Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to pay less at work Christmas drinks?

274 replies

Rainallnight · 13/11/2024 22:43

Agh, I just wrote a long post and it got lost!

the short version is - it’s my work’s tradition that SMT members split the bill for drinks at our Christmas lunch. I am the least well paid member of SMT by some distance and have begun to feel this is unfair.

I’d rather we make a contribution that’s proportionate to our salaries.

AIBU?

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 14/11/2024 11:06

PiggyPigalle · 14/11/2024 10:52

When admin staff learn to save lives, they can be paid more.

Because there's no I in team. My admin staff can't give complex employment advice or attend court, but the professional job can't be done without them and as a professional I am grateful for their support. Including them as essential parts of the team means they go above and beyond.

The message implicit in your post goes a long way to explain the toxic and dysfunctional cultures in some organisations and feeds a jobs worth culture that deters people from seeking services.

1mabon · 14/11/2024 12:54

Pay for your own. I do not drink alcohol and don't see why I should pay for those who do, whilst I am drinking pop.

AuntieJoyce · 14/11/2024 13:16

This reminds me of those type of threads where the OP gets us all frothing about the level of maintenance being paid to the ex-wife together with all the extras and time spent in both houses. And it turns out very late in the thread when the OP finally returns that we’re talking about 50 quid a month.

This is entirely impossible to answer unless we know you’re talking about 10 quid 100 quid or 1000 quid. Please do come back and update us if you really want a sensible answer

5475878237NC · 14/11/2024 19:26

I'm hoping OP has just had a busy day and will let us know how much we're actually talking tonight or tomorrow.

Teanbiscuits33 · 14/11/2024 19:31

I just wouldn’t go. It’s silly they expect this and with the CoL I just wouldn’t bother. Christmas parties are never anything special anyway and you’re not going to enjoy it if you’re worried about money.

Rosiecidar · 14/11/2024 20:00

I think you have to suck it up to be honest. We do this in my company the company allocates a miserly budget for a lunch or dinner and it's impossible to keep within it so the senior people split it. If you don't go you'll still be asked to pay the split which I think is fair as if even one or two people ducked out those seniors that do go end up with an even bigger bill. Again there's quite a difference in earnings - around £40k between higher and lower senior staff. It's once a year.

JudgeJ · 14/11/2024 20:11

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 13/11/2024 23:14

@StormingNorman This drove me mad when my DH was in an organisation that did this. The bar bill would often run to anything up to £1000 (his share). bloody hell!! what were they drinking??? £500 bottles of champagne???? how could everyone's share be £1k each?

I think she means that her OH was on the management team and they picked up the tab for all the staff, sharing it between the managers. The staff must have thought it was Christmas, being able to drink without thinking about the bill! I wonder if they did it every year or learned an expensive lesson?

JudgeJ · 14/11/2024 20:19

Zanatdy · 14/11/2024 06:10

I work for a government dept and we don’t get anything. It’s just the way it is. I mean we barely have enough money to operate our business let alone spend millions on christmas meals. Tax payers wouldn’t be happy if they were funding this, and I don’t blame them. It’s just something you accept when you’re a public servant.

As a retired teacher I don't recall ever getting our Christmas meal paid for, or any other occasion, the Head would sometimes pay for a few bottles of wine or the first round of drinks but even that's not the norm. End of term drinks and nibbles would be funded from the Staff Fund where we contributed a fixed sum each term to cover presents etc..

SockFluffInTheBath · 14/11/2024 20:43

Maybe you could say SMT shout the first round and that’s it, one drink each. A lot of people take the mick at a free bar and will pour it down like there’s no tomorrow.

willstarttomorrow · 14/11/2024 21:51

@RosesAndHellebores- excellent post. I work in child protection to save money over the last decade we had 2 experienced admin on the team, then cut to one. Now we are at none and have a pod of mostly inexperienced people getting paid a salary no single person could live on. As a result, loads of social work hours are spent on quite specialised admin rather than us working directly with families and our hourly pay is much higher. How anyone can justify this as a good use of resources baffles me.

I worked for an amazing local charity, initially as a student on placement and then when I qualified for a couple as a social worker over 20 years ago. I have worked for the Local Authority now for nearly 20 years but because this charity is really good at what they do they are still around and do incredible work. They employ the right people to get funding from Children in Need/Comic relief/commissioning services for drug services/ youth work etc. They are a huge part of supporting the community which they know well. This grew out of a youth club and l a drug harm reduction service which was basically a couple of workers going to the estates with a back pack, clean needles and empathy. My city's drug services was based on their model of community drugs work, and 15 years later they remain a stakeholder and have have have huge success.

Other services continue. This includes preventing family break down, offering counselling and emotional support to parents and children, as mentioned drug treatment services, working with young people not in education or employment, young people at risk of sexual or criminal exploitation and much more. This requires having to bid for huge amounts of money and manage it appropriately which is a really skilled job.

No one at this charity takes huge salaries for what they do. However they need to employ the right people to keep going and ensure they get the funding they need to provide the services the public sector cannot because of governent cuts. When I was there, qualifed youth workers had a few hours funding from one source, then a few from another that were only guaranteed for 2 years at a time. I worked for the drugs service and our budget was slashed by 70% due to changes in policy and funding, yet they made it work. This only happens when the right people are employed. I am sure many towns and cities have similar charities doing amazing work and importantly not doing it to make a profit.

