Should 4-5 year olds or younger know about money etc

[kifchanetta]

I've met this mum through school who is pretty judgemental towards others.

She said she didn't want her child hanging around one of the other kids, because the dad pretended to be a dragon once at a kids party and was chasing the kids around. She thought that was stupid...

Anyway, she really does think her parenting is pretty amazing. She tries to lecture me a bit sometimes about parenting and what I should and shouldn't do.

I'm a very respectful person and would never talk that way about anyone or overstep with others. I find it hard to assert myself in situations when someone is clearly overstepping with me and people just keep going until I either blow up or just avoid them altogether. Not all people are like this mum though and overstep, most people are polite and respectful towards me. Occasionally I come across these overstepping types that think they know everything better, unfortunately.

One thing I noticed is that she is really proud of herself for instilling an amazing work ethic in her child from 3,4,5 years of age. Telling her child they don't have money for XYZ toy or holiday etc.

She also does this bit with her child where she goes ' what do we need to do to get nice things ? ' and the child goes ' work ' and she goes, what do we get when we work, and the child goes ' money '.. she seems really proud of herself for his little skit. She tried to do it on my child and my child just didn't get it and again, it seemed to be something she got all up on her high horse about- how kids need to know about the value of money etc etc.

My child is 4. I haven't discussed money with her really to a great degree. I've explained that we need money to buy things and that her dad and I work to buy things we need for our family. That's about it. I don't think she should be worrying about us not having money and things like that yet. She's so young. I grew up, always worrying about not having enough money and my parents arguing over money from a young age and I don't want my children to worry about this stuff.

Anyway, what does everyone think ? Am I not bringing my children up to work hard ? I will introduce the notion of working for pocket money and the likes, when they get a bit older. But I don't think at 4 they need to be worrying about whether we have money or not.

Kids do need to know about money from a young age. I do wonder how easy it will be once the concept of physical cash has gone.

I used to get 1 old penny a day from about 5 and on the way to school I could choose what sweets I wanted for playtime (yes, I know, it was a different time).

4 black jacks for 1p. Or, I could get 2 black jacks and save the halfpenny until tomorrow. If I did that a few times, I was heading into sherbet dib dab territory.

It wasn't high finance, but I was learning that things cost money and sometimes we had to save or go without to get something better.

Your school mum isn't doing anything wrong but as others have said, it's sounds all a bit of a performance, more about her being a worthy parent than anything else.

I think they should get the idea that parents can't buy everything and the money comes from work. Surely it would come up in conversation like why can't I have another toy or can we go on holiday again?

However the other stuff sounds a bit odd, not hanging round with a kid whose dad plays and runs around!?

@Meowingtwice I can honestly say my dc when 4 never asked for more then they were offered. We did not give them money for sweets. It’s not a vax thing for slightly older dc to have limited spending money for something they choose but we have never offered up £5 so they could spend the lot on sweets as has been suggested here. I think the relationship with money, at 4, can be relaxed and where are all these demanding dc coming from? I feel so lucky I didn’t have this. I feel confident friends didn’t either. Maybe if dc don’t know about money, they just get what they are given and are more content?

If you don't like someone, as a general rule of thumb it's best to just nod, smile and chat to someone else.

Learning about money is quite normal, it's even in the curriculum for year 1 so your child won't be held back from hearing about it for much longer. By 4/5, DS was understanding absolute values of how much he could spend on a friend's gift, how much pocket money went on ice cream or a ride, how much new toys cost for him etc. By 6 he was into relative values like negotiating extra pocket money for extra homework, asking how much a private secondary school costs and comparing that to his pocket money (no idea why except that a friend's parent works there), then this week came up with the idea for a stand outside the house selling ice lollies (in winter, yes) to raise money for lego.

I agree with you that children shouldn't worry if there is "enough" money, but they can still understand there are maximums to be spent on entertainment and toys. Think of it as maths practice.

That's good, your kids sound wonderful, but in any case think its good to talk about the world with your kids in an age relevant way. When my kid asks what a bank is or why people work I'm not going to say well you're too young for such questions you ungrateful *.

Having said that if it hasn't come up in conversation when they're age 4-5 that's still quite young.

@Meowingtwice Yes I do think 4 is quite young. I’m not sure how dc learn pestering for things. I think we were clear about what was on offer and didn’t engage in debate. So pestering did not work and they did not do it. They were not wonderful but we established boundaries. They made choices within the boundaries. They didn’t ask much about work as DC but working parents were everywhere! From relatives, us, our friends and other parents. We didn’t need to keep talking about it to instil in them there was a need to work. They got it!