To think this is strange to ask in a school interview

[Isthisallowedtoday]

NC for this,

my ADHD child attended an assessment day for a local independent yesterday.

The interview was conducted by the SENCo, who according to my child spent most of the 10 minutes asking about their ADHD.

AIBU for thinking that it’s not fair that non neurodivergent applicants get to sell themselves for 10mins, whereas my child was asked about their ADHD, which doesn’t define them as a person.

How is this relevant for how they will contribute to school life?

As the interview was conducted by the SENCo it sound sensible that they discussed his ADHD so they knew how to support him.

Presumably the assessment day consisted of more than this interview so he had other chances to 'sell himself'.

If he attended an interview being conducted by a SENCO it was purely to talk about his ADHD and see what support he would need and ensure they are able to meet his needs.

Presumably they need to know as much as they can about your child's condition and how it impacts them in order to know if they can fully support them?

Online assessments and three taster lessons.

They have been medicated for their ADHD and do not require adjustments aside from extra time in exam situations. Aside from this they function in ‘typical’ way at school, which I hope has been reflected in their reference.

Ok, comments taken on board regarding SenCo seeing what support they need (though, they do not need any as medicated!), should this have been communicated to me?

This is my first child, and first independent school assessment day.

I agree it's a bit rotten. If all the others got the head teacher asking about hobbies, hopes and aspirations and your son got a grilling in his medical condition it's not very fair.

The school does need to ensure he gets support if he us successful, and they do want to make sure he would get the most out of what the school offers but this doest seem the best way to arrange support or check if he is a good fit.

Thank you, you’ve put my thoughts into words perfectly.

Well, you only have his word for it that it was only about his ADHD for a start. Assuming that he is 9/10 plus ADHD affecting sense of time then it's something to take with a pinch of salt.

But they do need to understand him and what he needs. Yes, once he gets the place, they should create a care plan with both of you, but for now they are asking him to try and assess if they can properly support him. They don't know "it's all fine because he's medicated" without asking and he might well actually tell them he struggles with X, Y and Z that you don't know about.

Maybe the others didn't have interviews at all? Maybe they had interviews with the Rugby coach if applying for a sports scholarship etc.

They are 10 (young Y6) and quite aware of time.
They have a good memory and recounted the interview in the car on the way home.
The only other questions asked were regarding participation in sports, favourites subjects and what do they feel they aren’t good at. At the most basic level without any further exploration.

If you feel they need to sell themselves to the school I'd gently suggest you're doing it wrong. Is the school good enough to support your child to not only learn but to thrive? This really should be something on your mind. You're teaching your child to think they're not quite good enough and have to prove themselves. Kind of sad.

All applicants are interviewed at this school.

I haven’t spoken to my child about the impression they have made. They were telling us how the day went and this part of the discussion raised a red flag in my mind.

Thank you, but I am quite aware of what they do and don’t struggle with. They’re currently at a small prep, so the lines of communication are open and frequent.
They were taken themselves surprised that they were asked about it, as it hadn’t been addressed in interview prep conducted at their current school.

Also to add to this, we have only registered them for 2 schools with a lot of consideration. First impressions suggest that the school would be good for them, but their interview questions has us
doubting this now!

It’s totally up to the school how they conduct the interviews. If you aware getting a weird vibe, trust your instincts and steer clear. They may be a school that will “weed out” kids who it perceives will underperform and damage its academic stats. It may not be a school that is willing to take any risk by enrolling a child that may have “issues. If one pupil causes disruption, the school will face complaints. A child medicated at the age of ten may be ringing alarm bells for some private schools. Other schools may be very different.

Ten minutes is no time at all though. How much exploration do you think is possible in such a short amount of time? I’d be more concerned they think they have a measure of my dc within just a few minutes.

Unless it is a private school that specialises in educating students with learning difficulties and/or neuro divergence they will have been sussing out if your child will be a problem or detract from the experience of their other customers. Private schools are businesses, all about exam results and pleasing their customers. They can avoid problems and very quickly get rid of students whose needs they can’t meet.

98th centile academically so no chance of them hurting their results.

Then they will be checking out potential to cause problems in other areas, such as behaviour, or taking up a disproportionate amount of staff time. Unlike a state school they have no obligation to take on a particular child.

I’m on the fence

I can absolutely understand why you feel this is unfair, and it is unfair to treat a child differently because of SEN.

But tbh, this may work out better for your son. At the time of giving offers these oversubscribed schools will be sifting out anyone they have doubts over. It is actually better that they explore his ADHD thoroughly at this stage (with a qualified SENco asking the questions) and feel comfortable that it genuinely won’t cause problems in class, than them getting to the point of making offers and hesitating over making your son an offer because they don’t have enough information about his ADHD.