To travel 100 miles a day for work for this salary?

[ThisPeachSnake]

Basically, I'm stuck. I've built my career in London, up to a salary now of 58k. I'm now a specialist in my field and I've worked hard to get here. We have been looking to move out of the city, as we just can't afford to buy here. We have one small child. I'm the main breadwinner, although my partner also works FT.

The only issue is that I can't find an equivalent job outside London. At all. The specs are wrong, or I'd have to take a massive salary cut and be demoted.

The place we are looking at is 50 miles from my work in London. Takes anything between 1hr5min to 2 hours according to Google maps. I can't work from home as I'm in a patient facing job.

So, just that really. Would you travel two hours a day to keep your job?

My DH worked 45 miles away from home on a contract for 18 months. To avoid the worst of the M25 traffic he'd leave the house at 5.30am but then this meant that he was travelling home around 4.30pm and hitting the afternoon rush hour.

He did it because he had to, but he was exhausted. He's said now that if an opportunity came up at the same place again he'd either insist on WFH for a couple of days a week, or would stay over one night a week as he doesn't know how he managed it.

As a patient facing role you're unlikely to be able to choose your own hours, so assuming it's a "regular" time, you'd be hitting rush hour both ways.

I'm not sure how long your work day is, but assuming it's 8.5 hours, worst case scenario you're looking at 2 hours each way on top of that, so you'd leave the house at 7am and not get home until 7.30pm. Is that truly sustainable when you have a child as well?

Think of the what if scenarios. What if you move and the commute becomes unsustainable? What would you do then?

I would consider doing it for the short term in order to buy the house and then quit for a local job.

At the end of the day your job does not pay enough for the lifestyle and family that you want. Sadly you can’t have both so you need to prioritise.

I get the impression you're saying (without wanting to be too specific) that you've started as a generalist in a specialist area somewhat carved out a niche for yourself locally, is that about right? And job vacancies elsewhere are now either too broad or too specialist hence the pay grades not matching what you want?

Could maybe be a question of speaking to some hiring managers.or dept heads, in areas of interest, explaining your skillset and experience and seeing if their vacancies could be a fit? Might give you an idea of how portable your CV really is before deciding you need to commit to a gruelling commute. I would imagine more than you think.

Oh and maybe try the commute just to see. On a busy run. If it's an hour each way, that's manageable in my book but two is too much every day.

Apologies if you've already done those things, it may be that you've already explored every avenue for other jobs, I'd just be surprised if there were no interesting moves someone with your experience could make

@ThisPeachSnake is it a specialist training post? I know trainees with significantly longer commutes or living in separate parts of the country from their families. Don't give up an NTN for the sake of 2-3 hrs commuting in the short term, if so.

If you think about it, you'll be "working" more hours every day, for the same wage, because in that driving time it's not your own free time. You'll be out of the house 7am until 7pm for the same wage.

I absolutely wouldn't, you'll regret this after the very first traffic jam.

Interim I would but not as a permanent solution. It would be too draining. If you could drive then it kight be financially OK, but if you had to get a train then it might not make financially sense. My partner just had to decline a job cause it is not drivable (central London) and train ticket prices are insane

I did it and lasted 6 months. Although I wasn't as senior as you. I am NHS am now work for a local trust and have a much better work life balance.

I have made peace with my simpler life. Although I do miss working in London. There is no way we could afford to stay and nor could most people I worked with so I wasn't alone.

The commute on top of long shifts, especially when it was icy was too much for me. We also wanted another child and something had to give so I gave up the job I loved.

I have no regrets and things have turned out well, although it was a difficult time and I did struggle with the job move for quite a while. I feel like I've settled in my current role, but I have done so for my family.

It takes me an hour to do 30 miles on the motorway when they want me in office (luckily I can just no go most of the time) so I think an hour for a 50 mile journey is optimistic.

And no, I wouldn't do that. Unless the hour was trains or bus and pretty much door to door.

By car? No way!
By train with minimal changes? Possibly.

Not to be rude, but are you sure that the specialism of your work doesn't exist in somewhere like Cambridge?
It's a somewhat easier travel from Milton Keynes.