Why does anyone think that charity staff should work for free or at minimum wage? Most work for a salary way below their skill set alongside a huge level of uncertainty becaue their contract is only as long as there is funding in place. Due to the previous governments cuts in funding, charities have really had to step in where the state has failed to provide support for the most vulnerable people in the UK. Local authorities have also had no choice but to stop commissioning charities to provide support. However huge amounts of money were found to give contracts to Tory doners who did not deliver contracts.

Joloman74 · 15/11/2024 17:48

Everyone should pay for their own drinks. Not a chance in hell would I pay for other people who are blatantly going to take advantage and get pi**ed out of their heads. You work hard for your money.

Dishwashersaurous · 15/11/2024 17:50

This is standard in the public, third sector.

However, normally the smt are on similar wages.

Do you know what last year's was? Could you preempt and say for this year Christmas do, I can only afford to contribute £60 or whatever you want

Badlands1 · 15/11/2024 18:04

I work in the NHS and we vary the Christmas Party costs depending on payband eg all Consultants pay £100, All HCA's pay £15 and every one else pays somewhere in the middle depending on their salary
No one complains

Jack80 · 15/11/2024 18:20

Either don't go say busy or leave it to the day and say your sick. Why should management need to pay for drinks, can it just be a pay for your own drink event or wine on tables.

Rainallnight · 15/11/2024 18:33

Thanks for all the replies!

It’s interesting people think the amount matters so much - I’d thought of it more as an in principle thing.

Anyway, around £100-£130.

To answer the question about the salary disparity, one of the other salaries is particularly high because the nature of our service means that we need a particular qualification and skill set from that person, and this is the going rate for that.

I have considerable other experience and while my org pays a bit lower than others in my sector, it’s not by too much, and I’m happy in the role in other ways.

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 15/11/2024 18:35

And I forgot Mumsnet’s tendencies hate on the charity sector and all who work in it, so I’m just going to ignore those but thanks to PPs who’ve put forward very well reasoned points in defence.

OP posts:
5475878237NC · 15/11/2024 19:00

Badlands1 · 15/11/2024 18:04

I work in the NHS and we vary the Christmas Party costs depending on payband eg all Consultants pay £100, All HCA's pay £15 and every one else pays somewhere in the middle depending on their salary
No one complains

Love this way of doing it!

Lyraloo · 15/11/2024 19:28

Rainallnight · 15/11/2024 18:33

Thanks for all the replies!

It’s interesting people think the amount matters so much - I’d thought of it more as an in principle thing.

Anyway, around £100-£130.

To answer the question about the salary disparity, one of the other salaries is particularly high because the nature of our service means that we need a particular qualification and skill set from that person, and this is the going rate for that.

I have considerable other experience and while my org pays a bit lower than others in my sector, it’s not by too much, and I’m happy in the role in other ways.

Tbh once a year I’d just suck it up for that amount of money, it’s hardly a fortune!

BarbaraHoward · 15/11/2024 19:51

At that level I'd suck it up as a once a year goodwill gesture. You won't look good quibbling over relatively small amounts (when you think about the difference between splitting equally and splitting by salary).

twohotwaterbottles · 15/11/2024 20:43

It proper naffs me off the 'splitting bills' thing. And it's always the people with the most money who are all " oh let's split it" blah blah. There's absolutely no consideration for people's personal circumstances

UnderstandablyDisappointed · 15/11/2024 22:55

Anyway, around £100-£130.

So, 15 of you will work out at £300-390 or £20-26 per head, assuming there are 3 of you? If there are 4 of you and that £400-520, £27-34 -ish still sounds within bounds if it's London and there's a pre-lunch drunk or a drink on offer with the pudding or coffee. This year, I'd pay it even though that feels like a lot of money that I'd prefer to direct elsewhere.

If you want a different arrangement for the celebration in 2025, you have an opportunity to give plenty of notice that you want a different system.

maryanne3 · 16/11/2024 02:27

My boss used to make us do this. He was at director level and on c£180k, three underlings on c£80k, then about 10 other staff on c£40k. His Xmas do was a lunch at a restuarant (his choice) for whole team, c £1,500 cost, which had to be split “evenly” between “SMT”. c£350 a head, for us all.

Dogsbreath7 · 16/11/2024 02:31

YABU

I thought you were posting to say you don’t drink. If you drink you pay why should colleagues who earn more subsidise you?

Soft drinks these days get charged about same price as beer these days.

Dont go.

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/11/2024 05:55

So... did you benefit from this system in previous years?

ANd now don't want to cough up your share? Or were you not there for previous years, have you not had time to save up 100 ish quid for this?

MangoRose · 16/11/2024 06:05

Rainallnight · 15/11/2024 18:33

Thanks for all the replies!

It’s interesting people think the amount matters so much - I’d thought of it more as an in principle thing.

Anyway, around £100-£130.

To answer the question about the salary disparity, one of the other salaries is particularly high because the nature of our service means that we need a particular qualification and skill set from that person, and this is the going rate for that.

I have considerable other experience and while my org pays a bit lower than others in my sector, it’s not by too much, and I’m happy in the role in other ways.

For 100-130 I would just pay it. Presumably you know all year its happening so its not like its a massive surprise expense suddenly at Xmas.

I am NHS and we do similar in our team, salaries for SMT are around 60-100+, usually either Xmas meal (at work) split between them or something drinks split between everyone.

Swipe left for the next trending thread