Slim shaming ok?

[Begreatfulofglimmers]

Recently I’ve been unwell and work has been hard. Some people eat when stressed. I’m the opposite. I’ve lost weight I feel awful nothing fits.

I’ve found people take the mick, stick legs, do you eat?

Honest question, would telling someone - “you’ve put on weight”, “ you’ve got tree trunk legs” be acceptable?

It feels fair game to offend someone who is clearly struggling being under weight but massively offensive to openly criticise someone overweight.

I’d really like to hear your views.

people who say this doesn’t happen to fat people have obviously never been fat because yes people do comment!!

It's quite obvious that making comments about someone's weight is unacceptable under almost any circumstance

It’s not acceptable either way but sadly some people are just quite rude or
insensitive. They never think a thin person would take it as an insult. But it still is really 🤷‍♀️

I used to have an eating disorder and a group of people set on me once during a tea break telling me that I looked like a matchstick with the wood scraped off and other choice phrases.

People would often comment on how thin I was, often with admiration and asking me how I did it. When I went to the Dr for help she looked me up and down and said I didn't look anorexic.

So yes, I know how you feel and I never comment on people's weight.

Family members or friends/acquaintances?

Both over the years and given how I have heard people speak of others definitely behind my back too.

Why on earth anyone thinks it’s acceptable to comment on another’s weight is beyond me.

If someone thinks it’s ok do it back to them. Will soon shut them up.
My mil once said something about me being slim. So I muttered something back about her. Two can play that game.

Op yabu to make this a fat vs thin thread - how overweight people are treated is nothing to do with your argument.

But yanbu in that no one should be making unsolicited comments about anyone's body no matter the size.

I've been both clinically underweight and morbidly obese and people have said some really personal and upsetting things in both cases.

Nobody should be made to feel like that in my opinion.

“I’m so glad me being unwell is amusing to you. Your little jokes really make me feel better about the situation.”

I’m sorry you’ve taken that from my post. Sadly you’ve misunderstood the post. I hope you’re ok.

I was thin when I was younger, and the things people said to me were shockingly rude. I was constantly being told how disgusting and ill I looked, even by strangers. I’m sure people are less ignorant now (I hope…), but it is just unbelievable to me that people can comment on someone’s weight like that. Just so rude.

both but mostly strangers

Mentioning someone’s body size is never ok. I’m very slim for my height, I’ve never carried any excess weight, even after having my children I was back in size 10 jeans leaving hospital each time. I’ve lost count of the comments over the years, especially in the school staffroom behind my back. There’s only been a couple of times I’ve been so annoyed I retaliated. One was a work colleague who continually commented on my lunch (which was normally soup or a pasta dish), after months of it I’d had enough. I opened my lunch box one day and she commented on how much pasta I had and said in front of a full staff room “oh I couldn’t eat all of that Hermoine”, that was the final straw. She didn’t like my reply and avoided the staff room for a few weeks afterwards. Sometimes a taste of their own medicine does the trick to stop people commenting.

I always love the idea that thin people think that no one comments on fat people - trust me they do. Constantly. Not just people you know either but total strangers who shout insults out of the window. I’ve been thin and fat and I know which one gets the most abuse hands down 🙄

YANBU. Ive lost weight over the last few years due to various stresses. Anything stressy & I don’t feel hungry. Plus, I have a child so I literally don’t stop! Years ago when I was a little more ‘Bonnie’! & before I had my DD, I used to drink a lot more then sit all day Sunday, eating cheese toasties/crisps/choc while watching The Hills!

EVERYONE mentions it! I hate it & feel so self conscious. I prefer to have more weight but what can I do.

I have a DD & I absolutely won’t have any talking at home about fat/thin. It’s awful
so I just say ‘we all come in different sizes’

No one should comment on anyone else’s appearance, but there’s no denying the huge cultural weight of approval of slim bodies and disapproval of fat ones. Even someone making a negative comment about a slim body does so against that context.

I'm a size 6, 5'4 and I've always had this. Apparently even working out while I'm this slim is being desperate for attention. 🙄 In truth, I work out because I enjoy it and I like feeling strong and toned. I eat healthily because I enjoy it. I don't have a sweet tooth.

However, if caught eating something "unhealthy" then I've had all sorts of comments, some insinuating it must be the only meal of my day or that I'm going to throw it back up. It's insulting and petty.

Recently, I've had a very bad flu. I can't eat when I'm poorly so my portions slashed in half. I don't weigh myself but my leggings are loose so I assume I've lost a fair bit. Twice in two days I've had people make snide comments when they've seen me eating high calorie food to try and regain a few pounds. I will not be minding my manners if it happens again.

I have experienced this too, after losing weight for medical reasons. I've been astounded at a couple of the comments I've received, both times from very fit, lean people who I thought were good friends. I don't get it.

From yout post ;

"Honest question, would telling someone - “you’ve put on weight”, “ you’ve got tree trunk legs” be acceptable?
It feels fair game to offend someone who is clearly struggling being under weight but massively offensive to openly criticise someone overweight."

I dont let people get to me.

It’s all about power privilege though isn’t it? Skinny and slim is the default in our society and nobody was denied healthcare, or passed over for employment, or made to feel worthless as a human being for being slim. Yep you may get dicks making comments about your thinness and that’s horrible of course, but being fat is a whole other level of abuse and shaming and disadvantage. So yes, it’s more offensive to fat shame.

You’re wrong about the latter, I have had men try to make me feel worthless for being too thin.

Actually, I lost a lot of weight rapidly (and I'm already small) when DH was injured and in hospital. The GP ignored the fact I'd seen my husband nearly die and tried to tell me to "just eat more", then insinuated I was anorexic. I had PTSD. Thankfully another (better) GP was able to help me.

I've also been privy to the hiring process in cafes when I did a stint as a teen. I saw one girl passed over because they thought she was too frail for the job. She was a sodding dancer.

So it absolutely does happen.