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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD Class Friends Mom

30 replies

Busymomof3 · 15/11/2024 09:44

Dear readers

My DD has BF because of her learning difficulties dyslexia etc I had her moved to a more appropriate school thinking I had made the right decision 2 years on she suffered bullying exclusion and teachers wouldn't do a thing about it.

So I decided as she had missed 20 days last year alone to move her back to her old school she was very happy about this as she plays sports with a few of the girls at her school etc.

She befriended her old BF again she was very happy about this even though she had to repeat a class so is a class behind now but all been taught by Same teacher as both classes in same classroom.

She asked to sit beside her as they were allowed to pick who to sit beside.
Yesterday they got moved she's upset about it I know for a fact it's BFs mom she doesn't like me.

Back 2 years ago I live in social housing SM with 3, kids. Didn't choose this but didn't work out with DP.
I work so my best bring my DC up as good as I can teach them to show respect to others good manners teachers always praise them so I must be doing something right!

Have them in sports.
She is of the opinion I'm a SM living in social housing and I know she looks down on me so has decided my DD isn't good enough for her DD.

Just find it so hurtful she would go and call the school and have them moved because if her opinions!! Of me!!
I have never done anything to her the only thing that did happen was my tyre was slashed as I have really bad neighbors her DD and my DD were at dance it was my turn to drive and she backed off straight away after that.

Nothing else has happened we live in a small town.
On Monday I see her at local cafe I say hi (more to annoy her as I know she's a snob!)
Anyways her DD says it to my DD at school that her mom saw me at cafe I was like oh yeah I saw her she was with a man and women and my DD says it back next day they get switched
AIBU????

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 15/11/2024 09:51

Teachers will not adjust the seating plan because a patent asks then unless there are justified reasons.

The mother doesn't have to want to becfriends with you as. You don't have to be friends with her. You don't know her reasons for not wanting to be friends with you. You can only guess and often these guesses are not the full picture

Stop focusing on her

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 15/11/2024 10:03

How do you know that the friend's mother phoned the school and asked her to be moved? You don't know for a fact. It may be that the teacher identified that the girls would be better apart for some learning, that she was teaching specific stuff to differentiate. A teacher won't just move a pupil on a parent's say so. They'd never be done moving children! I think you should stop focusing on this mum and what she might or might not be thinking and let it go

Wakeywake · 15/11/2024 10:08

It's more likely the teacher separated them because they were giggling during lessons rather than the other mum complaining.

Ablondiebutagoody · 15/11/2024 10:12

Who cares where she sits? This is such an insignificant issue to be getting worked up about

Blushingm · 15/11/2024 10:13

You sound completely paranoid!

Changeyourfuckingcar · 15/11/2024 10:15

I have to say, I’m inclined to think you’re somewhat leaping to conclusions here! There’s nothing to suggest that’s why your daughter has been moved, it’s far more likely they were yapping and giggling when they should’ve been listening and the teacher couldn’t be arsed with keep telling them to be quiet anymore!

TheShellBeach · 15/11/2024 10:18

I'm 100% sure that a teacher would not move a child based on a parent's phone call.
You sound paranoid.

middleagedandinarage · 15/11/2024 10:18

To be totally honest if my dd was friends with someone who's parents were getting their tyres slashed I wouldn't be overly keen on the friendship either. I'm doubtful the teacher would move the children in class just at the mother's request though.

Comff · 15/11/2024 10:22

You've filled in a lot of blanks from the other side with your own conclusions. You can’t possibly know half of it and yet you’ve decided it’s fact.

The main thing to keep in mind is that your child can’t walk back into this other child’s life after two years apart and you expect them to be BFFs again. It’s ok if they’re not joined at the hip.

Euphonious · 15/11/2024 10:23

You sound as if you're leaping to conclusions. Isn't it just as possible that the other mother, if she did request her child be moved (which you don't know), did so because her child was attached to yours and was sad when she left the school. Now you've arbitrarily moved her back again to the original school (because she missed so much school at her new school?), she possibly doesn't want her child to get too reattached in case you decide to move her on again.

