Not too happy about my partner telling other women at work that they are pretty

[PurpleCat44]

My partner is in his early 30s, and good looking. He works alongside mainly women.

Tonight my partner came home after work, and told me one of his colleagues at work is pretty. I asked more about her and he said she’s in her 60s but looks great, and he told her that she’s pretty/ gorgeous. Baring in mind their age difference, I don’t know if I’m just being silly. He’s also told me that he’s said the same thing to a few other women (again mostly older women) in the office to be friendly with them.

He also told me some of these women were being flirty with him , like asking how tall he is( he’s tall), and telling him he has a baby face.

Is it just harmless office banter or am I reasonable to not be too happy?

Why's he telling you this? Is it to make you jealous?

Seems unprofessional to me and he might find himself the subject of a complaint

Every office has a sleaze ball…..

Yuck. No one should be saying that stuff at work.

Sounds like he's warming you up for when he tells younger and younger women that they are pretty. I'd make a fuss if I were you, even if you don't care.

Or tell him that you've been complimenting the silver foxes at your office on their general older-man 007-ness. If you don't work, any random man you supposedly struck up conversation with will do.

Your partner is behaving unprofessionally.

He needs to wind his stupid neck in and stop commenting on his female colleagues' looks before someone makes a complaint.

His colleagues do not get up and dressed and out to work every day just for him to evaluate their looks.

What a loser.

These women are not being flirty with him. They're putting up with him because he's clearly an idiot and because women are conditioned to be nice to men making fools of themselves.

It's a bit risky/ unnecessary to voice it I guess.

However, I often appreciate the beauty of men and women in a similar way to music or art. Maybe he's similar.

I feel ultimately he's messed up because you're upset, and if he knew you well he should have foreseen that. If it helps though, I know many women who openly gush about handsome men around their husbands, and have known marriages where both partners have acknowledged/ joked about the other having a soft spot for someone else, without it ever being perceived as a threat to their relationship.

Asking how tall you are and saying you have a baby face is not flirting. Telling women in the office that they are pretty is shitty behaviour.

He's the office sleeze 🤮

He wants to be very careful. He'll get a reputation as the creepy colleague and sooner or later someone will make a complaint.
As his DP I'd find this really off putting. He's either a massive flirt or he's saying these things insincerely. Either way, it's ill judged.

There’s always “that” guy in the office and unfortunately for you, it’s your partner.

HARMLESS OFFICE BANTER!!!1

How does he want you to react? Is he trying to make you jealous, show his worth to you??

Not attractive behaviour

I find some of these responses quite funny, saying someone is pretty or looks good for their age is not sleazy or flirting. I do think you sound a bit jealous. What are you like if you are out together and he glances around the room and God forbid clapps eyes on another female?

Is your husband Wayne Rooney??

Sorry...

Agree with others, sleazy and unprofessional

Going against everyone it’ll of it depends- he could honestly just be telling you because you tell each other everything, or he could be saying it to make you jealous. Likewise easy to say there’s something untoward but I’ve definitely worked in places where there was banter and chat and it was harmless. Yes there’s a lot of times it might be but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist where people chat like this and eg say ‘you’re so tall’ or ‘you look so young’ etc. all very dependent though and personally I wouldn’t be thrilled but I’m not very trusting of men or women at the moment

edited to add he does need to perhaps hear to watch his step in case people don’t think of the workplace as appropriate

Well giving compliments is OK in another thread and anyone who has issue with it has problems

It’s unprofessional and also weird that he’s telling you.

Maybe he is just trying to build a rapport with someone 30 years his senior, who he has little in common with? So uses the default "good morning Julie, looking gorgeous today!" and maybe they reply "oooh you cheeky boy"

I’d say awkward rather than creepy, and maybe a bit immature for thirties

If someone behaved like that in my workplace they’d soon get short shrift from HR. First of all, commenting on someone’s looks is incredibly unprofessional and secondly the comment about age is ageist. Imagine you replaced the word ‘old’ with the word ‘black’ or ‘disabled’ or ‘Jewish’?

Honestly, it really does depend on the conversation which we don’t know and you don’t know so it’s hard to say. God only knows why he told you though.

Sounds like an employment tribunal waiting to happen. Older women generally don’t want your boyfriend opining on their looks in the workplace. It’s weird he’s telling you too although I wonder whether he’s expecting a pat on the back for being an equal opportunities sleaze.

Yabu to be with this walking ick of a man

Where does he work that they are able to sit and talk about each other’s physical appearances?

Does he think that he is doing them a favour by telling the ‘oldies’ that they are pretty ?
He is at work, he doesn’t need to comment on anyone’s looks .

I found it patronising and irritating when a 30-something guy would address my colleague and me when he came into our office as 'young ladies' - as though we would be flattered.

I told him to stop it and he did.

To be honest it wasn't sleazy, and I know a sleazeball when I see one, more just simply patronising that he should think that we would like it!