To be a bit annoyed at this comment by my mum.

[MammaKel]

My DS has multiple additional needs and ASD, he's 3.

I got an update on the nursery app that they're practicing for the nativity play and my son was pictured practicing but I'm not actually sure if he'll be in the play but he looked like he was having a lovely time.

I was telling my mum about this and said if DS is in the play, would she like a ticket to come and see him and her reply was "Why? He won't be any good will he"

I'm a bit annoyed because it's a nursery play, they're all 3 it's not gonna be a west end performance and her and my dad used to constantly put me down as well and it felt a bit like that.

I know it's really silly but I'm excited to see if he's in the play and go to his first performance like all the other parents whether he's good or not, I mean I'm proud and impressed he's doing well in practice.

It's just a bit shit that it might be another thing that's hard for DS and my my mums comment has hit a nerve.

What a horrible thing to say. Does she think seeing her grandchildren in a play would be oscar winning performances?

Dont invite her again

What an arsehole comment for her to make.

She doesn't deserve him...or you. I would drop the rope and stop including her.

That's not just annoying it's hurtful and, well, just bloody horrible. I hope he enjoys his first performance. You will be as proud as punch!

Ugh, what a nasty comment to make about ANY child's play! Stop including her, she's nasty.

What a horrible thing to say.

Tell her that her cooking was no good but you ate that for years!

Your mum is a bitch. Don’t invite her again. Go and watch your DS. Show him that he has a cheerleader in you. You’ll feel so proud of him

What an ignorant comment.
I hope your DS enjoys being included even if he isn't part of the actual live performance(s).

Not at all silly OP, it's lovely you're excited for your son and I'd have thought a grandparent would either also be excited, or at least not be mean about it if it isn't their bag. I'd be wary of letting that kind of energy and comment near my DS. This sort of thing is actually why I put a good deal of distance between my mum and my kids, until she realised that she was losing out and has made a marked effort to stop making nasty comments in recent months.

I'm glad your DS was enjoying himself. Hope if you do go that you have a lovely time at the play!

Go and enjoy your lovely child’s play and don’t invite her to anything again.

Has your mum ever seen a 3 y/o child actor? Just wondering what her expectations are. Ridiculous comment.

Awful thing to say about your DS, her DGS. All children should be able to participate in a little play, with support and at Nursery level it really doesn’t matter if they just stand there and nothing else! Most will be waving to parents, jiggling around, shuffling…! I taught Nursery and someone once said that putting on a little show was like trying to pin down tadpoles…they are pretty much unpredictable but every parent goes home with a tear in their eye (the teachers do too!) I really hope your little boy is in the play, it sounds like he’s enjoying himself x

That’s so awful. We don’t go to our children’s and grandchildren’s shows because of their acting talent, but because we love them and want to support them. Those little faces really light up when they spot their loved ones in the audience, and it means so much to them that you’re cheering them on.

Anyway, we all know this… I’m sorry your mum didn’t get the memo. Really awful thing for her to say. Don’t ask her again.

Foot in mouth problem there.

I'd be hurt. Does she see him as "less than"?

God that's just so awful. You must be devastated.

I remember when family, friends, strangers use to comment on my DD when she was very little, I actually use to spend more time crying over comments rather than put them in their place.

You keep on being proud of your ds and when people make comments like that I always found what stops them in their tracks is say "Do you feel better having said what you have about a disabled child". You can re word it to something you'd prefer.

@MammaKel shes shown her true colours haven’t changed. Stop involving her in your life. Stop telling her things she can use to drag you down. Stop involving and inviting her to anything.

That was low...

He's 3 years old...

No more to add..

You are under-reacting. If she put you down for years and now she is doing the same to your son, that is emotional abuse and you deserve to feel more than 'a bit annoyed' about it.

What an absolute *@&! What has she done with her life that is so bloody brilliant? Time to draw some firm boundaries. She has no right to be so disparaging, rude and disrespectful. I am really cross for you and your darling boy, can you tell?!

A 'bit annoyed'? I'd be fucking livid. Tell her to take her negativity and stuff it. You'll feel a whole lot better.

Fuck her noise.

My middle child also has an asd diagnosis, among others, and at 3 in nursery sat mutinously refusing to engage in the song his class were singing. He was there though, and he wore his wise man crown, and it was, for him, a massive success.

Your mother doesn’t deserve to be a grandparent.

What a mean thing to say. Ignore her and like others have said, don't ask her again and if she asks you to attend anything like this in the future, remind her of her rude comments.

I'm sure he's going to be amazing and you will feel so proud of him

Wow!

I'd be very low contact with her going forward and I'd tell her what a nasty bitch she is if she asks why.

Wow. What an evil thing to say. Just tell her she wasn't good at parenting and you still see her.

Nobody goes to see a nursery play because it's "good".

Poor you OP, I hope you have some kind, supportive people in your life too. Build up your boundaries to protect you and your son from this nastiness, and enjoy the play! It will be lovely. If DS won't be performing, will he be involved in any other aspect, or would he go to watch his friends?

Thank you everyone.

I know I'm downplaying it, I guess it's because I'm used to it but it is really hurtful but I'm wondering if it's just something she learnt or copies from my dad because her and DS have a good relationship otherwise which is why I asked her and was shocked at her response.

I think I might tell her it was hurtful and why and how her and my dad used to treat me and how impactful and hurtful that's been and I don't want that for DS (or DD either) and hopefully she'll be more thoughtful going forward.