary action, and that as his performance isn't up to scratch at present, you will be keeping a close eye on him. You sound as if you're a bit scared to deal with this man, is this your first position in management OP?

you're his manager
you need to manage him.

Point out where he has overstepped the mark, and be clear about your expectations going forward

First position yes, its been small things over time that have built up I think. I have tried to address things in a more subtle way but now I think I more direct approach is required. Thanks for advice and reassurance that these things are not OK. I do give clear, reasonable deadlines with reminders, set out tasks clearly and all minuted. I make sure things are in writing as well as verbal now after some grievances of 'I didnt know that'. Even though some of these things were already in emails!!

Schools are different to companies though.

Op, if you're not already in one, join a union. Sounds like you might need their support going forward if a chat doesn't work.

Further to my earlier response, and you having updated to say it is your first management position, now is the time to gather your confidence, and be firm with this guy. You were obviously chosen as a manager for your capabilities OP, so you CAN do this! Do come back at a later date and let us know how you get on. Good luck!

Have your school provided you with any training opportunities in relation to your management role? If not, why not ask your headteacher or professional development lead? You might also consider asking if someone was available to provide mentorship for you.

Hi yes I have attended middle leadership training. I suppose I know the theory, but much harder in theory having these 'upfront talks' etc while trying to maintain good relationships. I've set clear instructions and deadlines etc but will just have to be consistent/persistent with it. And start challenging these behaviours more, as difficult as it may be.

Maybe try practicing in the mirror, I know it feels stupid to start with, but just saying what you need to say out loud in the privacy of your own home, can boost your confidence when it comes to actually saying it to the person when the time comes.

Update...another deadline not met...this was actually really a third reminder of a task.

Background: I'd informed my manager basically about all that been going on over 4 or so years, basically they were shocked as this person outwardly looks great. I then bcc'd him in when setting deadline (above). All v clear but friendly email to request work (reminders really). So a week later deadline missed and we actually need the material now to do work . I casually, within another conversation, informer my manager...he said just cc me in this time.....this is going to change everything!!! I will be gossiped about (probably without full story being told).

Why will you be gossiped about OP, you're just trying to do your job?

Well without being too outing everything went awry after that. An email accusing me of not being supportive (don't want to get into circumstances as outing), me laying out all my concerns...tying them in knots so to speak with my dates/ emails etc. A lot of unfounded blame placed on me because I'm 'the manager'...so I'm responsible for everything. I stayed v calm, they did not. I tried to end on a positive note with an agreement that we'd try to move forward. But they are only angry because they've been outed to SM so to speak. No respect for my deadlines and requests before this. Work us going to be awkward for a while...how do I move on from this!!?

Oh important info... i called a meeting after the email to discuss their concerns...I did not respond by email with anything to that affect. After I offered support in meeting I ran through a few of my own issues/concerns. This meeting was two days ago...I'm dreading Monday.

*effect

So, just to clarify, the email you refer to in the first post yesterday was from the member of staff that you have had problems with, yes? You then had a meeting with this person, where they basically blamed you for all of the problems because you are their boss? Did you involve your own manager in this meeting OP, and if not, why not? Why are you dreading Monday? What do you think is going to happen?

You ask 'how do I move on from this?' In order to give any advice, I would need to know the answers to the questions above.

The only qualification I’d make is that I think that saying you want respect sounds needy and weak. Respect is earned. He’s ignoring management structure. Do you have some sort of supervision with your own manager, in which you can bring this up? You have to think through what he should have done and why it matters to the school that he didn’t do that.

What are the consequences for him of acting as a free agent in this way or, in other words, what would be your response if he just said “so what?”