To not like a friends kid?

[Cheekydachshundlover]

I’d now say loose friends…. Long story on that one but we were very good friends,

but I don’t like her DC, she’s feral, runs around in restaurants/cafe, is chaotic with toys ( very heavy handed) doesn’t listen, there isn’t much discipline there… you get the picture.
My child tends to copy her when together and I find it so difficult to tell her off as I feel like I’m judging the other child. My child is just very different.

How do people deal with these situations?

They may end up going to the same primary school!!!!!

I would just discipline your own child as you usually would and explain to them that other parents may parent differently, but as your DC, it's up to you to decide what is and isn't ok behaviour.
If the other mother is offended by that it isn't really your concern. I agree with you though, I wouldn't allow my child to run wild when out in a public place.

Sometimes friendships don't last when things change ie kids come along.

How has she said she is an excellent parent, and is right you can set boundaries for your child but when they see another child doing something they wouldn't normally be allowed to do and getting away with it they can try to copy the child to see if they will also get away with it resulting in an awkward situation when OP corrects her child while the other child continues to get away with it.

I went away with my 2yo and my friend and her 2yo who had no bedtime, no volume control and unlimited snacks. We just won't go away together again. My 2yo copied everything (or tried) and was a nightmare for weeks after.

I agree with outdoor or playgroup/soft play meet ups only. Friend's child is never the worst one at soft play.

Time to end this friendship
Try and get your DC into a different school.

Don't think it's very nice you saying you don't like her child and that she's feral! Obviously they are pre -school age so her child will learn boundaries in the near future. Personally I would distance myself for now but stay friendly if possible

It's nothing wrong with the child (I presume). It's her mother's lack of parenting that's creating this problem. Raising children is hard but when you put all your heart in it you tend to have limited patience with lazy parents and their offspring. One of mine was a freak show but it was my freak show and I made sure that noone else got bothered even if that ment me being on the playground instead of talking to the mums on the benches.

We’re not your friend, we don’t like you. The kids are 3yr

Normal behaviour.

My DD used to come back from the CM stating that x or y said that. At CM mostly girls. And some of them were just over 2 when they started saying that nonsense.

At nursery mostly boys so they tended to disrupt games instead.

Btw if the adult is your friend she shouldn't be offended if you redirected her child's poor social behaviour, and vice versa. Though my friends can tell my DD off, and anyone who sees my DD doing something dangerous is welcome to stop her.

Thanks for the mainly positive advice. I’ve never proclaimed my DD is a saint! All I was asking for was how to deal with telling my child how to behave yet the other child is doing what she wants. We were never friends before kids only since having children so our friendship has been based around kids so as far as I’m concerned I can have an opinion as the only reason we’re friends is because of our children meeting at a baby class.

Children don’t just ‘learn boundaries’ at some vague point in the ‘near future’ - the parent has to instil that from an early age! At 3, they should already be used to being given simple expectation commands such as holding mummy’s hand, sitting nicely, no running in the cafe etc.

Op YANBU. If it’s making life difficult I would distance or even ditch. Life is too short to hang around with dipsticks who can’t manage their feral offspring.

I meant at school but yes my 3 learnt from me but maybe said child has learning difficulties, I thought saying didn't like child and feral were a bit ott

Agree with this.

I took my DD to lunch with a (no longer but not to do with this) friend. Her DS was banging his cutlery about, being really loud and running about while other people were trying to enjoy their meal. She didn't say a thing, almost as if she thought it was funny. My DD then thought she could do the same. I quickly told her she wasn't allowed. I did quietly tell her that different parents allowed different things so as not to embarrass the ex friend, but in hindsight I shouldn't have cared. If they're fine with it then up to them, if they're embarrassed then it means they know it's wrong.

Do you Need to like her? Just accept that that's the way it is, , she's not yours find something else to worry about. In every group, every class etc you,your child, will come across a huge range of behaviours, both acceptable and unacceptable just give her the tools to recognise that she can do her own thing.