My bay is SO LOUD

[BabyMama889]

AIBU to consider putting him in his room next door? Obv with a monitor and we can hear him cry anyway. Breaks my heart just thinking of it but I'm desperate. He'll be 12 weeks in a few days. He squeals and grunts and kicks around for ages. Then he goes quiet but then we have to wind ourselves back down to sleep. Then he starts again and wakes us up. He sleeps solid 7 hour stretches but we are getting very little of it!!! When do they grow out of this?

We have white noise and ear plugs but nothing could cover up these sounds. My DH is ex military and used to say he can sleep anywhere and through anything. Except a newborn. Turns out a baby is enough to break him too 😂

His daytime naps are getting shorter so I can't even catch up on sleep in the daytime really.

Ahhhh yes i remember this well, the grunts like a little piggy sleeping next to me.

I dont remember if it settles or I just got used to it, I did always wait until around about the 6 moths but i realize that inst always feesable.

What i will say is baby monitors are really sensitive so you ill still hear it all when baby i in their own room x

Meant to add, why dont you try naps in his room nice and dark during the day to see if that helps initially.

I’d put him next door OP

You’ll get lots of replies saying he needs to be in a room with you till 6 months due to SIDS risk. But there are also risks (big ones) in having exhausted parents. Just nobody’s done medical studies on those.

Some people can sleep through baby grunting, some can’t. I couldn’t.

I read the thread title and thought this was going to be about a horse. 🤣

What is a bay?

I was told that the reason babies are supposed to be in with you until 6months, is that before then, they use another person's breathing in the room to help regulate theirs overnight. So although your monitor would allow you to watch them, it won't help them with their breathing. Having said that, lots of people do move their babies earlier. Only you can decide how comfortable you are with the SIDS guidance. I kept both mine in with me until 7months at least.

You also might find that it's far easier to have baby in your room when the regressions hit at 4months and 7months as its easier to resettle.

Do you have a spare room or space for a single bed in baby's room? We basically have a spare bed where one adult can sleep and get a really good nights sleep - often DH during the week, and then he takes over on the overnights at the weekend to give me a break or does the majority in the day so eg. I can go and nap.

@PrincessAnne4Eva sorry clearly too sleep deprived to type properly!!

Some common sense is needed.

If you're like me and 'his room' only actually makes him about 10 feet away from you then go for it. If you live in a large house and keep doors closed then don't.

So long as you can hear him if he needs you then I think it's fine.

She means baby, and you know it. Did you even read the op?!?! The clues are all there!!

I thought at first it might be about the OP's stay in a noisy hospital bay! 😅 Sorry you're struggling to sleep, OP.

Sorry, I think I've got horses on the brain today!

I'm disappointed it's not about a horse! But yes, put him in his own room. You'll all get more sleep.

Answering the actual question, DD was in her own room from 6 weeks old and was completely fine. She was a super light sleeper and no one got any sleep while she was in with us. She slept much better in her own room and never cried.

OP you’re only going to get people who moved their babies out before 6m and didn’t experience SIDS replying. It’s survivors bias.

If he is disturbing you, I’d leave him with Dad and go sleep elsewhere. If you’re breastfeeding he can wake you when baby needs a feed, if he’s bottle feeding do the night in stints or take turns alternating night on/night off.

😅 Username checks out.

I clicked in this thread because I couldn't figure out whether OP lived near a noisy parking bay, a noisy sea bay (too many boats?) or what sort of bay.

OP, we moved ours before six months. There is a risk and only you can decide whether it outweighs the risk of sleep deprivation.

I also expected a stallion. 😂 🐴
Does he fart like a horse?
The noises that can come from such a tiny baby were often quite surprising!

You have to do what works for you, but make sure you weigh up the risks for yourself and not rely on some other people having done it and not had a problem. Because a risk of SIDS, by its nature, doesn't mean that every single person who doesn't follow the recommendations will have a serious incident, it means that the risk of that happening is higher.

I'm afraid that parenting a newborn is just inescapably a time of sleep deprivation for the parents. There's no safe way around it. Some babies sleep better than others, but you're always going to be exhausted to the point of cracking for the first few months. It's not pleasant, but it can help to know that you're not alone and it will get better (says the parent of a teenager old who has still never slept through the night! But at least they get to an age when you can let them get on with it without supervision).

I would do what a pp suggested and take it in turns to sleep with the baby. Then you at least get every other night off. And you might have family whom you would trust to sleep in the room with him and wake you if needed so you get a longer break. Maybe try that before moving him to a room alone. And take day time naps whenever you can.

I moved my firstborn too young, on the insistence of MIL. Quite apart from any of the more serious concerns, it didn't help anyway because it just meant that instead of being able to roll over in a semi-concious doze and check she was ok, I had to get up and go over to another room to check on her, which made me fully awake.

"Survivor's Bias'. Only oh mumsnet 😂

OP, I feel for you, I really do but this is nature doing it's thing I'm afraid. Your body is now on high alert for baby noises (or in the worse case, lack of). I was once awoken by DS2 making an odd but very quiet noise, turned out he was choking on vomit but obvs was laying on his back & couldn't roll yet. Had he been in another room he'd have died.

To me, it's just not worth the risk. Sending hugs though, it's hard hard work in the early months, nothing prepares you for just how tired it's possible to be.

I thought she was on holiday and was moaning about the noise of the sea or local fishing boats! 😂

Babies are noisy as hell when they sleep (it's a good thing they're cute!). You'll have much better advice than I am able to give, but I am enjoying the sleep deprived typo interpretations!

It's actually a well documented thing not a "only on mumsnet" thing.

Honestly having them sleep in your room wasn’t around when I had my DC. They both went in their own rooms after the first week (and slept on their tummies) and they were fine. Oh and we didn’t have a baby monitor either!

Agree 100%

There is a good chance you and DP are waking him too.

Use a monitor, get some sleep.

I did this as soon as DC were sleeping well at about same age.

I'm not sure when you had your kids but the rate of sids now is a fraction of what it used to be even in the 80's. I mean it's rare, sure, but it's why guidance changes.

It's the back sleeping which reduced SIDs

Don't do that. It just makes you look nasty.

It's crystal clear from her post she means baby.