Euphonious · 15/11/2024 10:24

Comff · 15/11/2024 10:22

You've filled in a lot of blanks from the other side with your own conclusions. You can’t possibly know half of it and yet you’ve decided it’s fact.

The main thing to keep in mind is that your child can’t walk back into this other child’s life after two years apart and you expect them to be BFFs again. It’s ok if they’re not joined at the hip.

Yes, I think that's fair, and quite likely be explain the other parent's reluctance, if it is reluctance to have the girls in close proximity.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/11/2024 10:29

You say you know for a fact what’s happened but you don’t.

She’s not stopping the girls being friends. Moving seats won’t do that either. But like all of us, she cares about who her child spends time with and her perception of things will differ from yours.

You say she thinks you’re a single mum of 3 living in social housing and that it’s the truth. But before the tyre incident your situation didn’t seem to bother her? Why else do you consider her a snob? You’re judging her as much as she may be judging you yet you consider yourself better than her.

Why not focus on your own family and obsess less about other people.

purplecorkheart · 15/11/2024 10:39

You have no idea if that happened and to be honest it sounds like a leap.

I would suspect that it was more likely they were giggling or chatting in class.

Or maybe it has to do with the fact that they are in different years. Maybe it is easier if the same class all sit together.

Hoppinggreen · 15/11/2024 10:42

You don't know this womans opinion of you really and you have no idea why the children were moved.
To be honest I would be a bit concerned about my child being carried in a car that could potentially be tampered with for safety reasons

Noseybookworm · 15/11/2024 10:48

You sound quite unhinged to be honest, I'm not surprised the other mother is avoiding you!

Hoppinggreen · 15/11/2024 11:11

Noseybookworm · 15/11/2024 10:48

You sound quite unhinged to be honest, I'm not surprised the other mother is avoiding you!

No need for that
OP might be a little oversensitive but unhinged is a bit nasty, she's here for support not name calling and while nobody has to agree with her thats uncalled for.

Maria1979 · 15/11/2024 13:12

No good teacher would move a kid just because a mum asks for it. There has to be a reason: talking too much or bullying. They were probably chatterboxes so teacher decided to move them. You don't know what the other woman thinks about you. Maybe she always has a stick up her arse.

MissUltraViolet · 15/11/2024 13:16

My DD gets moved all the time away from her friends because they talk and mess around.

In fact, going from Y7 to Y8 her school put her and her best friend on totally different timetables so they'd have no classes together lol.

I would not assume this mum has had anything to do with this. I also wouldn't assume the school would change classrooms around because one parent has asked them to.

decembersnows · 16/11/2024 08:09

She's a class behind now, and dyslexic. This is the reason she's been moved. Likely to sit with someone who will support her better.
No way would a teacher move a kid because a parent requests it.

Original poster
Busymomof3 · 29/12/2024 10:34

Haven't been on this for a while.
Thanks for your replies I'm not unhinged that's for sure!rather over sensitive.
All good

OP posts:
TheAzureBiscuit · 29/12/2024 10:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Busymomof3 · 29/12/2024 10:51

How is it weird??isn't that what the mumsnet forum is for?? People put up posts to see what other think?? So how is it weird??

OP posts:
TheAzureBiscuit · 29/12/2024 10:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Euphonious · 29/12/2024 15:31

Busymomof3 · 29/12/2024 10:51

How is it weird??isn't that what the mumsnet forum is for?? People put up posts to see what other think?? So how is it weird??

It's weird because you have invented a narrative in your own head with no evidence that the other parent got the teacher to move her child away from yours because she's a snob who looks down on you because you live in social housing and have tyre-slashing neighbours.

BobbyBiscuits · 29/12/2024 15:37

You say this boy's mother looks down upon you due to your social status. Well she's a snobby cow then. Just ignore her.

Your kid needs to go to school and work. Who they sit next to in class is moot. They'll have to sit next to dozens of strangers in every workplace they'll ever encounter so better get used to it.

You need to focus on your actual friends, interests and life. Not everyone will like you or have a desire to be your friend. It's not the end of the world and there's nothing you can do to stop it.