Anybody had an older parent when growing up?

[Shaz83]

anybody Had an older parent when they were younger and how did it feel are your parents still here. How old are they do they help out with child care etc.. if you have children..I will be 42 when my daughter is here so just wondering if anyone had older parents?

My dad was 44 and my mum was 41 when I was born In the 1950's. Both had children by previous marriages so I had much older half sibs, two of whom had already left home when I made my appearance ......I really was a mistake, parents unmarried and hostile to one another. However next brother up (11) and sister (16) were both very kind to me and I spent a lot of time with my sister after she married. My dad died when I was 31 but mum lived until 94 and I was 53 when she died.
I didn't hate having older parents but did feel out of kilter with everyone else and to this day age gaps are a bit strange... I went on to have a late 30s baby after 3 in my 20s and one of my daughters has done the same so I can empathise when things get a bit tough!

My parents were (mum) 37, 39,41 and (dad) 44,46 and 48 when me and my sisters were born.
It made no difference compared to my friends parents. They have always been super youthful and even now at 73 and 80 my parents go trekking through rainforests and travel all over the world ( Galapagos, Ecuador to name a few!) they are wonderful grandparents to our kids.
I very much think it's down to how you independently feel and probably how you age!

My grandad was 56 and my nan was your age when my Mum was born.

I was adopted by parents who were 43 when I was born.

It was the 70's so they were unusual then. I reckon these days it's very common.

I was aware they were older when I was at primary school but then I kind of forgot about it. I think probably being upfront with your children when and if they express concerns is the way to go. I was terrified my mum would die at about age 5 but that may have been general insecurity rather than age related.

70 years young!

Age is no guatentee. My parents had me in their 20s but my dad died when I was 34 and my mum needs 24hr care now I'm 36.
I've just had my 3rd and my husband, babys father, is 52. Of course I worry about his age and him being here for the kids as adults.. but what can you do? Life plays out how it plays out. I know the children have a good loving father and a stable home. Who knows how long he will be around for their adulthood? But they have me and they have each other.
He's pretty healthy and runs 5k every day. His dad is still around and he's mid 80s.. so hopefully he will be around for some time! Like I said I lost my own dad young anyway despite him being in his late 20s when he had me. And yes it hurt but it hurts you at any age. He was a good dad.

My friend’s 50-year-old mum had a tumour.

The tumour turned out to be my friend. Her dad was something like 60.

My mum was 41 and dad was 50 when I was born. I'm 37 my mum is still here my dad passed when I was in my early 20s. My childhood was good and their ages never bothered me at the time. Looking back I do feel I missed out on having siblings/cousins around the same age though as they were all a decade or more older (same with the kids of my parents friends) so I had no one to play with until school and I think that's part of why I was so shy, although I did manage to make a few close friends. Never met any kids on holiday either as my parents never took us to child-centric places, so yeah I was alone a lot. I'm not complaining btw as these are all such minor things but there was no Mcdonalds or pizza hut or centre parcs and I do just kinda wish I could've met some other kids on holiday instead of it just being me and my parents in an english pub or farm house (although good memories of those) the whole time.

I don't want children myself although I know my parents would've made wonderful grandparents, my brothers don't have kids either so it never happened which is a bit of a shame as I know they'd have done all they could and been involved grandparents. I do have some anxiety over getting older and being very alone when something happens to my mum but that's partly my fault for not having a partner or kids I suppose. Even so I don't think they could live up to the family I grew up with (including grandparents who I was lucky enough to still have as they lived to very good ages) as we were extremely close. Also losing my dad hit me extremely hard and it took years to get over.

After giving up all hope, I had my miracle baby at 42.
My pregnancy was a true miracle! We didn’t think we could have a child.
I am forever grateful for my little one.

Im now mid 50’s with a child just starting high school.
We have a lovely lovely life, I work full time, am relatively fit and healthy. (Meno is extremely challenging however).

you will be grand op!

