DP ignores my texts when he's out drinking - had enough

[terracottacountryfarm]

Long story short, DP turns into a situationist when he's drinking. He gets embarrassing drunk. Never answers his phone when I'm supposed to pick him up, or will delay the time and then expect me to pick him up at 3am - calling me at stupid hours waking me up. I'm exhausted by it. Haven't heard from him since 3pm (he went out to watch the football).

We've split up before over this. I've text him already that I'll pick him up at half 11, as we agreed he'd come home before 12, and we are having breakfast with his mum tomorrow morning.

Another note, he has decided to go out drinking on 23rd and 24th December this year and didn't inform me about 23rd, I already knew about the 24th as this is a yearly thing, but I was incredibly pissed off that I'll be spending not one, but now two days before Xmas at home on my own.

AIBU

You know we're all going to state the obvious regarding you picking him up, right?

I’d just send a text saying you are going to bed and go get a taxi home. Then put your phone on silent.
Going out 23rd and 24th is a bit unfair. Can you arrange to see friends/family at the same time?

Why not give yourself the best Christmas present of the decade and tell him to get lost for ever.

But ....you're doing it, you're putting up with it...so what are you going to do, continue to do it and complain?

If you have no children together, dump his ass immediately.

You don’t sound happy. Do you truly think this guy is the right match for you?

Get rid of the twat - your life will be immeasurably happier, calmer, less stressful and altogether more enjoyable without a drinker in it!

If you split up with him before over this why are you back with him when he hasn't changed? Get rid.

Oh don't worry - I won't be picking him up. I also have a slight urge to lock him out too..

What does he do to better your life on a daily basis?

He's loving, sweet and caring. But it's when he drinks, he becomes this unreliable stupid drunk idiot who thinks of no one else but himself. Can't stand it.

He has a drinking problem.

just don’t pick him up. Turn phone to silent. Don’t text him. Job done. Don’t lock him out though.

He sounds like a selfish teenager. If dh ever expected me to get up and go and pick him up from the pub ever I’d laugh down the phone at him and hang up.
He’s working and earning, if he can afford to go out and get drunk he can afford to get himself a taxi home.
How have you allowed yourself to get into this terrible situation?

He doesn’t turn into anything. He is a problem drinker. Make him someone else’s problem.

Well don't pick him up. And why on earth would you be sat indoors on your own? Why can't you go out?

I had a husband that went out drinking on w4/12 ... a yearly event ... it was just awful!
...

Stop picking him up?

Why are you carrying on with the picking him up nonsense if he stays out late each time?

If you don't want to be with such a heavy and habitual drinker that's fine. But don't expect him to change. Cut your losses.

Do you have dc together ?

"DP" is an all encompassing term, from 'fairly recent boyfriend' to 'lifelong partner, father of my dc, who I am financially entwined with'.

If it's every week or every month I'd dump him again.

If it's a few times a year it wouldn't bother me.

But it's when he drinks, he becomes this unreliable stupid drunk idiot who thinks of no one else but himself.

It's easy to see this as a drinking issue. But it's not. He knows he does this, knows he upsets you, knows he wakes you, knows he's skipping time with you to do this and SOBER him picks up the drink. If you turn into a twat when you drink you have two choices; stop turning into a twat or stop drinking.

He's thinking of himself when he plans two drinking nights before Christmas.

Sounds like an urge you need to give in to, after warning him of course.

Thank you for all the replies. He's just text me to pick him up. It's before 12 which we agreed but I'm pissed off he hasn't had the audacity to even message me throughout the day. Nearly 8hours I haven't heard from him.
Honestly, at my wits end.
Very close to ending it, I'm on the line

Yes, this. Make a big investment in your future and tell him to sling his hook.