These old male colleagues are weird

[Emila]

Bit of a rant but at the same time it just makes me sad to think that so many men are like this. So I'm 26 now, but when I was 19-23 I worked for a company across multiple branches in sales. I was always the only woman. Since I've left, no word of a lie, 3 of my old managers and 4 of my colleagues (male) have randomly texted me flirty messages for a 'catch up' although they were never flirty when I worked there. I looked up to these men all as they were more experienced than me. Theyve called me things like 'little one,' 'trouble' and 'supermodel.' One messaged me at 3am then deleted the message a day later and another said 'hey u look different long time no speak.' Theyre all married and older than me. I never reply.
They have zero reason to message me as when I left the business they knew I was changing industry entirely and we would never talk other than for work stuff at work. I'm also pissed because they have wives and kids. I'd be fuming if my husband was messaging an old (much younger) female colleague out of the blue for no reason other than to say 'hey trouble' and ask for a catch up.
Weird behaviour.
Today I've received another one and I replied 'what are you hoping to achieve from this conversation?'
Am I being a bitch or reading into it?

Bloody creeps. I love your reply!

Perfect response. Utter effing creeps. The ego!!!

Years ago when I was temping, I worked in an all male engineering team. I was asked to help out at a weekend conference. Over the course of the weekend, most members of the team hit on me culminating with the manager on the final evening.

I turned them all down and on the Monday got a phonecall telling me not to come back.

Nothing surprises me. Just block all their numbers.

Just block em. I was the same at your age; lots of unwanted attention. Its hard not to let it taint your view of men. I literally didn't want a relationship at your age and that was one of the factors.

The reality its not just men...much of society including women lack integrity and loyalty. But there are a good crop of those who don't lack too 🥰 It took me till 34 to find one for me; but I did. So don't let it get you down or lose hope ❤️

I'm sorry to read this OP. I keep reading posts like this and think, but I'm not like that so it can't be all men. But clearly it is a significant percentage. I dread my daughters having to put up with this kind of unsolicited attention. I think your response was spot on.

Had similar issues working in a male dominant company when I was 16! Heard comments to customers over the phone and then 'well you can't say that she is only 16' -should not have been discussing me at all! I left when my 50+ manager tried to kiss me at a Christmas party... 26 now and it amazes me how much less attention I get now I'm a fully grown woman 🤷‍♀️

Ewww! I absolutely love your response because it’s a simple question but puts them on the spot. It’s a bit like asking someone to explain why a sexist/racist joke is funny.

Some men are just pathetic creatures.

Excellent response.

So many utter sleazebags out there. I had a married man hit on me last summer and I'm nearly 50.

I bet there is a little bet between them to see if any of them 'get lucky' with you. I'd forward all the messages to their superiors

I'm a man and this made me cringe. Fucking creeps.

Fantastic response. Now wait for the "I was only..." replies.

The world hadn't changed for these older guys who see themselves as some kind of babe magnet😂. Your reply was spot on. It does worry me that this behaviour will still be going on when my granddaughter starts work. Would block their numbers.

Good reply. I seemed to meet a remarkable number of sales creeps, which I always thought was coincidence, but maybe it attracts a disproportionate number of awful men?)

That’s grim @Emila I do hear from older male (and female) former colleagues but the regular catch-up stuff after being in the same team for years. What you are experiencing is nothing like normal. Yuck.

😂@FierceQuiet I don't think it's the industry that's the common denominator here.

@Emila You absolutely did the right thing!

Well, I've worked in environments where a disproportionate number of the senior people are men for my entire working life, and while I've encountered my fair share of lazy, unpleasant or angry men, or those who like throwing their weight around, I've actually never encountered much sleaze at all.

Married men for you…
I was hit on by countless married men when I was your age too
It was very grim indeed

Great response OP...I'd be inclined to contact your old HR dept and recommend a training course. Not sure if it would do any good but might highlight how bloody predatory some of their male staff are.

Same tiny. A subset of deluded married men think they have a chance with attractive young women in their office. Where do they get this self confidence? It’s insane. Was hit on numerous times as a young woman. Err no thanks mate I’m looking for a lovely single man of my own age to build a life with.

Good reply, OP. Please let us know if he comes back to you!

Unfortunately a significant percentage of men are like this. I've worked in male dominated environments most of my life and if their wives could only see and hear what goes on they wouldn't hesitate to file for divorce. Sadly too many women really believe that it's "not my husband".

Sorry have I read this right, 7 men from your place of work that you left 3 years ago have your number and still think about you and message you 3 years on?

Many people have pretty much forgotten about old colleagues within weeks of them leaving.

You must be incredibly memorable.

It's not weird behaviour, it's standard behaviour. Unfortunately.

It's pretty common, I left a workplace 10 years ago and had a message on LinkedIn (!) from someone last year telling me he had problems in his marriage and did I want to meet up.

I don't doubt that you did have 1 person contact you on a place where you can keep up with old colleagues like LI. Bit different from having 7 men with your personal phone number still in their contacts, a couple may be.

I worked in male industries too and had the usual issues from chancers to full on SA. I know what it is like but I am very strict with boundaries.