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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The only one not on the WhatsApp group

35 replies

Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 15:58

Found out today that our whole street is included on a WhatsApp group except me.
it was made by my neighbour. She has said sorry but we were away when it was made in the summer and then she forgot. I don’t get it- we get on well and you don’t need to be in the same country to be invited to join a WhatsApp group when it’s made.
im hurt as I thought we were friends- we do favours for each other and our kids went to each others party’s recently.
but I can’t shake the feeling this is on purpose. There are 20 others on there including one man who isn’t even technically on the same street.
I only found out because I suggested we form a street WhatsApp group. Am I being over sensitive? Would you say something to neighbour? I’m generally easy going, polite, keep out of everyone’s way so not like im a troublemarker

OP posts:
KaleQueen · 16/11/2024 16:00

i think you might be. Just ask to be added. Simple. Drama resolved.

sel2223 · 16/11/2024 16:00

And what happened when you spoke to her about it? Did she then add you?

Travellingheavily · 16/11/2024 16:01

Has she added you now?

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:01

Yeah added now

OP posts:
sel2223 · 16/11/2024 16:02

In that case i'd just forget it and move on, don't make it into a huge thing

September1013 · 16/11/2024 16:02

Generally I would ask someone face to face before adding them to a whatsapp group so I would say her story is not implausible. I didn’t notice a colleague was missing from a work whatsapp group until recently someone asked me for their number and I went on the group to look for it, only to realise they’d been accidentally missed out.

Unless there’s some backstory you haven’t disclosed, I’d be inclined to chalk it up as an innocent mistake and not overthink it.

freshlaundrysmell · 16/11/2024 16:02

I mean, just ask her to add you if it bothers you but from my friends' experiences of being on a street WhatsApp you wont be missing anything. It's just endless tedious messages about nonsense. Cant think of anything worse personally.

If you feel it was deliberate on her part then stop doing her favours. She is using you.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:02

Fair enough maybe a genuine oversite then. Just odd as I’m literally the only one. Oh well

OP posts:
Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:03

Thanks all

OP posts:
Maria1979 · 16/11/2024 16:04

Oh, I would never have asked her! WhatsApp groups can be hell. If you're not on them then noone can ask you why you didn't do x or answered to y.

Soonenough · 16/11/2024 16:05

Don't overthink it. She added you when she remembered she hadn't already done it.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:05

Maria1979 · 16/11/2024 16:04

Oh, I would never have asked her! WhatsApp groups can be hell. If you're not on them then noone can ask you why you didn't do x or answered to y.

lol that’s true - tbf my sons schools one is annoying

OP posts:
pictoosh · 16/11/2024 16:06

It's like she said, you weren't around when the group was made, then she forgot to add you.

It really won't be anything personal.

MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:10

Yabu to make a mumsnet thread about this non-event. You are now in the group. The issue is resolved. There was no malicious intent it's just that you aren't the main character in your neighbours' lives.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:15

MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:10

Yabu to make a mumsnet thread about this non-event. You are now in the group. The issue is resolved. There was no malicious intent it's just that you aren't the main character in your neighbours' lives.

Well in that case yabu to comment on this non event thread. Dont you realise it’s ok to scroll past something that doesn’t interest you.

OP posts:
MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:17

@Nextdoorneighbourly you asked if you are being unreasonable. You are. You then snipe at people telling you so. You still are.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:22

MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:17

@Nextdoorneighbourly you asked if you are being unreasonable. You are. You then snipe at people telling you so. You still are.

Not really… lots of ppl above said I was being over sensitive and I took it on board. You took issue with the fact I even started a thread which is imo a bit different but hey ho

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 16/11/2024 16:30

There’s a WhatsApp group on the street where I live. I don’t know who’s on it and who isn’t but I’m relieved I wasn’t asked to join, it wouldn’t be my thing at all.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:30

Berlinlover · 16/11/2024 16:30

There’s a WhatsApp group on the street where I live. I don’t know who’s on it and who isn’t but I’m relieved I wasn’t asked to join, it wouldn’t be my thing at all.

lol I’m starting to think I should have been grateful to have been forgotten

OP posts:
GrumpyCactus · 16/11/2024 16:34

I don't get why you started the thread if she's added you? It seems like it was a complete oversight as you were away when she set it up and it's not low she's excluding you from being part of it?

Although personally I really can't see the point in having a neighborhood WhatsApp group.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:43

started it because I wanted to know if I was being a bit over sensitive about it, which I now think I was.
i was wondering why she would not have included me at the time she made the group made of 20 others when we are the ‘closest’ neighbours (both in location but also friends)
maybe it was an over sight though - I’m happy to forget about it. Sometimes it’s good to type things out

OP posts:
Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 16:44

MarketValveForks · 16/11/2024 16:17

@Nextdoorneighbourly you asked if you are being unreasonable. You are. You then snipe at people telling you so. You still are.

The only person OP has sniped at is you because your comment was rude and unnecessary.

Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 16:45

Did she already have your phone number when the group was set up?

Prisonpillow · 16/11/2024 16:46

You almost had a lucky escape.

Original poster
Nextdoorneighbourly · 16/11/2024 16:47

Hallllllllie · 16/11/2024 16:45

Did she already have your phone number when the group was set up?

Yes- we text regularly and do lots of favours for each other. I get on with other neighbours but am more friendly with her.

OP posts: