to think my Mum should avoid getting drunk at the moment?

[deaconblue]

My Mum has agreed to come and look after ds when I go into labour. I am due in two weeks time. On Thursday she is going to a lunch with friends which occurs monthly and always ends up with her being so drunk she can hardly talk and a monstrous hangover the next day. She isn't a drunk btw, it's just this one group of friends once a month. I asked today if she planned to drink on Thursday and said if so I would ask my sister to be in charge should I go into labour Thursday. She was shirty and couldn't see why she shouldn't look after ds if she'd been out with her friends. I said she may need to drive him somewhere.
I expected her to say she'd meet her friends and only have a couple of glasses of wine but was surprised when she agreed my sister should stand in instead.
Sorry very long post BUT am I being unreasonable in thinking she should ditch the booze for just this lunch date??

but if your sister is there to step into the breach, then i don;t really see it is a problem.. unless you have a history of giving birth at 38 weeks...

if you do go into labour, then your sister will be there for your DS,. it is not like your mum was potentially going to be your birth partner. and would be letting you down if she got legless that day

It is reasonable for you to ask her to not drink but she is also reasonable to refuse, especially as you have a backup for that day already sorted.

ok perhaps I'm being a bit precious. Just surprised that she wouldn't be happy to go out and have just two glasses of wine at a lunch time, seems like plenty of wine for during hte day to me.

hurrah Littlelapin thank you for agreeing. I was sure I would be inundated with people saying how mean my mum was being TBH I think she's pretty confident I won't go into labour Thursday and she's probably right, but it annoys me nonetheless.
she has, however, come over this morning, cleaned my kitchen and hall floor, hoovered my living room and the sofa cushions so perhaps I can forgive her drunken lush tendencies

YABU...She is doing you a favour and anyway what are the changes of you going ino labour on Thurs night or early Friday morning...slim. Let your mum enjoy herself

She's not your birth partner though is she? Do you really expect her to put her life on hold in case you go into labour. If she was leaving you in the lurch with no one to mind your son then that would be different, but other arrangements have been made and it really sounds as though you begrudge her having fun.

I do begrudge her having fun - I am hugely pregnant and knackered
I know, it's not a big deal as my sister is on hand and dh will be with me and I'm not likely to have the baby etc etc BUT it's just one lunch date and it's not like you can't have fun unless you get rat-arsed is it?

Well no, of course you can have fun without drinking. But basically you're saying no one can drink for the next month or so in case you go into labour. And that's not really fair IMO. I know it's a bit crap at the end though. Soon be over

poor dh is on a booze ban too. I AM beginning to sound a little unreasonable

Yes, YABU.

You and DH chose to have a child, your mother has kindly offered to help you out if she can. Plenty of people manage to have babies without putting their mothers on booze bans.

lol Littlelapin. MIL will be over hte blardy moon the day she rejects pink in favour of a football shirt

What's strange about your Mum's behaviour is that she expected still to look after your DS even if she was drunk or hungover. That really is unreasonable. She can say that you probably won't go into labour on Thursday and she's probably right, but she could say that about any particular day, couldn't she? The point is that you will go into labour at some point in the next month and you will need someone to look after DS.
You have done the right thing though, in having a back-up person to look after your DS, as even though I think it's perfectly reasonable to give up alcohol for a month to be on stand-by, obviously your Mum doesn't, and I think that that is her decision.
DH will be on an alcohol ban, and the car will be full of petrol at all times, when my turn comes around.

DH not the same as a mother.

Well presumably if the OP doesn't want her mum drinking on Thursday, she doesn't want her drinking on Friday or Saturday or any other day of the week either.

And it is perfectly possible to look after a child when you have a hangover you know

That last comment was directed at mrstittlemouse, not you lapin.

she has 3 and is usually really over the top attentive. I suspect she detects that I disapprove of quite how legless she gets with this set of friends and is being stubborn in response. I did go a bit judgy last time when she couldn't speak properly on her return and I had a go at her for getting the bus in that state.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

I know, she is usually so prim and proper.