How old is too old to have a baby?

[Shaz83]

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

If I never had a child and desperately wanted one the limit would be 45 if I was fit and healthy.

Otherwise 35.

Many don't meet who they want kids with until older than you did.

I had ds at 45. All good, conceived and delivered naturally, full term. DS was 8lb. I was fairly fit, low bmi, generally healthy.

Now he's 6' and studying three stem A'levels. I'm working full time. Life is good.

I coped fine, although I made a conscious decision after ds was born to build up my fitness because I didn't want ds to have an 'old lady mum'. I run and practice martial arts. I keep up. 🤗

I think if your body allows you to conceive and carry, and you look after yourself well, that tells you what is possible.

I honestly think this depends on the individual and so many different factors. Plus it's very easy to answer this when you're young and 35+ seems ancient!

From age 22-36 I was with someone quite a bit older who already had kids of his own. I never wanted children and he didn't want anymore so it worked for those 14 years. I was just far too selfish, wanted to focus on my career and travel the world etc. Emotionally I think I was too immature to ever bring a child into my world and I have no regrets about not having children then at all.

A few months after my first marriage ended, I had a bit of a whirlwind romance with my now husband and I unexpectedly fell pregnant very early on in the relationship. 'Massive shock' doesn't even begin to describe it but we decided to keep the baby and make a proper go of it. I gave birth to DD1 at 37.

She turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me and the timing in my life was perfect.

Now I'm fast approaching 42 and nearly 21 weeks pregnant with our second DD.

Honestly, i never ever imagined this would be me - if you'd told me in my 20's I'd be a mum of 2 and would be having a baby at 42 I'd have laughed in your face - it wasn't even a slight possibility back then when i wasn't even planning to have kids full stop 😅 but here we are......

I had my children quite late - my first was at 33 and my second at 37. Ideally, I would have had both of mine before 30. However, my definite cut-off is 40.

Your DH's Mum must still have died relatively young. Even she had him at 50 she would have be 65 when she died which is no age these days. I'm so sorry he lost his parents young and ended up in care.

You stopping at 25 so as not to risk disability was VERY cautious. It's true that the risk increases as you get older, but in otherwise healthy parents things such risks don't really increase until your mid 30s.

If you had when young 20's/early 30's then people reply over 40 is too late

If struggle ttc like me and takes 10yrs and a lot of ivf then overjoyed to give birth at almost 44

Yes a risk the baby may have sn

Equally my friend had her baby at 32 and has Down syndrome

So no reason why as certainly wasn't age

I think if still having periods and feel you can cope then Go ahead

Why insane ?

Yes I would have liked to be younger then almost 44 when gave birth but Mother Nature had other ideas

But

I'm healthy. Have a good well paid career. Own home

I wouldn’t have after 35 max. But I was done by 25 anyway.

I based it off how old would I be when they hit 20 and 55 with a 20 old didn’t sound bad. 55 with a 10 year old sounded pretty horrible.

Biologically you can go till you just cannot conceive/carry to term but logically you have to think about the possible child head over heart stuff.

I do understand the comments about health being an older parent and kids losing their parents when they are still relatively young but awful things can happen at any age:

A friend of mine was just 14 when she lost her mum to breast cancer - her mum was only 36 years old!

Another friend of mine is in her early 40's and has just been diagnosed with motor neurone disease, in a matter of months she's gone from very fit and active to wheelchair bound. Her kids are 11 and 8.

On the other side, I know women in great shape in their 60's, 70's and beyond.

You really truly don't know what life has in store for you and can only make the decisions you feel are right for you at that moment in time.

@Gummybear23 well we do seem to be very fertile in my family, but that would be pushing it. 😂😂

Wow

It’s interesting how people assume - older parents mean a high chance of having a child with a disability when that’s simply not true. There may be small percentage increase but whilst the risk increases, the chance of disability still remains low.

Had my first at 29 and my second is due when I'm 33. I feel so much older and more tired than with my
first. I think if I'd been in the right place to do it, I'd ideally have finished having kids by 30.

Got married at 36, I had my first at 38 and had a mc when ds was 8 mos (it was a planned 2nd baby). 41 would be pushing it for me, 40 would be better. But I’m low energy 😂

As someone who was fortunate enough to find love and easily have children at 26 and 32, I decided that 35 was the cut off for me. However if I had not met someone until much later I'm sure the age would have been older. I'm 38 now and feel like I could probably easily do it if I didn't already have two!!

I had my first one at 24 and my last at 32. I bounced back at 24 but felt haggard in my 30s so for me no older than 35!

I'm due to give birth to baby no.2 at 36 and don't feel too old, I may have started sooner had it been feasible but only because I always wanted children not because I think mid - late 30's is too old. I would like no.3 sometime in the next few years.

On both sides of our family lots of people including my Grandmother and DP's Mum had very healthy babies and pregnancies at 40. The women in our families also tend to live well (healthy and at home) in to their 90's. My 78 year old MIL has my little one a couple of days a week and is fitter than most people I know, I do wonder if having babies later in life played in to this. I'm sure I've previously read there's some evidence to suggest it does!

I met my husband when I was 39. Id always hoped for another child, having had one aged 20.

We conceived our child naturally and he's nearly 10 now. He loves having a grown up brother and we are fit and active and in my opinion have coped perfectly well so don't let all these comments put you off!

40. I had my only baby at 34 and I am knackered 6 years later. The thought of doing the first 18 months of sleepless nights again at this age makes me want to lie down.

It didn't come to it but to me giving birth 35 plus wouldn't have been what I wanted. If I'd have fertility difficulties I would have said I'd go up to 39 giving birth, and cut off then. I wouldn't have wanted to be 40 giving birth. Thankfully as it happened I was younger than 35.

There's no right or wrong answer...I had my only dd no problems at 41... Easy pregnancy, easy birth. Lots of energy but dd slept well after 4 months and dh and I tag teamed her so we both got sleep. I've had another mum friend who just had her dd at 45 and again all easy and went well and she really enjoying dd. She got two D's and never thought she have a dd. I think after 45 maybe... Depends on health, support etc....

I think 34-35 knocking on 50s is just pushing it even 40s is pushing it.
But i dont have to look after them thank god i chose not to have any.

35

any older than 35 your mid 50's before they are starting to move out/be independent etc

I was 20's, I would have had mine earlier if i could have!

There are cases where woman have given birth in their 60s or 70s (eg after menopause) using ivf, which imo is too old. About 10 or 20 years ago it almost seemed there were clinics in competition to have the oldest mum.

I'm amazed at some saying 30 for example which I think is younger than the average first time mum.
I'm 46 with 2 teens and can't imagine wanting a baby but I fully appreciate I could feel completely differently if I'd never had children