To think this is strange to ask in a school interview

[Isthisallowedtoday]

NC for this,

my ADHD child attended an assessment day for a local independent yesterday.

The interview was conducted by the SENCo, who according to my child spent most of the 10 minutes asking about their ADHD.

AIBU for thinking that it’s not fair that non neurodivergent applicants get to sell themselves for 10mins, whereas my child was asked about their ADHD, which doesn’t define them as a person.

How is this relevant for how they will contribute to school life?

Or they could have already decided they want him and are concentrating on how best to support him.

I know what you mean, but you don't want him anywhere he's not wanted and whether they can meet his needs is a crucial part of whether he should attend the school. If they only found out about his hobbies and not his needs, there would be a far higher risk of them taking your money for a couple of years and then randomly deciding at the start of Y9 or Y10 that he is not welcome any more.

However you're right that he should be treated like everyone else and then they should do fact finding about his SEN - perhaps mainly with you - separately.

I understand that they need to explore their ADHD but I would expect them to have a conversation with you about it and ask you for any written reports you have.
My child have additional needs (older teen). I can have a conversation with another child with additional needs and get information how their diagnosis affects their everyday life without mentioning their diagnosis at all. I’m experienced enough by now to read between the lines. That’s what qualified Senco should’ve done. She can’t base the plan of support on what 10 y.o child has told her. If she does that, she is not qualified enough.

This will be irrelevant to them as I expect they have an entrance exam anyway. In the interview they are interested in the child's manners, behaviour, interests, co operation and participation. They will be keen to ensure that a child with any additional needs will not disrupt anything for their other customers.

Is your child non binary? I'm just picking up on your use of they/them. I'm wondering if that's another reason why time was spent with Senco to establish how they may need extra support etc in school. I know some schools struggle with this aspect of life and with the ADHD on top it might be why the conversation was dominated by these topics.

When did they find out they had ADHD
How did they feel before medication
How do they feel now they’re medicated and what’s the difference between before and after
Does their ADHD cause them problems
with friends.

Surely these are questions for their current school
SenCo? Not the actual child.

I also don’t mean to drip feed, but we have visited this schoo twice prior to and I have spoken to the SenCo and during our conversation she had said that when children are already recognised and medicated it makes their role very easy, they just need to offer pastoral support if necessary and check in with them from time to time (which is all my child needs).

They have robust support at home and from extended family. They attend their current school as any neurotypical child. They currently have an academic scholarship so I am floored at the interview technique.

I teach in independent, we have to be very careful not to take on pupils who could cause general disruption, which in turn could lead to other parents complaining or withdrawing their DC.

We have a good number of pupils with ASD, ADHD etc. all get excellent SEN provision both in class and in our specialist hub, but all are "team players" with the rest of the pupils, no discipline issues outside of the normal range, that is not something we would be looking to take on as our parents pay a lot of money to send their DC to us and don't expect that education routinely disrupted by anyone.

No they’re not - I chose not to disclose their gender on here, that’s all.

They’re not a disruptive child in their current setting. In fact the opposite, a peer support and mentor to younger children.

Interesting that being medicated at age 10 would raise concerns. That’s not been something that has been flagged to me before.

That's great

But the school are just testing the water, they are seeing if your DC is happy talking about their diagnosis with others, and their needs - because of course if they are getting SEN support the other children may ask them about it, they are looking at a maturity of understanding about their own condition.

That in my mind is a good thing.

I think you're perhaps being a bit naive to think that just because they're medicated and don't need any help in primary, they won't need any additional support with the transition to secondary.

It does make me a bit uncomfortable tbh - I would think they'd do this after they'd confirmed a place to avoid it looking like they'd rejected a child because of their SEN. I'd probably try to speak to the SENCo myself for some reassurance tbh.

Independent schools are often able to offer more support than state schools tk those with ADHD even those who have it controlled by medication. I promise its a good sign rather than a red flag that they are speaking with him this early.

I’m really surprised that a private school will be keen to take a child with any sort of nurodiversity at all tbh. In my experience most will very much avoid doing so. I guess with the added VAT and Cost of living they have to be less choosy these days.
They will have been sussing out your child to see if they are going to lower exam results or distract other kids in any way or be any sort of inconvenience at all.
Unless this school is a huge exception how most are run, I’m astonished that any parent would want to send a nurodiverse child to somewhere like this.

I don’t think you have been clear whether this Senco interview was in addition or instead of a different interview compared to what other candidates experience.

From what you have said I feel the school have been entirely reasonable. Although in your position I would probably be feeling exactly the same way, so you are not unreasonable either!

Your child / your family are very lucky that ADHD seemingly has such a minimal impact btw.

Oh do bugger off with this. I work in a private school which is nothing like you describe. About 40% of our students have SEN. Please don't make these lazy assumptions and state them as fact.

Independent schools can really do what they want. Like
all interviews, they are checking the fit of the student. The academic ability here is not relevant as they’ll all have to pass their entrance exam.

If they don’t offer a place, they are telling you they cannot support your child as they require.

I do agree with PP; a child who is medicated but fine in primary may still struggle with the transition to secondary.

Well it sounds like your school specialises in SEN so this does not discount the PP’s point.

My DCs highly selective private secondary had a lot of ND students, and a very good SEND department. Not all schools are the same.

I would rather this than not being offered a place because the SENCO couldn’t be bothered to find out more (which is what happened to us).

My DD requires some very small adjustments in foreign language listening exams due to a hearing problem. She has a condition which for her is very mild but in some instances can cause huge problems accessing education (it’s a processing thing). Instead of finding out more, speaking to us, having a meeting with the SENCO and getting feedback from her old school, it was just an outright no.

I would have been over the moon if she had been given a 1 to 1 with the SENCO as part of the interview process.

This wasn’t our first choice school thankfully and she got offers (with scholarships) from all the other schools she applied to. It just highlighted that it DEFINITELY wasn’t the right place for her.

I can understand your concerns but I would wait and see. If they get an offer then it could be exactly the right place for them as they have taken the time to see if they can support them.

This school did come highly recommended by my child’s current primary. We did upload the relevant reports and were completely transparent about their ADHD.

To the PP, yes we are lucky that their ADHD has been managed well by medication. Their doc and us are fairly confident that they will be able to drop the meds by university.

Thank you all so much for your replies, they’ve given me a lot to think about!

Now we will have to wait and see what the results say.

I admire your honesty about independent schools not wanting to take on anyone who would be disruptive - which goes a long way in explaining the success rates.
Not having to spend half the lesson dealing with the class clown, or missing books etc.

As for OP's child having to sell themselves to a school - are you paying money to this school shouldn't the school be selling itself as a business does

Yes it should be, but as a popular school that has recently turned co-ed they have the pick of the crop so to speak.

What is my stance, if you’ve gleaned it please let me know as I’m not quite sure myself!

I’ve just asked whether this is acceptable, but what I suppose I mean is normal - like I’ve said previously this is my first experience with secondary school assessment days/interviews. It’s not something that we were briefed on when the interview questions pack was sent to us.