Unwanted Christmas gifts

[CoffeeNeededorWine]

How do you deal with expensive unwanted Christmas presents?

My mum has bought me something expensive for Christmas. My sister tried to gently suggest it wouldn’t be something o wanted. Sister has told me what it is. My mum is really excited and think I’ll love it. I won’t. It’s something I’d never use and I feel awful because my lovely mum has spent so much money on this gift. We spent a fair amount of time together as a family so she’s going to know I’m not using it. What do I do? How do people deal with this?

AIBU not saying anything? I don’t want to hurt her feelings. But then I don’t want her to waste her money.

Great!!! You're not OP though are you

I’m not op either but I’d love it too .

Accept it and tell her it's wonderful. It might not be the kind of thing you take out with you regularly but even if you use it to take good quality milestone pictures once a year, it's an investment purchase.

It's not worth upsetting your mum over.

Honestly, I'd accept it. Arrange a little family photoshoot with your mum and your kids. Get some photos printed for her and then in 6 months sell the camera on and use the money to take your mum out for lunch plus something you'll enjoy.
If she follows up about the camera, just say unfortunately it broke whilst out with the children but luckily you were able to get a bit of money back from a spares/repairs shop.

You accept it graciously with massive smile and a huge thanks! Then occasionally go out of your way to use it when you see your mum.

When you see your mum at Christmas take some photos, it's not that hard. Take some photos on other occasions like birthdays. Maybe encourage your partner or children to develop an interest in photography and they can use it a lot!

This is the best solution OP.

It’s not like it’s an ugly lamp or painting that you’d feel obliged to put in your living room.

The DCs might enjoy experimenting with it when they’re old enough, too.

My friend’s dh has an expensive camera and the photos are amazing, a lot better than any phone camera I’ve seen. You might end up really appreciating it with the beautiful photos of your dc you can take. Friend’s dh took one of my dog and it looks professional, I was blown away by the quality.

For goodness sake, don't hurt your lovely mums feelings! Why would you do that?

You say she's had the gift for a few months now so the money has been sunk. It's done

And you says she's really excited to give it to you

Don't be that person. Accept with excitement and grace and let her feel the happiness she clearly wants to

By all
Means, get ahead of the game for next year and drop hints or whatever to avoid this happening again, but this year your only - kind - option is to be grateful

You can't be that close if you can't be honest about something so trivial.

Just re gift it back to her on her birthday 😉

That would be the most awful thing to do.

Book yourself in for a term of a local photography course. Then you’ll have given it your best shot (!) and opened yourself to a new experience. After that you can let it lie

Hopefully you can return it, the return window is normally extended for purchases at this time of the year.
Why would OP have to remember to take it out when she is with her mum when she doesn’t want to lug a camera around? Just so the mum isn’t offended? OP is busy enough with two small children. Space is at a premium, not everyone wants to have stuff in the house that they don’t use.

Why can't families just be honest with each other?
Why do people buy expensive random "I hope they like this" gifts?
Why do people ignore when told that the gift receiver won't want/use/have space for that gift?
It's all such a mystery to me.

Hmm, I don't think there's much you can do now without really hurting your DMums feelings. I'd accept the gift with good grace and make an effort to use it for special occasions.

If she has had it so long she can't now return it then I don't see what good can come from you/your sister telling her that she's messed up and you don't want it or like it.

FWIW, you will probably get some use out of it and be pleased you have it eventually! Of course you'll continue to use your phone camera for most things but I am sure there will be special events, milestones, celebrations etc that you'll now be able to take lovely pictures of.

I hate getting things I don't want, especially expensive ones, but in this case I would pretend to be thrilled. As a pp said I would use it for regular photo shoots with my dc, its likely that the resulting pictures will be great quality and might be worth framing. In other words I would make the best of it, though my opinion is probably coloured by the fact that i lost my mum recently. I don't really understand posts mentioning making space for it or lugging it around, it's a camera not a vacuum cleaner.

Where did she buy it? Might it have been from a shop that also sells other appliances so that you could ask her for a gift receipt (or the actual receipt) and return it and get yourself that air fryer that you actually want and will use?

Depends on the size of it and if one will remember to grab it and use it.

I have a proper camera and my iPhone. We’ve had plenty of events where the camera could have been used but often I’ve completely forgotten about it with everything going on and used my iPhone instead, take pictures and video and send it within seconds to other family members using it (family overseas).

Having a proper camera is nice but I can also see where if you know the likelihood of using it is slim and it is going to collect dust, you would rather have something you’ll use more.

Does she know you know that she has got you that?
If not can you not slip into conversation about the wonderful features on you phone camera - like magic eraser - that mean you can really not see why anyone would bother with an actual camera these days....

It's actually quite arrogant to presume that someone is going to like the gift you've bought after your other daughter has tactfully pointed out that it's not a good idea.

I'd have to say, 'Mother, Delores mentioned you've bought me a camera for Christmas and tried to warn you that I wouldn't like it! I use my phone, it takes superb photos and I would hate for such an expensive item to gather dust, unused.

It was such a lovely though, but please try and get a refund or a credit note as I really won't use a camera and neither would Dolores!'

@Attelina yes I really don't understand why people just can't be honest rather than making (fake) remarks about how great their phone camera is or whatever.
It's all just silly.

Yeah, I don't get this either. I just give my mum a list of small things I'd like/need (when she asks me for one) and she chooses one from the list. It's still a surprise as I don't know what I'm getting which makes her happy and I'm still happy as whatever it is it's something I know I'll like. Win win.

Agree with it being done this way but to some that is too simplistic/easy.

I don’t think it’s that so much as that it’s a bit perfunctory and transactional for some. I mean you could cut out the whole stage in the process ofeven buying for another and giving: everyone could save their money and … just buy themselves something instead. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Some people are deeply pragmatic like that ( “why waste money? 💰” ; “How would anyone know what I want better than me?”) while other people buy into the idea that a gift is an expression of affection, so want to show they have thought about them and tried to please them, and also embrace the idea that surprises can be fun and delightful.

My DMum and I would just be honest with each other if one bought a gift the other didn't like so it could be returned. If you don't have that sort of relationship though, just sell it. No point in leaving it unused and it will be worth a lot less in a few years' time so better to sell it straight away.