Mine was 38 when I was born and as a teen I did find it a bit embarrassing but her style was almost like Hyacinth Bucket! That's just how she was though as my sister who's in her 50's looks fab and very stylish so I wouldn't have felt embarrassed of her. Shallow I know but that was my teenage thought.
I've always felt sad that I wouldn't have my mum for as long. But there are no guarantees even if she'd had me younger.
I wouldn't worry about it OP. Just love your child and create good memories!

It’s different now though isn’t it? My mum had me at 30 which was older than some of my school friends, now lots of mums at DCs school are in their late 40s and noons bats an eyelid. Granted I’m a Londoner so probably it’s more common.

Also adults dressed differently back in the day, now it’s quite normal to see a 16 yr old and a 50 yr old in the same outfit.

Your mom could live till 90 would you still feel sad? I think 38 is not old to have had you surely….

I think the age of your parents is less significant than a combination of their overall health, their attitude to life amd the quality of their relationship with their children.

First, being an older parent might make physical health challenges more likely but does not guarantee them. Anyone can be unlucky. My mum was not a particularly 'old' mum but died quite young due to cancer after a period when she was practically immobilised and needed lots of looking after. There are no guarantees.

Secondly some people adopt an 'old person' mindset way before others. This can of course be linked to physical health and not the person's fault but it isn't fully explained by physical health either. My dad was not a particularly 'old' dad but had pretty conservative, traditional views that caused a fair few difficulties when we were growing up and which led him to become a bit of a grumpy old man before his time (fortunately he has reversed a lot of this in older age with a fresh outlook - people are rarely too old to change!).

And as for the quality of the relationship... I don't think age dictates that either. My mum's dad was an 'old dad' but she had a wonderful relationship with him.

Basically: there are so many variables. I really hope you don't let worry about this overshadow your experience of becoming a parent.

I’m 30 now with a 6 month old. My dad is 76 (77 in jan) and my mum is 66. I’ve just had a baby this year - they are both super hands on, both fit. Dad was helping my husband mix cement and lay patio down, laying flooring etc in the house recently. I don’t really have anything bad to say about older parents except being really glad they are both retired and can help with baby especially when I go back to work next year.

My dad’s dad was actually 65 when my dad was born (youngest of 11) but unfortunately he did pass away when my dad was 15.

My Mother was 41 but I was her 5th child, she was 24 when she had her first. I was really upset as a younger person that my siblings would have her for so much longer. She did live in to her nineties but m siblings still had her in their lives for so much longer.

Also my dad was partially retired towards the end of my school/college years so I got lots of lifts etc

They were actually quite relaxed parents and I’ve definitely benefited from them being around more and having more financial security.

Interesting to read these responses as I'm in the same boat as you OP - I was 37 when I had my first and will be 42 when my second is born.

My parents on the other hand were 20 and 21 when they had me and had 4 kids by the time they were 30 so I've gone the opposite way

My Dad was 40 when i was born - he was an amazing dad, died at 82. He was the best dad, I never felt he was too old etc - in my day he was definitely older than most. . My mum was a lot younger, she died when i was a teenager. honestly please don't worry, you'll be great.

would you of felt the same if you and your siblings were similar age?

Thanks so much for sharing and no I won’t let it ruin my parenting. ❤️

Thanks for sharing and sorry for your loss. It’s so true you can’t guarantee being here for longer if you have them young or old… so true as I have read so many people posts and can see that now. It’s so nice to read posts like yours who appreciate there parents being fantastic despite there age.. and just reading that helps. So thank you ❤️

I was 42 and my husband was 47 when we had our second. 12 years later it’s still ok. We’re reasonably fit and active. My parents now are 77 and 80 and FiL is 90 and we help them more than the other way round. This is the part I wasn’t expecting and it can be quite demanding caring for older and younger generations simultaneously.

My youngest does sometimes comment that I was the second oldest mum at pick up, but what can you say? It’s true, lol. It hasn’t done him any harm though

Hi 👋 nice to get a message from someone in the same boat. How do you feel about becoming a mom again at 42?

Had an older dad. He was 49 when I was born. Died when I was 17. People always thought he was my grandad. He was a good father though.