To be miffed with sisterly Christmas presents

[Meanest]

I think I am being unreasonable but it’s just bothering me and I’d like to get over it. So tell me.

Me and sisters have an unspoken budget for Christmas/birthday presents hovering between £15-20. Being self employed, sometimes I’m flush, sometimes being very careful. On occasion I go beyond budget for fun, for big birthdays or for the exact right thing. I’m a Christmas Eve birthday btw.

Last birthday I had one sister give me a reject from her beauty advent calendar which she and the other sister mutually bought for each other. It kinda hurt. I had chosen her something that she loves, that I consulted her on to make sure I got right. To avoid getting hurt feelings again, I said this Christmas let’s co-buy each other a certain item, it’s £30, we both admired (she also has a December bday) and she said no, moneys too tight. I said if you want you can get me this cheaper item (£10 for birthday and Christmas) she said no, she’s already got me something. Uh oh.

The other sister recently asked me what I want. I named something well within budget that’s a bday Christmas combo, Great. Yesterday eve, out of the blue she texted me a pic of an item saying “get me this” and a price tag. It’s wayyy over budget, and I hadn’t asked her what she wanted as I was having fun thinking of something. Plus I’m a little tight rn, and already overspend on her kids.

I just feel a bit… deflated and confused by it all. I put a lot of thought into the gifts, thinking how to treat them/get them something memorable/special. What’s in their mind? AIBU?

Why can’t you use your voice?

Tell the sister the gift she wants is over budget.

Ask the one with the rubbish advent calendar reject what you’re doing for gifts this year as you don’t want a repeat of last year.

Re the post about them not wanting to come to yours for champagne - are your sisters younger than you and closer in age to each other?

If you’re upset about the MC and finding Christmas things hard TELL YOUR SISTERS! I’m sure if they knew they’d make more of an effort for you. You really need to start speaking up instead of collating a list of grievances and hurts that no one else knows about.

@MsNeis do you really believe that? That adults without children have nothing to celebrate at Christmas beyond other peoples children? I've never doubted that Christmas was for everyone... this idea is quite abrupt and hard to me

Good advice I think @walltowallkents

I suppose family dynamics are always complex and hard to iterate in one short post considering a lifetime of nuance as sisters. It's all trapped up inside a persons head, but advice from the outside like... telling them how I feel, is probably more clearly seen from a distance. I'll try to take it on.

I’m not saying it will be easy - but nothing will change unless you make an effort to change it.

I have to say I wouldn’t necessarily associate a MC with negative feelings about Christmas, so your sisters maybe just don’t get it. I’m sure if you tell them how you’re feeling they’ll want to make more of an effort for you.