To be a bit annoyed at this comment by my mum.

[MammaKel]

My DS has multiple additional needs and ASD, he's 3.

I got an update on the nursery app that they're practicing for the nativity play and my son was pictured practicing but I'm not actually sure if he'll be in the play but he looked like he was having a lovely time.

I was telling my mum about this and said if DS is in the play, would she like a ticket to come and see him and her reply was "Why? He won't be any good will he"

I'm a bit annoyed because it's a nursery play, they're all 3 it's not gonna be a west end performance and her and my dad used to constantly put me down as well and it felt a bit like that.

I know it's really silly but I'm excited to see if he's in the play and go to his first performance like all the other parents whether he's good or not, I mean I'm proud and impressed he's doing well in practice.

It's just a bit shit that it might be another thing that's hard for DS and my my mums comment has hit a nerve.

What a mean comment.

The cutest thing about it is none of them are any good - it’s about seeing them all adorable in their first nativity costumes. I’ve laughed and cried and at these things. They right warm the cockles.

Absolutely this. Your three year old will be as adorable and chaotic as every other three year old in a nativity. If nativities involved anyone involved being 'any good', they wouldn't be the annual wondrous shambles they are. My parents lived overseas and were visiting in Dec when DS was in reception, but couldn't stay for Christmas, so the very kind reception/Year 1 teachers let them attend the dress rehearsal and weep buckets over DS as an uncooperative sheep singing 'Little Donkey' with his back to the audience. They were thrilled.

I can't believe that a grandmother would say something so horrible about her 3 year old grand-child.

It's not a West End show ffs, it's a group of 3-year olds in a Nativity Play. Never invite her to anything again.

Sounds like my mother, my autistic son is manipulative apparently, she’s just nasty I’ve finally cut her out. Not saying to do that but listen out for anymore of that tone, just don’t put up with it. That’s so hurtful am sorry your own mum would say something like that to you about your little boy. It’s hard enough knowing things will be different without your family saying those sort of things. Your son will be awesome, I remember my little boy as a shepherd in his primary one nativity he didn’t have lines but he did his little bit and was v cute

I love seeing my grandchildren in things just as I loved seeing my children. There is something very moving about small children in nativities.
And they are all wonderful whatever they do!
I don't understand your mother's attitude. I am very sorry OP. And you are certainly not unreasonable to feel hurt and angry. Ignore her and enjoy your lovely child and the show

I honestly cannot believe she said that! I am hurt for you OP!

This is the sort of thing I also deal with OP. I used to think it was normal until my DH pointed out he wasn't happy how my parents were talking to me or our child.

Sadly, there will be a reason they are like this (learnt behaviour, jealousy, narcissistic) but that's not your problem. It's theirs and only they can change that attitude.

Realistically how likely are they to change when you try to talk to them? Is it worth getting upset over when they attempt to downplay comments etc.? Probably not.

Go to the play with someone else, enjoy yourself and distance yourself from these people. Google grey rock if you can't cut them out.

All the best Op.

Unbelievably awful from a grandparent - bad enough from an acquaintance, frankly.

I’d not contact her again and wait for her to ask why I haven’t called. I’d then tell her calmly that I was appalled by what she said. If she makes light of it or says you’re too sensitive I’d put the phone down on her.