If you're going to do it, I'd definitely go by train though. Milton Keynes is an absolute bugger to get in and out of during rush hour. I live in a nearby town, can get to Central MK in 25-30 minutes in clear traffic. It takes an hour in traffic which is mostly centred getting out of MK itself.

So you’re either at band 7 level or you’re around the ST4-6 mark if a doctor. Unless you’re specialising in something like tropical diseases or an obscure part of the optometry world then I can’t see how your role doesn’t exist anywhere else in the country. If you were a medic then you’d need to be all over the place anyway to suit your deanery / training program so I’m going to guess nursing / ahp / midwifery. The option surely would be to sit as you are until something at a senior level comes up? Then fingers crossed for the interview and make the move then. The daily commute unless a very nice train journey will destroy you in months I’d say.

Pre-pandemic I regularly travelled from Edinburgh to Glasgow for my job. Door-to-door it was normally three and a half hours of commuting a day. It was right for us at the time, and there were things I was able to do to make it easier (eating breakfast on the train, for example).

When you say 2 hours/100 miles a day are you saying an hour each way? Because that’s a completely normal commute! Two hours each way I could understand apprehension but an hour each way is very standard surely? Even within London a lot of people’s commutes take that long. Or is it that you have to work shifts so the timing is an issue?

Having been in your position myself, I think the main question is whether its a direct commute and what YOU are happy to do.

I lived in Milton Keynes and worked in London and did that for 10 years. However, I used the train journey as a time to read, listen to music and watch films - basically unwind time between home and work. I didn't use tubes, and instead walked 45mins from Euston to my South Bank office, so got exercise in too.

I also did this commute when I was 38 weeks pregnant.

But that's just me.

There were days when I was unwell, and a 2hr journey home was upsetting. Then there were constant train cancellations, having to take alternative routes home in the freezing cold, rushing to get seats, battling other commuters......

It's such a personal decision as only you know what you find tiring.

I would not do it anymore, but I really enjoyed it when I did it. I miss that me time.

Money is definitely better in London

Good luck x

Yes! 100 miles in total. I know an hour is normal but I do worry re traffic and not seeing my kid. Tough decisions indeed

@ThisPeachSnake Do you work in Central London or more on the outskirts?
Could you move to Watford, a bit cheaper than London but fast train to Euston, only 16 minutes?
Or the outer fringes of London? I think outer SE and E London are the cheapest areas to buy.
If you're planning to drive from MK the M1 is horrible.

I think there are other towns near MK that are on faster trains. Again depends what area of London you're going to, but Leighton Buzzard is on a fast train line and it takes half an hour to Euston.

I absolutely wouldn't drive.

Is it a corporate role or a patient-facing role which only exists within the NHS? If it’s a specialist corporate role I’d look at moving to the private sector or even the civil service (which is better pay than NHS and tonnes of roles outside London).

Sorry, in my earlier post I meant to say I commuted 'up to 38 weeks pregnant' not just the single week 😂

It sounds as if you're not too enthusiastic about the commute, and I think that doing something you're not happy with will exhaust you.

I understand what you're saying about the position being hard to find, but your health and well being will be worth more in the long term than any job.

Just going from your posts, I'm not sure commuting is for you. Good luck on your decision xx

People in receipt of unemployment benefit are expected to travel 90 minutes each way for NMW. I'm sure you'll manage for the additional amount.

'@NeverDropYourMooncup · Today 07:16

People in receipt of unemployment benefit are expected to travel 90 minutes each way for NMW. I'm sure you'll manage for the additional amount.'

The fact that the DWP 'expect' people to do this does not mean it is a sensible or realistic idea...

Travelling 3 hours a day to only make the NMW is daft.

OP, I sense that you're talking about driving from MK into London and back each day. That will take far longer than 1 hour each way. The M1 is notoriously hellish on that route during rush hours.

Have you looked into using the train instead? Or finding a town closer? What part of London do you need to get to? Is it a 9-5 job or shift work?

I did this for a year and it nearly ruined me, I struggled a lot and I only did it because I knew it was only a year, the alternative was living away from my partner. We got through it but I leaned heavily on my partner for everything in terms of day to day household stuff. We had no kids at the time and if we did I don’t know how we would have managed. No job is worth your sanity.